10r

Well, I’m not exactly a newcomer.
My recover from alcohol has been an on going struggle.
truthfully, I am happy alcohol free. More energy and basically getting more things done in my life.
Im studying for my career.

My problem is, I know I shouldn’t pick that 6 pack up but but what forces me to do that?
I don’t do weed although it legal here or smoking.

Ive been to detox and psychotherapy.

Im not a heavy drinker. Just beers but that’s not good enough. I want to be zero alcohol.

Im worried about my relationship with my wife. She is in the know.
my doctor also.

Im on the brink of quitting and I really want to. I need an extra push to free me of this.

please can somebody give me inspirational advice.

advbike

Hi 10r, welcome back, I'm glad you posted. All of us here have struggled to quit, myself included. I had over 3 years and actually picked up again due to a time of stress, thinking I could have" just a few". Unfortunately, it never works that way. Once we have changed our brain chemistry, through years of drinking, there is no going back. The prefrontal cortex doesn't function the same and the primitive part of our brain has learned that alcohol provides instant relief for emotional stress or anxiety. Moderation simply isn't possible. The Addictive Voice (AV) results from that basic urge. So the first step is to acknowledge that we can't moderate, and find a way to remind yourself of it constantly. At first it takes regular external reinforcement, but after a while, say 6 mos or more, it is much easier. After a year I rarely had a thought of drinking.

I highly recommend the book Alcohol Explained, by William Morrison, which delves into some of the simple physiological reasons we keep forgetting that we can't moderate and pick up again.

I also recommend joining the latest March "class" which is simply a small group of folks quitting this month, who give others support. There is a great and active group in there this month.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html

And of course, keep reading and posting. Glad to have you here!

advbike

Dee or Anna, could this thread be moved to Newcomers? For more input?

Thanks!

Dee74

Welcome back 10r

I knew I should not drink because it made me unhappy. The community really helped me stay focused on that. Become a regular poster for a while - it really can help

D

doggonecarl

You still drink, so no, you aren't on the brink of quitting. It's drink or don't drink. You'd rather drink.

No one here is going to get you sober. That push is going to have to come from within. You want inspirational advice? Make a decision and take the necessary action. In other words, fish or cut bait.

Hodd

^ Hi 10r, I’d say you’re on the brink of quitting. You’ve acknowledged it’s not good, and you want to quit. The downside is you need to be recognise you’re now dependent on alcohol. It’s beaten you, sadly. You can’t say it’s just beer. I think you know that.

It’s great that you’ve posted. Do you have plan on how to quit? Plenty of advice here.

Hevyn

Hi 10r - I'm so glad you posted.

I think the fact that you came here for encouragement says a lot. When I first found SR 15 yrs. ago I was still drinking, but I quickly found the courage & inspiration I needed by reading & posting. I hope you'll stay and keep talking to us. Please remember - in the end, it brings us nothing but misery & steals our life.

Surrendered19

Reading Alcohol Explained is an excellent idea 10r. So much useful information. One relevant discussion in that book centers on the physical truth that the particular alcohol delivery vehicle is of absolutely no consequence. The problematic use of beer is chemically identical to the problematic use of wine or whisky.

Just a leveling suggestion on how to think about what you are drinking. Alcohol is alcohol my friend.

10r

well I understand what you are saying but that’s not positive.
By that I mean not helping me feel better.

I don’t want to drink. Bottom line really and truely.

It’s taken a lot to admit this to my family, wife and doctor.

I do quit fully sometimes 6 months. Sometimes 2 weeks. Sometimes a few days. I’m being honest.

So as suggested I will join the March 2022 class.


also, sorry to post in the wrong area. I was just reaching out because I needed it.
It was better then taking a drink.

10r

ok yes. Your right. I agree.
I guess I’m just using beer as an excuse to say its “light drinking”.
There is a difference between downing a 40 or six beers.
bottom line drinking is drinking. I agree with that.
I will join the March group.
If your going to support me ok. If your going to bash me then really it’s not helping.

