GetSmart

I have the same doubts/insecurities about vigilance; and in a way, they are well grounded. For now (day 4) I'm just drilling into my head that I don't want ever, ever, to wake up again in the middle of the night sleeping on the floor because I crawled there, passed out. And there is only 1 way to make sure that happens--which also means that I can't have a little wine with dinner, or a cold beer on a hot summer day. Why tempt fate and pretend not to know that drinking any quantity at a given time means--inevitably and indisputably--that I will wind up curled up on the floor again some day. It's just a fact, and one that I can't escape. Writing this down right now is my defense against complacency. In the past I have made the mistake of visiting this site early on during attempts at sobriety, but failing to keep coming back, and that in itself is letting vigilance down, so I think committing to return daily to SR is a great idea/defense. I just need to hold myself to it. (in the absence of other meetings of the AA variety that I confess to never trying)

DriGuy

When vigilance stopped being a conscious effort, something still lingered. Vigilance was still there, playing in the background and only surfaced when I needed it. I would describe this experience as fun, not work. A stupid thought would occur, and vigilance would appear out of nowhere, smack it down, and give me a chuckle.