I'm a worse addict now than ?I was before.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
hi 16 years. Glad you are feeling a bit better now. Im feeling really rough. Headache since I woke up and achy body.Just total fatigue too. Even getting off the sofa is an effort. Im at about 60 hours now. Expecting tomorrow to be worse but just going to take it easy. Thanks for asking
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Hey Dee, I love that avatar. It's different to the one I seen when we last communicated.
I'm still pretty shook up by this morning. Having that fear that I'd possibly OD'ed on paracetamol was scary. I'm never ever doing that again, honestly.
No alcohol, no codeine. Almost 24 hours. I'm committed to doing it this time. I'll deal with the other one after, which is a problem but not as worrysome as the codeine addiction right now. I'm going to start smoking cessation therapy in 2 weeks at the local pharmacy.
Feeling positive, and ready to do this. These addiction problems have stopped me progressing with my religion too because I always feel like I'm not "worthy" to be praying to God. My faith is in Islam and I shouldn't be drinking at all, so there is that too. But ultimately I am doing this for me, and my health.
I'm still pretty shook up by this morning. Having that fear that I'd possibly OD'ed on paracetamol was scary. I'm never ever doing that again, honestly.
No alcohol, no codeine. Almost 24 hours. I'm committed to doing it this time. I'll deal with the other one after, which is a problem but not as worrysome as the codeine addiction right now. I'm going to start smoking cessation therapy in 2 weeks at the local pharmacy.
Feeling positive, and ready to do this. These addiction problems have stopped me progressing with my religion too because I always feel like I'm not "worthy" to be praying to God. My faith is in Islam and I shouldn't be drinking at all, so there is that too. But ultimately I am doing this for me, and my health.
Samantha
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Sounds like you're ready to stay sober! I have all the faith you can do this. Although I can imagine it will be a rough couple weeks quitting 3 things at once I do know that you're going to feel amazing not being on anything.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Still here. Had some Internet issues yesterday so I couldn't get online. No alcohol or codeine. I can't sleep. The stomach pain has started. I've got a dentist appointment today and it's pretty urgent because I've got a cracked tooth but with no sleep and me feeling like this I don't think I can go. I might have a toilet accident! I will rebook for next week. I've got the Internet people coming out to replace the router in about 5 hours so I'll have to stay awake now anyway.
It's going to get tough from here on out but I'll be checking in.
It's going to get tough from here on out but I'll be checking in.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Hard day today. Just checking in and reading some posts. Still clean but feeling like I want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever.
I've got a new focus. I'm going to treat myself to a VR headset as a treat for doing this. I want to do VR game development. I can't afford to buy what I need unless I kick addiction.
I've got a new focus. I'm going to treat myself to a VR headset as a treat for doing this. I want to do VR game development. I can't afford to buy what I need unless I kick addiction.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
I've noticed something.
In the day time the cravings are intense. But at night time the cravings and agitation goes away. I think it's because in the day time I know if I really want to I can get it. I can go to the pharmacy. But at night I know I can not. Does that make sense?
I'm not really sure how I'm feeling. It does feel easier than the attempt I made last week. I've not had any diarrhea, or very bad nausea yet. Just agitation, nausea, headache and no appetite. Some episodes where I went hot. But it does feel different.
I won't sleep tonight as I've slept in the day (because I didn't sleep last night). I've luckily, and thankfully, been very alert and I'm able to focus on some programming tasks. I just hope the pain doesn't kick in like last time. I've got a 7 hour course on Unity (game engine) so I think I'll nail this tonight and keep busy.
While physically I may be feeling a little better, mentally I am not. I think if I had it around me now, I would take it. It's so hard at the moment to resist asking people, or making a trip to the pharmacy. Even right now my brain is saying "It's ok because tomorrow you can go the pharmacy if you really need to". And that's the addiction talking.
As for the alcohol, it hasn't been a problem. I haven't craved, or desired that.
When I've nailed this codeine issue, I'll move onto the smoking. Hopefully I'll be starting that in a week or two. After that I'll be tea total completely. I can't wait and I'm keeping my eyes on that prize. That will be the ultimate achievement as I will be in a mental state that I have never ever experienced since I was 14.
In the day time the cravings are intense. But at night time the cravings and agitation goes away. I think it's because in the day time I know if I really want to I can get it. I can go to the pharmacy. But at night I know I can not. Does that make sense?
I'm not really sure how I'm feeling. It does feel easier than the attempt I made last week. I've not had any diarrhea, or very bad nausea yet. Just agitation, nausea, headache and no appetite. Some episodes where I went hot. But it does feel different.
I won't sleep tonight as I've slept in the day (because I didn't sleep last night). I've luckily, and thankfully, been very alert and I'm able to focus on some programming tasks. I just hope the pain doesn't kick in like last time. I've got a 7 hour course on Unity (game engine) so I think I'll nail this tonight and keep busy.
While physically I may be feeling a little better, mentally I am not. I think if I had it around me now, I would take it. It's so hard at the moment to resist asking people, or making a trip to the pharmacy. Even right now my brain is saying "It's ok because tomorrow you can go the pharmacy if you really need to". And that's the addiction talking.
As for the alcohol, it hasn't been a problem. I haven't craved, or desired that.
When I've nailed this codeine issue, I'll move onto the smoking. Hopefully I'll be starting that in a week or two. After that I'll be tea total completely. I can't wait and I'm keeping my eyes on that prize. That will be the ultimate achievement as I will be in a mental state that I have never ever experienced since I was 14.
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