tumbleweed22

I never thought I’d get to this point. My dad was an alcoholic. I keep trying to stop and can’t. I’ve destroyed my relationship with my kids. What do I do? My family thinks I’ve stopped, but I’m lying to them. I don’t want to die. I need help.

Dee74

hi and welcome tumbleweed

I drank all day everyday.
This is a great community - the support understanding and good ideas helped me make sober days, one by one, in the beginning.

I read a lot of other peoples threads and made a few of my own. I looked at how others were getting and staying sober-,AA or rehab but lots of other ways too - and I picked a way - SR based - that made the most sense to me.

You're not alone with this - we have your back
D

AthensDawgs

rehab, medications which have evened me out, and if I drink I'll end up back in the hospital.

my best friend passed away a few years ago and he was an alcoholic just like myself. His mom attended his funeral. I refuse to have my dad and my other family members have to attend my funeral because I couldn't change when I know I could.

Khorhey

Lots of good information on here. Read through the threads. Lots of suggestions about everything.
Read the addiction library on this site. Lots of good information there too.

Have you tried AA. There are online meetings all day and night long.
https://aa-intergroup.org/meetings/

aasharon90

There are many avenues to take to learn how to get
and stay sober. I was taught in a 28 day rehab facility
with a 6 week outpatient program to get me started
on my journey in recovery back in August 1990.

Once the seed of recovery was planted I continued
on a daily basis feeding it with more helpful recovery
tools, knowledge, information to guide me along the
way to achieving continuous sobriety for 32 yrs.

With willingness, an openmind and honesty, I listened,
learned, absorbed and applied what so many before me
learned themselves, passed on to me and others to
become successful in staying sober a day at a time.

I surrounded myself with recovery support. Like minded
folks wanting the same thing as I. To build a strong recovery
foundation to live my life upon achieving many of lifes
wonderful gifts.

With changes along the way, layers of an onion peeled
away, walls I built up around myself to fall away, to experience
a freedom like no other, we begin to heal and become
stronger in heart, mind and soul.

A freedom from our addiction worth achieving.

And the best of all, you we us never have to achieve this
along or by ourselves.

Recovery support is important.

DriGuy

I never mentioned how much I admire your 32 years, an how seriously you approached sobriety. You are a winner.

Tumbleweed, as aasharon, points out there are many ways to approach quitting, but there are some requirements that are common to all of them and essential to success.

First, you have to want it, but not in just a "Wouldn't be nice" kind of way. This is something you make up your mind to do in an uncompromising way. Along the way we have all tested how much we can cheat or get away with, while expecting to get well. It's OK to not know how to do it in the beginning, but hang out here or in some other program, and you will be given ideas. Not all of them will work for you, but all have something that were useful to someone. You may not know how to do it now, but through trial and error, success and failure, you will learn to put together sets of tools that will work for you.

Second, you will have to accept the idea of never taking another drink. At first we all sought ways to control our drinking and failed. One drink sets off a chemical response that reawakens our addiction and takes us back to square one. If you are not an alcoholic, you can control your drinking, and you won't have the same chemical response. But alcoholics cannot. In fact, the most common definition of alcoholic is "one who cannot control his drinking." You are going to have to stop for good, but where's the hope in that? This is something you will discover after you get sober. Believe me, being able to drink has nothing to do with building a rewarding life. You can be very happy in life long recovery.

You will learn the ins and outs as you go along. SR is a good place to get help.

fishkiller

Welcome!

In the beginning for me it was "just don't drink today". No matter what.

After a while it became "I do not drink, no matter what"

I drank every day for over 30 years.
I haven't drank in over 2.5 years.

You Too can do it.

Stick around, read, post, yell at the moon. WHATEVER IT TAKES

biminiblue

No one comes to this site on a winning streak, tumbleweed22. I can feel the pain you're in.

It can stop.

There are no negotiations with alcohol once a certain point is reached. The only way out of the misery was for me to stop drinking completely. It was hard at first, and really uncomfortable, but I'm coming up on nine years sober - mostly through daily participation on this site and daily AA meetings in the first four months.

