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That was awful

Old 03-11-2022, 11:45 PM
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That was awful

Last night i had a dream omg it was so real, i stopped at some pub to use the loo, and my husband said I'm busting i will go first, while he was gone i said to the lady behind the bar, glass of wine, i knocked it back, then i have sat bolt upright (woke up) i can't explain the fear, it was like the fear of god had been put up me. I have had dreams in recovery before but nothing like the feeling i had last night, is that AV or subconcious, i need to be so vigilant, everything felt great then BANG last couple of days (weird stuff)
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Old 03-11-2022, 11:58 PM
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I've been sober for nine years and I still get those dreams! They can rattle a person but luckily you still wake up sober!
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Old 03-12-2022, 12:13 AM
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Yes, the dream just felt so real. 9 years is fantastic.
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Old 03-12-2022, 01:18 AM
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Yeah they’re perfectly normal. They come and go, use them to reaffirm step 1 🙏
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Old 03-12-2022, 03:51 AM
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I went for a power walk and my mood has lifted, think i just needed to get fresh air and remind myself 👍
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Old 03-12-2022, 04:20 AM
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It is so good to see you posting and doing well. As you say, be vigilante now. Be hyper aware of the AV creeping in. The absolutely ridiculousness of the AV telling you that you should "reward" yourself for your hard work. Another good line is "Oh what a difficult situation I am in, a drink will help me deal!" Utter crap! In my early days of sobriety I found these were the arguments I was facing. Luckily the memory of my horrible relapses were my ammunition, even though in the early days I was quite uncomfortable fighting the urge.
You are doing so great, Mummy! I don't want to see you disappear again.
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Old 03-12-2022, 04:50 AM
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Thanks, i have not got another relapse in me, i will fight this all the way.
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Old 03-12-2022, 05:09 AM
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I still have drinking dreams, too! And it's been many years since I drank. Not since 1982, in fact. It certainly is comforting to wake up though and know it was just a dream.
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Old 03-12-2022, 05:10 AM
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I still have drinking dreams, too! And it's been many years since I drank. Not since 1982, in fact. It certainly is comforting to wake up though and know it was just a dream.
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Old 03-12-2022, 05:36 AM
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Although less frequent, I still have drinking dreams. Waking up is always such sweet relief. I think it is my brain reminding me that we don't drink anymore. I'll use any tool in the toolbox. Even ones that spring from my subconscious.
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Old 03-12-2022, 07:54 AM
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Even when I was using, unless I had alcohol in me at the moment I would not want to use crack cocaine. Yet, every now and then I dream about smoking crack as well as drink. I guess the part of the brain being used during the dream doesn't realize this is no longer an option.

Sometimes in my dreams, dead people had never left. This started I think when I was 15. My father had died 4 years earlier. I had disciplinary problems right from the start of grade school and by 15 found myself 1,000 miles from home in a reform school for emotionally disturbed kids. One night I dreamed that even though I was still 15, I was sitting down to dinner with my parents like when it use to be normal for me to eat a meal with my mother and father. Nothing had ever changed.

I get these dreams from time to time. I see my grandmother in dreams from time to time. I also see a long time close friend that passed several years ago. Even my Siberian husky is alive in some dreams.

Drugs and alcohol are dead to me. Drinking doesn't work the same way that it use to. There was a time it worked for me but that is no longer the case.

I still own some cars that i got rid of long ago.

Maybe in dreams time lines in our lives get mixed together.
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Old 03-12-2022, 08:17 AM
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Good point, i don't mind so much my family who have passed visiting me, thats normal, but this dream just shook me to the core for some reason.
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Old 03-13-2022, 07:01 AM
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I think it hit you so hard because you are early in your sobriety. I see it as a very positive sign for you because you were so rattled by it and are taking sobriety so seriously. These drinking dreams are a gift to us in an odd way.
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Old 03-13-2022, 08:57 AM
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Yes i think they are, so glad it was just a dream, in a weird way I'm glad it happened, perhaps i needed reminding how quickly you can go from a feeling of positiveness to fear, i said it before and saying it again, glad i read that 3 satges to relapse, that has really helped me understand the process, before when i picked up i just thought it was an instantanious thing, now i know different.
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Old 03-13-2022, 11:45 AM
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I have many drinking dreams, even during 6 years of sobriety. Gratefully, they are all terrifying, and very realistic. There are some so realistic it takes several minutes upon awakening to finally accept that they were just dreams. I look at them now as warnings - little reminders of what it was like to live that way. I would be more concerned if the dreams were pleasant. None of mine are.
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Old 03-13-2022, 11:54 AM
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Good point Kad65
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Old 03-14-2022, 02:44 AM
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I average one of these a week. In the beginning they were every night.
I absolutely hate them. They quite literally fill me with abject horror.

Always lovely to wake up sober though, even though the memory of the dream completely taints my start to the day!
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Old 03-14-2022, 04:54 AM
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I had a few of these dreams and still do. I sometimes wake feeling guilty as if i have actually drank and feel I've left myself down.
I think its in the back of my mind, those awful mornings of the "never again" and promising myself i won't do it all over again today.
If these dreams do anything it strengthens my resolve to stay sober.
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