Incident last weekend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 19
Incident last weekend
Hi all,
Basically I just want to vent on what happened last weekend. I've been worrying about what could've been the past few days now and I've only myself to blame really.
It was my brothers stag do and I thought I could keep drinking like 'one of the boys'. I'm a bit of a lightweight but can never stop drinking when with my friends.
Towards the end of the night I and another friend got involved in a bit of a rumble.
No punches were thrown our way, we were far too drunk to do that but I got into an argument with a woman and she clocked me twice (I think). I don't know why she did that but its safe to assume I probably insulted her and I deserved it.
I got home ok, suffered the next day. Mentally suffering now still. I keep on questioning myself 'what if I hit her back?' etc. There are no indications that I did but I tend to torture myself over these scenarios.
I'm an idiot and just wish I could've been sober last weekend.
I'm going away next month and I keep telling myself I don't deserve to go because of this incident.
But yeah, cheers people for reading. Needed to let it go so to speak.
Basically I just want to vent on what happened last weekend. I've been worrying about what could've been the past few days now and I've only myself to blame really.
It was my brothers stag do and I thought I could keep drinking like 'one of the boys'. I'm a bit of a lightweight but can never stop drinking when with my friends.
Towards the end of the night I and another friend got involved in a bit of a rumble.
No punches were thrown our way, we were far too drunk to do that but I got into an argument with a woman and she clocked me twice (I think). I don't know why she did that but its safe to assume I probably insulted her and I deserved it.
I got home ok, suffered the next day. Mentally suffering now still. I keep on questioning myself 'what if I hit her back?' etc. There are no indications that I did but I tend to torture myself over these scenarios.
I'm an idiot and just wish I could've been sober last weekend.
I'm going away next month and I keep telling myself I don't deserve to go because of this incident.
But yeah, cheers people for reading. Needed to let it go so to speak.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,601
Sorry to hear you had a bad incident. Many of us have had similar experiences which were the catalyst to us quitting drinking.
It's not about being a lightweight it's just knowing that once we start drinking anything could happen.
Could you ask one of the others you were with what happened maybe. Be thankful it wasnt worse. My neighbours son was killed in a 1 punch bar brawl.
At least if you quit drinking you know nothing like this or worse will ever happen again.
It's not about being a lightweight it's just knowing that once we start drinking anything could happen.
Could you ask one of the others you were with what happened maybe. Be thankful it wasnt worse. My neighbours son was killed in a 1 punch bar brawl.
At least if you quit drinking you know nothing like this or worse will ever happen again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by RAL 
Sorry to hear you had a bad incident. Many of us have had similar experiences which were the catalyst to us quitting drinking.
It's not about being a lightweight it's just knowing that once we start drinking anything could happen.
Could you ask one of the others you were with what happened maybe. Be thankful it wasnt worse. My neighbours son was killed in a 1 punch bar brawl.
At least if you quit drinking you know nothing like this or worse will ever happen again.
It's not about being a lightweight it's just knowing that once we start drinking anything could happen.
Could you ask one of the others you were with what happened maybe. Be thankful it wasnt worse. My neighbours son was killed in a 1 punch bar brawl.
At least if you quit drinking you know nothing like this or worse will ever happen again.
I will pluck up the courage eventually though. I got lucky this time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think the only way to settle your unease is to ask.
in the wider perspective tho, whatever happened, that guy is clearly not who you want to be….so as signs from the universe go, they don’t come much bigger needtostop?
D
in the wider perspective tho, whatever happened, that guy is clearly not who you want to be….so as signs from the universe go, they don’t come much bigger needtostop?
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Hi Needtostop - I'm so glad you posted about what happened.
One of the main reasons I quit was due to incidents like that. I have one particular event that haunts me many years later. I did out-of-character & dangerous things. I knew I could never trust myself once it was in my system. Take this as further proof that you can't touch the stuff without an unexpected outcome.