Dee74

No problems with posting in the wrong forum

This is a big group and some approaches are more huggy than others - my advice for now is take what you need.

You can always use the ignore function on any other poster by using the drop down menu under peoples name.

D

doggonecarl

Then if that's the case, commit to never drinking again and do everything in your power to stay quit. If that means reading everything you can about addiction and alcoholism, then do so. Better would be reading and learning everything about recovery and staying sober. Stay an active member of Sober Recovery. Find real life support. You say you have had psychotherapy, but what have you had in the form of treatment for addiction?

There are people here whose posts will make you feel better. They are good at it. They are cherished participants of this forum. It isn't my style. I want to see you succeed at sobriety. I am positive that will make you feel better. Good luck.

10r

It’s ok. I don’t take things too much to heart. I also appreciate what people have to say.
it may be hurtful or their experience, whatever.
Just at this time positive helps.

where do I go to get on the March thread?

Dee74

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-2-a-12.html


D

gypsytears

Hi 10r. I’m glad you posted, it is indeed better than drinking. Dee suggested becoming a regular around here joining the March class is a good step towards that. Keep reading & posting. Lots of support on the board.

10r

Doggon first I’m sorry for the name mispronounced.
I need new glasses really. Can’t see small writing.
It’s all good ok? No worries.
I know you were being honest and I do appreciate that even if it’s harsh.
Its just so much has been harsh, I was looking for something positive.
It fine.

oh, thanks Dee for the link.
much appreciated.

dwtbd

Carl’s post points to the idea of ambivalence, the actual state of addiction , the place of wanting to quit and drinking anyway. It’s the hurdle to get over to begin to live comfortably with being abstinent. It’s a very proactive stance and purposeful state of mind to adopt. Everyone here works and hopes to see others recognize that hurdle and realize what you need to do in order to overcome it , it is possible and it takes focused effort.
Carl is a very good guide in that focus and direction , lending support may sometimes seem uncomfortable in appearance but it’s worth and direction are in the best direction possible.

Welcome aboard , come back often , read , post , ask , this ‘place’ has a lot offer , you can do this
Rootin for ya

Surrendered19

I'm definitely not trying to shame you or bash you in any way 10r. You and I and all of us here are the same. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was attacking you. My bad all the way. We are the same my friend. I'm sorry if I said anything wrong. I'm here for you and I am an ally.

fishkiller

I drank mostly beer. LOTS of it.
I spent a couple decades not wanting to drink but continued stopping at the store Every afternoon and repeating the process.
Nothing Forces you to stop and get that 6 pack.
For me there were 2 things that did push me to drink every day.
First it was what I did. A habit. A bad one but one that is very hard to break.
Second is I was addicted. When we are addicted we really don't think logically. Our addiction controls our thoughts and we all know what it wants.

First thing I did was vow, to myself, I would Never drink again. No Matter What.
This was key. We cannot let any excuse, AV, convince us to drink. One drink, beer, whatever and we are back at square one.
Then I had to find a way to keep that vow. I spent hours sometimes all day here on SR at the beginning. Reading, posting, asking for help. Whatever it took to not drink.

It was a real bitch at first. I spent 3 decades in the same routine now all of a sudden I did not have that. What to do now? Something different of course. Anything to break that horrible routine.
After 30 plus years of blowing every evening in a drunken haze there was a whole new world out there waiting for the sober me. It takes a while to find it but stay sober and do the work and you will find it. 2 years sober and I now wonder what took me so long to find this new world. I LOVE it!

Life ain't easy but living in a drunken haze makes it 10 times more difficult I now see.

If you haven't yet look into AVRT. This has helped me more than anything. To understand what my brain is doing to me. Why it tries to convince me to do something I Really don't want to do.
You had 6 months sober. That is enough time to keep going forever. The AV, however, had other plans. Don't let it win this time.

Most importantly, Do Not Drink No Matter What.

Steely

No matter what.