I'm a worse addict now than ?I was before.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
I'm a worse addict now than ?I was before.
Lets not beat around the bush. I'm back. I am drinking again, I am addicted to codeine, and I am addicted to cannabis.
It all started with the odd beer last year. I'd have a couple on a Saturday and then non for a week or two. And slowly, but surely that gap is closing in. Past 3 days I've drank 2 cans a night. I know where this is going.
You think you've got a handle on your addiction. You think you've nailed. You think you're immune.
I've been using codeine daily for about 2 years now. I've tried to quit so many times. I made it 3 days, and today I failed because the pain was so intense. My wife was a heroin addict in her youth and she said quitting codeine is similar to quitting heroin.
I deleted my supplier, so today I was running around the pharmacies grabbing boxes of cocodimol. I've got a little setup I use to extract the codeine. That's how rough it gets. S**ts real.
The cannabis issue I've never dealt with.
I'm clearly not strong enough to do this alone. I feel like I need rehab if I'm honest. I 100% need support quitting codeine.
This battle is so hard and I feel like giving up a lot of the time, but here I am. I've got 3 things I need to quit now, and the hardest is the codiene. I can not drink, at the moment I'm not getting drunk or drinking excessive. I know that's no excuse to drink, but that's the easiest one to focus on right now.
I need professional help though.
It all started with the odd beer last year. I'd have a couple on a Saturday and then non for a week or two. And slowly, but surely that gap is closing in. Past 3 days I've drank 2 cans a night. I know where this is going.
You think you've got a handle on your addiction. You think you've nailed. You think you're immune.
I've been using codeine daily for about 2 years now. I've tried to quit so many times. I made it 3 days, and today I failed because the pain was so intense. My wife was a heroin addict in her youth and she said quitting codeine is similar to quitting heroin.
I deleted my supplier, so today I was running around the pharmacies grabbing boxes of cocodimol. I've got a little setup I use to extract the codeine. That's how rough it gets. S**ts real.
The cannabis issue I've never dealt with.
I'm clearly not strong enough to do this alone. I feel like I need rehab if I'm honest. I 100% need support quitting codeine.
This battle is so hard and I feel like giving up a lot of the time, but here I am. I've got 3 things I need to quit now, and the hardest is the codiene. I can not drink, at the moment I'm not getting drunk or drinking excessive. I know that's no excuse to drink, but that's the easiest one to focus on right now.
I need professional help though.
Yield beautiful changes
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,699
I’m so glad that you’re here! Addiction progresses as time goes on, so it’s not surprising that you’re worse off now compared to years ago. Certainly progressed for me over the years! (Chronic diseases do that)
Today is my day 17 - clean of pain medications and alcohol. Hardest/best/most humbling thing I’ve ever done for myself was ask for, and be willing to receive, help.
You can feel better, too! That life that seems beyond reach is actually just 1 decision away. Today I decide to be sober, and I cultivate gratitude for the opportunity to make that decision.
Today you can decide, too!
Love,
TC
Today is my day 17 - clean of pain medications and alcohol. Hardest/best/most humbling thing I’ve ever done for myself was ask for, and be willing to receive, help.
You can feel better, too! That life that seems beyond reach is actually just 1 decision away. Today I decide to be sober, and I cultivate gratitude for the opportunity to make that decision.
Today you can decide, too!
Love,
TC
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Thank you for sharing, and well done on day 17 with no pain meds or alcohol! That's one heck of an achievement because I know pain meds are difficult to come of.
Did you have withdrawal from the pain medications? Was it difficult? How long was it difficult for before it felt better? I can stop the alcohol, and I shall do because I really don't want to end up where I was with that.
I want to quit so much. I've tried to quit codeine may times (I think I posted about this mid last year). This by far was the roughest quitting experience.
I'm determined to go again tomorrow. I slipped up today because I couldn't deal with the toilet issues, and the pain. I thought day 4 was going to be easier but it was worse today.
I've only taken 32mg of codeine today. I usually taken a lot more than that, but as I said it was just to get rid of the withdrawal symptoms. My cold water extraction is cloudy, they've put stuff in the tablets now and you can't get rid of the cloudyness. I won't risk drinking that "just incase".
I poured it away and threw the rest of the packets out.
I guess the reality is I have to just do it. I have to make that decision to die out that storm.
Did you have withdrawal from the pain medications? Was it difficult? How long was it difficult for before it felt better? I can stop the alcohol, and I shall do because I really don't want to end up where I was with that.
I want to quit so much. I've tried to quit codeine may times (I think I posted about this mid last year). This by far was the roughest quitting experience.
I'm determined to go again tomorrow. I slipped up today because I couldn't deal with the toilet issues, and the pain. I thought day 4 was going to be easier but it was worse today.
I've only taken 32mg of codeine today. I usually taken a lot more than that, but as I said it was just to get rid of the withdrawal symptoms. My cold water extraction is cloudy, they've put stuff in the tablets now and you can't get rid of the cloudyness. I won't risk drinking that "just incase".
I poured it away and threw the rest of the packets out.