One of the main reasons I quit was due to incidents like that. I have one particular event that haunts me many years later. I did out-of-character & dangerous things. I knew I could never trust myself once it was in my system. Take this as further proof that you can't touch the stuff without an unexpected outcome.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Hopefully you did nothing to awful!
Most of us...ALL of us have done really stupid, embarrassing, illegal, wrong , things that we only half remember, or don't remember at all, when we have been drunk. It's a very, very good reason to stop drinking,
Most of us...ALL of us have done really stupid, embarrassing, illegal, wrong , things that we only half remember, or don't remember at all, when we have been drunk. It's a very, very good reason to stop drinking,
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
You've posted five threads. All them AFTER you drink. All about how you regret your behavior. Two of them about potential violence against women.
You username says it all...
You needtostop drinking. Now.
You username says it all...
You needtostop drinking. Now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
You've posted five threads. All them AFTER you drink. All about how you regret your behavior. Two of them about potential violence against women.
You username says it all...
You needtostop drinking. Now.
You username says it all...
You needtostop drinking. Now.
I feel I've done enough damage though, feel like I can't come back from this. In fact I feel sick.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
When I first stopped drinking (2 years ago, with a 8 month relapse in the middle) I was besides myself with the fall out of my drinking. Anxious doesn't come close...I'll try horrified, sickened, despairing, suicidal, embarrassed, ashamed, shocked. And more besides.
There isn't any way round it, just the cold logical certainty that to carry on drinking will just make things worse. Time to put on my big boy pants and face it in the eye. I'm having to do that again now a second time round.
To risk another episode is lunacy. Be brave
There isn't any way round it, just the cold logical certainty that to carry on drinking will just make things worse. Time to put on my big boy pants and face it in the eye. I'm having to do that again now a second time round.
To risk another episode is lunacy. Be brave
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
The "feel like I can't come back from this" talk sounds like you are searching for reasons to conclude that all is lost, so may as well have a few drinks right?
Deal with what you know. The truth is never as scary as it seems and you should just ask your drinking buddies exactly what happened. Something you can get your arms around.
Then, as others have suggested, could there be a more concrete example of why you truly need to stop? Before I quit my drunken escapades eventually crossed over from verbally hurting people to physically hurting people and I did things that cannot be undone and that will always bother me.
Don't do that needtostop.
Deal with what you know. The truth is never as scary as it seems and you should just ask your drinking buddies exactly what happened. Something you can get your arms around.
Then, as others have suggested, could there be a more concrete example of why you truly need to stop? Before I quit my drunken escapades eventually crossed over from verbally hurting people to physically hurting people and I did things that cannot be undone and that will always bother me.
Don't do that needtostop.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
The "feel like I can't come back from this" talk sounds like you are searching for reasons to conclude that all is lost, so may as well have a few drinks right?
Deal with what you know. The truth is never as scary as it seems and you should just ask your drinking buddies exactly what happened. Something you can get your arms around.
Then, as others have suggested, could there be a more concrete example of why you truly need to stop? Before I quit my drunken escapades eventually crossed over from verbally hurting people to physically hurting people and I did things that cannot be undone and that will always bother me.
Don't do that needtostop.
Deal with what you know. The truth is never as scary as it seems and you should just ask your drinking buddies exactly what happened. Something you can get your arms around.
Then, as others have suggested, could there be a more concrete example of why you truly need to stop? Before I quit my drunken escapades eventually crossed over from verbally hurting people to physically hurting people and I did things that cannot be undone and that will always bother me.
Don't do that needtostop.
I will eventually ask my brother what happened. The 'good' thing is if anything did happen then I would've known about it as my brother despises violence against women, I live with my Mum so he would've told Mum straight away and I probably would've been moving out by now. I still need to ask him though as my anxiety is through the roof.
I was planning to move away next month to another continent for a while. A new start. Just to get away from everything. But I feel like I don't deserve it now, like I have to suffer.
