Fist post. Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 120
Fist post. Day 1
Hello everyone.
I'm a male in my late 30's and have an awful drinking problem. I drink vodka mainly, anywhere from half a bottle to a bottle a day, only ever after work but it's getting worse.
I hate the person I become when I drink, I can't control my anger. I'm not physically aggressive but I shout and scream, I basically act like a petulant child. I drink alone, in secret. I'm utterly addicted to the stuff, I obsess over it, it completely saturates my life.
I've had a few months sober here and there over the years but i always end up back at the bottle. I think i need to commit to some kind of program. I'm considering AA. I don't know, I feel pretty lost at the moment. I haven't actually lost anything as a result of my addiction yet but I think I will soon if I don't make this stick. My insides hurt, my relationship is hanging on by a thread, my career is suffering. I'm not sure how many more chances I've got.
So, here I am. It's day 1 for me.
I'm a male in my late 30's and have an awful drinking problem. I drink vodka mainly, anywhere from half a bottle to a bottle a day, only ever after work but it's getting worse.
I hate the person I become when I drink, I can't control my anger. I'm not physically aggressive but I shout and scream, I basically act like a petulant child. I drink alone, in secret. I'm utterly addicted to the stuff, I obsess over it, it completely saturates my life.
I've had a few months sober here and there over the years but i always end up back at the bottle. I think i need to commit to some kind of program. I'm considering AA. I don't know, I feel pretty lost at the moment. I haven't actually lost anything as a result of my addiction yet but I think I will soon if I don't make this stick. My insides hurt, my relationship is hanging on by a thread, my career is suffering. I'm not sure how many more chances I've got.
So, here I am. It's day 1 for me.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,980
to SR Toddy. Members here at SR have used SR as a recovery program to get and stay sober.AA is also a good program for recovery as well.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Hi Toddy - well done that is sometimes the most challenging step - admitting to the problem, facing it head on and accepting that it's time to stop. And you have just done that - so great - post daily or more often if you need to—lots of support here for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2022
Posts: 115
Welcome Toddy! You say you haven't lost anything yet but what about your amazing awesome true sober self!!!
You made the first step so clearly you rock. You've done the chunks of sobriety before so you know how to get through the hardest parts physically. Just keep yelling at that Alcholic Voice, tell it to shut the **** up. If you're a reader and haven't already, take up This Naked Mind and Rational Recovery. And do the nice things for yourself! Figure out what pampering yourself looks like and do it! Today! Make some awesome plans and some boring relaxing plans and cherish them.
Appreciate you sharing, it very truly helps folks like me who are also chipping away at the new normal. You got this!
You made the first step so clearly you rock. You've done the chunks of sobriety before so you know how to get through the hardest parts physically. Just keep yelling at that Alcholic Voice, tell it to shut the **** up. If you're a reader and haven't already, take up This Naked Mind and Rational Recovery. And do the nice things for yourself! Figure out what pampering yourself looks like and do it! Today! Make some awesome plans and some boring relaxing plans and cherish them.
Appreciate you sharing, it very truly helps folks like me who are also chipping away at the new normal. You got this!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,940
Welcome to SR!
Don't consider going to AA, JUST GO! Today would be good.
You can figure out your recovery strategy in the coming days and weeks, and AA may be a part of it, or it may not. But in the meantime, it is something that you can immediately do today.
Vodka was my undoing. I was mostly a beer drinker until I couldn't quite get the buzz I wanted. So then I added shots of vodka to the party. My beer drinking decreased and my vodka consumption increased.
Today, the thought of drinking vodka just makes me shudder with revulsion.
Don't consider going to AA, JUST GO! Today would be good.
You can figure out your recovery strategy in the coming days and weeks, and AA may be a part of it, or it may not. But in the meantime, it is something that you can immediately do today.
Vodka was my undoing. I was mostly a beer drinker until I couldn't quite get the buzz I wanted. So then I added shots of vodka to the party. My beer drinking decreased and my vodka consumption increased.
Today, the thought of drinking vodka just makes me shudder with revulsion.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 120
Thanks for the replies everyone.
I just had a long chat with my girlfriend about everything, she was understandably upset that I've been lying to her and drinking in secret but it feels good to get everything out in the open. I actually think that's going to be something I need to work on, being more open and honest with people, more vulnerable.