I guess the reality is I have to just do it. I have to make that decision to die out that storm.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by Anna 
I'm glad you found your way back here. You do have a lot to deal with as you begin recovery, but you will be able to do this.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
16Years - You can turn this whole thing around. You sound ready to get free of it all.
I had 3 yrs. sober once & thought I could manage the occasional drink. Except there is no occasional drink for me. Every time I allow it into my system, it eventually leads to being drunk, careless, reckless. I now know I can never touch it - I have no idea if I'd come out of another binge.
I hope you'll get the help you need. Please keep talking to us & let us know how it's going. We care.
ToughChoices - Congrats on your 17 days off the garbage.
I had 3 yrs. sober once & thought I could manage the occasional drink. Except there is no occasional drink for me. Every time I allow it into my system, it eventually leads to being drunk, careless, reckless. I now know I can never touch it - I have no idea if I'd come out of another binge.
I hope you'll get the help you need. Please keep talking to us & let us know how it's going. We care.
ToughChoices - Congrats on your 17 days off the garbage.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by Hevyn
16Years - You can turn this whole thing around. You sound ready to get free of it all.
I had 3 yrs. sober once & thought I could manage the occasional drink. Except there is no occasional drink for me. Every time I allow it into my system, it eventually leads to being drunk, careless, reckless. I now know I can never touch it - I have no idea if I'd come out of another binge.
I hope you'll get the help you need. Please keep talking to us & let us know how it's going. We care.
ToughChoices - Congrats on your 17 days off the garbage.
I had 3 yrs. sober once & thought I could manage the occasional drink. Except there is no occasional drink for me. Every time I allow it into my system, it eventually leads to being drunk, careless, reckless. I now know I can never touch it - I have no idea if I'd come out of another binge.
I hope you'll get the help you need. Please keep talking to us & let us know how it's going. We care.
ToughChoices - Congrats on your 17 days off the garbage.
Yield beautiful changes
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,699
“Did you have withdrawal from the pain medications?”
Yes. Though it took until about day 7 for me to be miserable. At first I thought I might coast through without any major physical withdrawals. Wrong!!! Opioids can have a delayed withdrawal (depending on your metabolism and use history).
“Was it difficult?”
Yes. I had terrible insomnia, pain, and anxiety that wouldn’t quit. BUT. It was still better than the miserable anxiety I had been experiencing due to my guilt/fear in active addiction.
“How long was it difficult for before it felt better?”
Three really hard days where I could barely move (except to go to AA and my therapy appointments). I honestly prayed that God would deliver me from the pain. And He did. I didn’t deserve deliverance, but I asked and God granted it to me. He loves me and doesn’t want me to suffer.
Today I feel great!!! My back still bugs me from time to time, but my appetite and energy level are back.
It gets better! It gets easier! You can do it!
-TC
Yes. Though it took until about day 7 for me to be miserable. At first I thought I might coast through without any major physical withdrawals. Wrong!!! Opioids can have a delayed withdrawal (depending on your metabolism and use history).
“Was it difficult?”
Yes. I had terrible insomnia, pain, and anxiety that wouldn’t quit. BUT. It was still better than the miserable anxiety I had been experiencing due to my guilt/fear in active addiction.
“How long was it difficult for before it felt better?”
Three really hard days where I could barely move (except to go to AA and my therapy appointments). I honestly prayed that God would deliver me from the pain. And He did. I didn’t deserve deliverance, but I asked and God granted it to me. He loves me and doesn’t want me to suffer.
Today I feel great!!! My back still bugs me from time to time, but my appetite and energy level are back.
It gets better! It gets easier! You can do it!
-TC
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,601
I also take codeine. Co codamol. Too much of it. Every day. I have liver damage so stopped yesterday morning. just starting to feel ill now. Bad head and aches all over. It might get worse before better but it will get better
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 40
21 days off fentanyl and everyday gets better and better. Keep pushing forward!!! 🙏🏻
Originally Posted by 16YearsDrunk
Lets not beat around the bush. I'm back. I am drinking again, I am addicted to codeine, and I am addicted to cannabis.
It all started with the odd beer last year. I'd have a couple on a Saturday and then non for a week or two. And slowly, but surely that gap is closing in. Past 3 days I've drank 2 cans a night. I know where this is going.
You think you've got a handle on your addiction. You think you've nailed. You think you're immune.
I've been using codeine daily for about 2 years now. I've tried to quit so many times. I made it 3 days, and today I failed because the pain was so intense. My wife was a heroin addict in her youth and she said quitting codeine is similar to quitting heroin.
I deleted my supplier, so today I was running around the pharmacies grabbing boxes of cocodimol. I've got a little setup I use to extract the codeine. That's how rough it gets. S**ts real.
The cannabis issue I've never dealt with.
I'm clearly not strong enough to do this alone. I feel like I need rehab if I'm honest. I 100% need support quitting codeine.
This battle is so hard and I feel like giving up a lot of the time, but here I am. I've got 3 things I need to quit now, and the hardest is the codiene. I can not drink, at the moment I'm not getting drunk or drinking excessive. I know that's no excuse to drink, but that's the easiest one to focus on right now.
I need professional help though.