I feel ******* awful tbh. Sorry.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,601
You can come back from this -by committing to not drinking so you know nothing like this will ever happen again.
If there had been violence surely the police would have been involved so maybe this is a good wake up call.
Hope you stick around on here
If there had been violence surely the police would have been involved so maybe this is a good wake up call.
Hope you stick around on here
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by needtostop87
I was planning to move away next month to another continent for a while. A new start. Just to get away from everything.
If the problem is you, moving won't fix it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
There are a lot of people who think a geographical relocation will kickstart their recovery. But there is a saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."
If the problem is you, moving won't fix it.
If the problem is you, moving won't fix it.
I think a break from home would do me good. Away from the usual surroundings, temptations to go out with the lads etc. I need to forgive myself first though.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by needtostop87
I was thinking of moving a good few months before what happened last weekend. This hasn't been an on the whim decision so to speak.
I'm not trying to dissuade you from moving. What I am trying to say is whatever you would have needed to do to get sober at home, you'll likely need to do at your new location. Alcohol is everywhere. You are going to want to socialize. The two together is what has led you to over consumption and the resulting problems. Move. But make the decision to quit drinking and do whatever you can to support that decision.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
You've had this problem for years before the decision to move. You are not likely to leave it behind.
I'm not trying to dissuade you from moving. What I am trying to say is whatever you would have needed to do to get sober at home, you'll likely need to do at your new location. Alcohol is everywhere. You are going to want to socialize. The two together is what has led you to over consumption and the resulting problems. Move. But make the decision to quit drinking and do whatever you can to support that decision.
I'm not trying to dissuade you from moving. What I am trying to say is whatever you would have needed to do to get sober at home, you'll likely need to do at your new location. Alcohol is everywhere. You are going to want to socialize. The two together is what has led you to over consumption and the resulting problems. Move. But make the decision to quit drinking and do whatever you can to support that decision.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
I hope your move gives what you what you want, but I doubt it, not unless you stop drinking.
It is one thing to do stupid embarrassing stuff that just makes you look stupid and embarrassing - it is a whole other level to cause harm to others,
You sound like a guy that doesn't want to cause harm to others, that's how it sounds when you're sober....so ......stay sober.
We all of us run a better chance of not hurting ourselves or others, either emotionally of physically if we are sober....so it really is a no brainer....
It is one thing to do stupid embarrassing stuff that just makes you look stupid and embarrassing - it is a whole other level to cause harm to others,
You sound like a guy that doesn't want to cause harm to others, that's how it sounds when you're sober....so ......stay sober.
We all of us run a better chance of not hurting ourselves or others, either emotionally of physically if we are sober....so it really is a no brainer....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by dustyfox
I hope your move gives what you what you want, but I doubt it, not unless you stop drinking.
It is one thing to do stupid embarrassing stuff that just makes you look stupid and embarrassing - it is a whole other level to cause harm to others,
You sound like a guy that doesn't want to cause harm to others, that's how it sounds when you're sober....so ......stay sober.
We all of us run a better chance of not hurting ourselves or others, either emotionally of physically if we are sober....so it really is a no brainer....
It is one thing to do stupid embarrassing stuff that just makes you look stupid and embarrassing - it is a whole other level to cause harm to others,
You sound like a guy that doesn't want to cause harm to others, that's how it sounds when you're sober....so ......stay sober.
We all of us run a better chance of not hurting ourselves or others, either emotionally of physically if we are sober....so it really is a no brainer....
Like I haven't drank since the weekend and I don't think about it. All I've thought about is me being an idiot last weekend.
I don't know anymore, guess I'm just rambling.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
Hi Needtostop, I had virtually identical experiences in my drinking career and the only way to stop feeling like you do is to quit. There is no other way. The number of times I woke up in sheer panic about what had occurred the evening before drove me, eventually, to quit for good. Don't go through more cycles of this. Make a stand and stop. Keep coming here.
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