I just had a long chat with my girlfriend about everything, she was understandably upset that I've been lying to her and drinking in secret but it feels good to get everything out in the open. I actually think that's going to be something I need to work on, being more open and honest with people, more vulnerable.
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,975
Hi Toddy! Welcome!
You know, for sure, that the next few days will be tough.
It’ll be such a great thing to unshackle yourself from this. It is worth the effort.
So many people have come to live sober lives. You can too.
Life will still be life. It’ll have great days and it’ll have rough, boring, low-hope days. (Just like anyone else’s life)
A sober day is golden. Drunken days are crap.
Dig in. Plant your feet. Decide that, no matter what, it is the best choice to avoid ingesting the stuff.
Life will be better without it.
Stay well. Keep posting.
Glad you’re here.
You know, for sure, that the next few days will be tough.
It’ll be such a great thing to unshackle yourself from this. It is worth the effort.
So many people have come to live sober lives. You can too.
Life will still be life. It’ll have great days and it’ll have rough, boring, low-hope days. (Just like anyone else’s life)
A sober day is golden. Drunken days are crap.
Dig in. Plant your feet. Decide that, no matter what, it is the best choice to avoid ingesting the stuff.
Life will be better without it.
Stay well. Keep posting.
Glad you’re here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 2,847
Welcome Toddy
Sounds just like myself almost 2 years ago now drinking vodka in secret behind the garden shed every evening.
I had to give it up for my own sanity, i hated what i was doing to myself and others.
Getting sober wasn't easy but certainly doable. Share, read and listen to the advice of others. Theres lots of podcasts online.
Good food and exercise. If you are like me i had to get out of the house and go for a walk until the cravings lessened during the first few weeks. Its after turning into a enjoyable habit now along with other exercise.
Good luck Toddy keep sharing and posting.
Sounds just like myself almost 2 years ago now drinking vodka in secret behind the garden shed every evening.
I had to give it up for my own sanity, i hated what i was doing to myself and others.
Getting sober wasn't easy but certainly doable. Share, read and listen to the advice of others. Theres lots of podcasts online.
Good food and exercise. If you are like me i had to get out of the house and go for a walk until the cravings lessened during the first few weeks. Its after turning into a enjoyable habit now along with other exercise.
Good luck Toddy keep sharing and posting.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,584
Great to have you here with us, Toddy.
I came to SR when I was drinking all day, every day. I can't believe I allowed myself to reach that point. I started out just enjoying a few now & then. Over the years my dependence on it grew. I wasted so much time trying to control the amounts I drank - but it was not possible to become a social drinker at that point.
Reading & posting here helped me to no longer feel alone. Everyone understood how I was feeling - the way my family & friends could not.
We are here to help - you can do it.
I came to SR when I was drinking all day, every day. I can't believe I allowed myself to reach that point. I started out just enjoying a few now & then. Over the years my dependence on it grew. I wasted so much time trying to control the amounts I drank - but it was not possible to become a social drinker at that point.
Reading & posting here helped me to no longer feel alone. Everyone understood how I was feeling - the way my family & friends could not.
We are here to help - you can do it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 746
Continuing to drink only gets worse. Many times its the quantity consumed but its not always that. Its the way we react to alcohol as time goes on. I was putting down more alcohol in my late teens/early 20s then my early 40s. It was more and more bad drunken nights and less good ones. Not that there weren't any disasters in my younger years.
Alcohol can be like a pool hustler that let's you win a few or many games.The losses just get worse and worse but the delusion that we can win remains. Alcohol no longer works the way it use to and its getting worse not better.
Alcohol can be like a pool hustler that let's you win a few or many games.The losses just get worse and worse but the delusion that we can win remains. Alcohol no longer works the way it use to and its getting worse not better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 278
Hello Toddy! I agree with dustyfox, there are two big hurdles, and you've just cleared the first one: which is acknowledging to yourself that you've got to change what you've been doing. Until you take that first step, nothing else will make any difference. So congrats!
The next hurdle is really quite simple: just don't drink. You'll have to do the work yourself, but many people can come along with you, lend you a hand, and give you support, toss ideas your way, help you troubleshoot, and provide a sober community for you. I wish you all the best. Freedom is delicious; savor it and enjoy!
The next hurdle is really quite simple: just don't drink. You'll have to do the work yourself, but many people can come along with you, lend you a hand, and give you support, toss ideas your way, help you troubleshoot, and provide a sober community for you. I wish you all the best. Freedom is delicious; savor it and enjoy!
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