If you truly cannot stop, I'd suggest talking to your doctor honestly about what's going on. It's a difficult thing, and they can offer home detox with just a few days of medications if you're a candidate. Make the appointment.

It's such a better life sober. I wish we could all extend to you the exact feeling that happens after some sober time. I'd never go back to the drinking life.

Hodd

Lots of options and support available including this site. The thing is, though, the first step has to come from you. We all know how unnatural it feels to stop drinking, but that’s what needs to be done. You need to say to yourself sooner rather than later than you’re not going to drink that day. You’ll feel awful I’m afraid and probably worse the next day. That’s when most of us had that “one” drink to calm our nerves. If you break that cycles for a few weeks - not even one drink - it starts to become a little easier. I know it’s hard, but you’ll be glad you went through a few weeks of gloom for a way better life ahead.

spen71

my old sponsor always said "dont have the first drink" if you dont have the first one, you cannot have 2,3,4 etc

nez

Remember why you wanted to stop. Remember why you wanted to stop. Remember why you wanted to stop.

It was a good reason then. It is a good reason today.

Remember why. and then call AA or local mental health department and ask for help.
Keep posting on here.
Pick up the keyboard every time you feel like picking up the bottle.
Don't pick up the bottle while waiting for a reply.

You don't drown by falling into the river. You drown by staying there.

decchemist

Put the work in to be an ex-drinker and you will be able to rebuild your relationship with your kids. Tell them you are sorry and then don't drink. Been there, done it. Get all the support you can.

brighterday1234

Don’t take the first drink. Dedicate your life to sobriety and recovery. Live in AA meetings, stay close to SR, see if rehab is an option. A sober life is possible and there are many on SR and in AA who are testament to this.

Farrier

Tumbleweed, make an appointment with your Dr right away and see what sort of treatment is available locally. Some people are very fortunate and have been able to white knuckle it, but beware that it CAN be dangerous, even life threatening to suddenly quit alcohol without supervision if you have been drinking hard for many years. You can quit but be safe about it.

mns1

The only way to stop tumbleweed is to do exactly that. Stop. Stand up to your addictive voice, which is that voice in your mind that says things like, "To hell with it. I'll never be able to stop. So may as well just drink." You're here, which means you know it's all lies. As soon as that dialogue starts in your head, just say no. This may sound impossible to you right now. But you can do this. Trust us.

Alpine

I plan on responding tomorrow, getting tired. But I can tell you that the people here offer great insight.

sugarbear1

Start with a visit to your doctor. Stopping alcohol consumption abruptly can be lethal.

Maybe a rehab, so you can stay away from the alcohol; it does help and you become educated about addictions/alcoholism and how our bodies react to alcohol, etc.

Find a program of recovery and work it like it's life or death. My experience as I had more than 25 years of drinking in my history by this point.......

Women for Recovery, Men for Recovery, Life Ring, SOS, Rational Recovery, AVRT, AA, all have successes with recovery.

BornToBeSober

Take it one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself at first. I remember always having a hard time thinking that I'd never drink again. Don't focus on that just focus on today.

Also, make sure you do everything in your power to make your sober life a great one. I love making the most out of my mornings by going to the gym. It always reminds me what I would be doing if I had drank or used drugs the night before and how the whole morning or day would be wasted recovering.

kes

Hi
If I can kick, anyone can. Believe me, i was chronic averaging 50 units a day (for the last 3 years) and a real poorly liver.

I went to see my doc and he referred me to a 10 day inpatiednt detox. I was warned NOT to attempt stopping on my own as it could lead to a fatal seizure.

In Detox, they gave me librium which removed all physical withdrawel. I'm now on day 79 without a drink and haven't touched a drop since I was discharged.

The real journey begins when you leave de-tox. I attend AA meetings and I'm on here everyday. Both really help.

I wouldn't have stood a chance without detox. I couldn't tie my shoe laces in a morning due to the DT's. I started drinking at 8am and didn't stop until I passed out. So as I say, If I can, you can.

Good luck buddy.

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

I stopped drinking probably hundreds of times.

Staying stopped however, for more than a few days was a different story.

Two key things helped me in finally getting sober for good. They were daily participation on this website and finally giving up and going to AA. I would recommend both.