It all started with the odd beer last year. I'd have a couple on a Saturday and then non for a week or two. And slowly, but surely that gap is closing in. Past 3 days I've drank 2 cans a night. I know where this is going.
You think you've got a handle on your addiction. You think you've nailed. You think you're immune.
I've been using codeine daily for about 2 years now. I've tried to quit so many times. I made it 3 days, and today I failed because the pain was so intense. My wife was a heroin addict in her youth and she said quitting codeine is similar to quitting heroin.
I deleted my supplier, so today I was running around the pharmacies grabbing boxes of cocodimol. I've got a little setup I use to extract the codeine. That's how rough it gets. S**ts real.
The cannabis issue I've never dealt with.
I'm clearly not strong enough to do this alone. I feel like I need rehab if I'm honest. I 100% need support quitting codeine.
This battle is so hard and I feel like giving up a lot of the time, but here I am. I've got 3 things I need to quit now, and the hardest is the codiene. I can not drink, at the moment I'm not getting drunk or drinking excessive. I know that's no excuse to drink, but that's the easiest one to focus on right now.
I need professional help though.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,598
Your wife is right 16Years. Codeine is an opiate, so yes, you'll feel it. But, as others have said, it can be done. Australia has now prevented Codeine to be bought otc. From what I understand many deaths associated with overuse.
Ditching the Codeine, alcohol, and cannabis might be difficult, even though highly achievable. I'm getting the impression you think you might need rehab though, and I think that's a good idea, too. Go for it!
Hope you continue to post.
Ditching the Codeine, alcohol, and cannabis might be difficult, even though highly achievable. I'm getting the impression you think you might need rehab though, and I think that's a good idea, too. Go for it!
Hope you continue to post.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 1,599
Codeine was one of my DOCs. Withdrawal put me in hospital. I had a headache that was so bad I lost control of my bladder and lay on the floor of the ER screaming. I was tempted to jump in front of a truck. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced. I would not recommend trying to do it on your own or going cold turkey - get advice from your Dr. Addiction gets progressively worse with times. You can never wind back the clock.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Well, last night I did something stupid. I got the co-codimols from the bin and crush up 40 of them with a CWE.
I was going to call an ambulance when I woke up this morning. The headache was unreal. And every time I moved my head it would pound, a little like a hangover. Everything I ate or drank I threw up. Nothing, not even a sip of water would stay done.
I told myself I'm going back to sleep and if I wake up feeling the same, or worse, I'm calling 999. Thankfully I woke up and felt fine and I'm able to eat and drink normally. That was a scare I won't lie. I'm dicing with my health so much here.
But, right now I am sober. I've decided to nip the alcohol in the bud before that gets out of control and work on this current addiction. I don't have anything in the house, and I've asked my son if he can do the duties of running to the shop for milk etc. I have to now avoid the alcohol shops again, like I did before.
Thank you to everybody. I'm going to spend this week making music and playing games and push back my projects by 2 weeks to give myself some time. I didn't do this before and I was working through the withdrawal because I was still oddly productive at times during withdrawal. But, I'm going to remove that stress to help.
I was going to call an ambulance when I woke up this morning. The headache was unreal. And every time I moved my head it would pound, a little like a hangover. Everything I ate or drank I threw up. Nothing, not even a sip of water would stay done.
I told myself I'm going back to sleep and if I wake up feeling the same, or worse, I'm calling 999. Thankfully I woke up and felt fine and I'm able to eat and drink normally. That was a scare I won't lie. I'm dicing with my health so much here.
But, right now I am sober. I've decided to nip the alcohol in the bud before that gets out of control and work on this current addiction. I don't have anything in the house, and I've asked my son if he can do the duties of running to the shop for milk etc. I have to now avoid the alcohol shops again, like I did before.
Thank you to everybody. I'm going to spend this week making music and playing games and push back my projects by 2 weeks to give myself some time. I didn't do this before and I was working through the withdrawal because I was still oddly productive at times during withdrawal. But, I'm going to remove that stress to help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by RAL
I also take codeine. Co codamol. Too much of it. Every day. I have liver damage so stopped yesterday morning. just starting to feel ill now. Bad head and aches all over. It might get worse before better but it will get better
It's nice to know somebody else is going through the same thing. How are you feeling today? I've read for many it takes around 7 days, so my goal now is to get to that 7 days however difficult it might be. Because when I put things into perspective I got two options ... continue doing dangerous things like i did last night, or go through a week of withdrawal. I pick the second now.We've got this
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,601
Originally Posted by 16YearsDrunk
Day 1 for me again too It's nice to know somebody else is going through the same thing. How are you feeling today? I've read for many it takes around 7 days, so my goal now is to get to that 7 days however difficult it might be. Because when I put things into perspective I got two options ... continue doing dangerous things like i did last night, or go through a week of withdrawal. I pick the second now.
We've got this
It's nice to know somebody else is going through the same thing. How are you feeling today? I've read for many it takes around 7 days, so my goal now is to get to that 7 days however difficult it might be. Because when I put things into perspective I got two options ... continue doing dangerous things like i did last night, or go through a week of withdrawal. I pick the second now.We've got this
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