freedomfries

I want what my recovered friend has. He's so happy and overcame a really bad addiction. NA changed his life. But I'm not welcome in AA or NA.

freedomfries

I'm on so many psych meds. Five in total. It makes me think my insane thoughts are actually reality, because surely the meds would stop paranoia and delusions?

freedomfries

Therapy, NA/AA. That's what my friend did, and it freed him from a bad meth problem.

I don't trust therapists or 12 steppers and I never will. :/

I guess I just need raw willpower to beat this. And I don't know if I have it.

RAL

Maybe look at online meetings if in person too difficult. Look at smart as well as aa maybe ?

Willpower never enough. If thsts all it took we would all be long term sober now

freedomfries

Yeah. Maybe online meetings from other countries. Then I wouldn't be so sure they know and hate me.

kes

Mate, If you're on meds it's important that you take them, quitting without talking with the Doc can lead to disaster. I know when my bro got sectioned he stopped taking anti-psychotic's and lost it in a big way. It was a nightmare for me and all the family. When he wasn't on the meds he had a needle in his arm. when he was taking them he didn't - get me!!!!!!!!! Your call pal and your life, not mine, but I KNOW what happens

freedomfries

I do need an anti psychotic. I know that deep down.

i have a psychiatrist appt Thursday. I could ask for the equivalent oral invega pill instead of the xeplion.

freedomfries

So I texted my friend and he's free to video chat tonight.

I'm going to shave, shower,shower nice clothes. Like I was meeting him in person, which may not happen for a while due to my anxiety.

I'll try not to unload problems on him, focus on the positive things happening in my life.

kes

Mate the fact that you know your head aint working properly is good, you're already a big part of the way there. Get the right meds and you'll start to feel better. That's what happened with my bro.
When he wasn't on his meds, he thought there was nothing wrong with him even tho he got sectioned and was incredibly dangerous. The day after boxing day 2014, he was psychotic and using vast amounts of coke/heroin and crack, he pulled a knife on me and threatned to stab me to death. Believe me, I ain't frightened of anybody that walks this planet, but on that occasion I had to flee, big time.
Point I'm making FF is meet the doc urgently and get help otherwise it could, and probably will, end in disaster. Psychosis and illicit drugs, a lethal combination! Sorry mate, I've never minced my words and say it as it is, but I'm concerned about you and your current condition. Get help please.

kes

FF, I'm not impling you're using, but if you are or you're drinking with mental health issues it's incredibly dangerous, that's all. i'm only trying to help pal

Dee74

I don't think its raw willpower - or it wasn't for me.

I accepted I was in real trouble and that I had to change things....not for a day or a month or a year but for good.

I could have the kind of life I wanted, and be the kind of person I wanted to be...or I could drink, but not both.

I also had to accept that I needed medication if I wanted to be all I wanted to be.

D

RecklessDrunk

AA is not about getting by on willpower. This is talked about in the literature.

It also mentions if you want we have and are willing to go to any length to get it you are ready to take certain steps.

It also mentions those who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders. Many of whom recover if they are capable of being honest.

Try to block out everything else and focus on the program. Forget about what people think. Anybody looking down on you may just not last that long anyway. This about your survival, not what people think.

Pick out who you think will be a good sponsor and just follow simple instructions. Dedicate yourself to the program. The more you put in the more you will get out.

Don't even worry about what steps are ahead. You will build more sobriety by then anyway.

nez

Especially forget about what you think other people think.

nez

I am not upset or angry and I don't even want an answer, I just want you to think about things you say and to recognize that our words do have impact on others. My question is... what have I done to make you not trust me?

RAL

How are you this morning FF?

Kaptn

Sending positive MOJO and peaceful vibes your way, Freedom.