Rehab views
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 2
Rehab views
Hi, i have been browsing g your forum and found it very insightful. I need help/advice.
I have a husband that is alcohol
dependent. We have seen gp who said if he stopped drinking suddenly he could die. He started a community help group where they call every week and started on a withdrawal program. I’m not sure that this is working as he could say whatever he wants (ie not the truth) to how much he is drinking. Also if he does have a bad week they just say that’s ok. It’s also been around 8 weeks so far. He is on his own in the house and could help himself to whatever. I want him to go to rehab. Does anyone have any experience of private rehab in the uk?
I have a husband that is alcohol
dependent. We have seen gp who said if he stopped drinking suddenly he could die. He started a community help group where they call every week and started on a withdrawal program. I’m not sure that this is working as he could say whatever he wants (ie not the truth) to how much he is drinking. Also if he does have a bad week they just say that’s ok. It’s also been around 8 weeks so far. He is on his own in the house and could help himself to whatever. I want him to go to rehab. Does anyone have any experience of private rehab in the uk?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I dont have experience with private rehab in the UK. I do however have experience with alcohol misuse, abuse and the like.
I am really sorry for what brings you here. Its terribly hard to watch someone we love struggle with an addiction. We want to help. We want the best for them. That being said, there really is nothing that YOU can do. Your husband will have to come to terms with his situation and seek the proper treatment. Does he want to be sober? Are you asking these questions for him? Is he seeking out detox and rehab? Its understandable how you want him to be in a rehab, but does he want to be in rehab? If not, then I think you might be spinning your wheels on this.
There is a friends and family section here offering support for people who have loved ones suffering from addiction. Tools and solutions to help YOU. I do hope your husband comes around to freeing himself from his addiction. Life is beautiful.
I am really sorry for what brings you here. Its terribly hard to watch someone we love struggle with an addiction. We want to help. We want the best for them. That being said, there really is nothing that YOU can do. Your husband will have to come to terms with his situation and seek the proper treatment. Does he want to be sober? Are you asking these questions for him? Is he seeking out detox and rehab? Its understandable how you want him to be in a rehab, but does he want to be in rehab? If not, then I think you might be spinning your wheels on this.
There is a friends and family section here offering support for people who have loved ones suffering from addiction. Tools and solutions to help YOU. I do hope your husband comes around to freeing himself from his addiction. Life is beautiful.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Mizz makes good points. And just to clarify - a medical Detox is for getting off the alcohol safely if he is drinking a lot. It takes about a week and is often done in the hospital, a detox facility, or even a rehab. However, the purpose of rehab is a longer term program (30-90 days) to help the individual stay sober and learn how to live without alcohol. Inpatient (where they live on site) is the best because then they cannot drink/use.
As Mizz stated, the person has to WANT to get help or it will do no good and they will generally drink/use again.
As Mizz stated, the person has to WANT to get help or it will do no good and they will generally drink/use again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi Dramaqueen22. I hope you are safe and welcome to SR.
With respect, that "group" that your husband interacts with sounds suspiciously like something he just concocted in his head, or, more charitably, two or more fellow alcoholics, all of whom want to keep drinking and think the rest of us are stupid. Collectively all of us here on SR have seen or heard it all when it comes to recovery methods and issues and I don't think we've heard of that particular method. But I could be wrong.
I hope your husband gets some real help and soon. In the mean time, all you can do is make sure there are clear paths to the exits. Please stay safe and take care of yourself.
With respect, that "group" that your husband interacts with sounds suspiciously like something he just concocted in his head, or, more charitably, two or more fellow alcoholics, all of whom want to keep drinking and think the rest of us are stupid. Collectively all of us here on SR have seen or heard it all when it comes to recovery methods and issues and I don't think we've heard of that particular method. But I could be wrong.
I hope your husband gets some real help and soon. In the mean time, all you can do is make sure there are clear paths to the exits. Please stay safe and take care of yourself.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome, you will find lots of support here.
I think the important question is does your husband want to stop drinking and remain sober? If not, there is very little you can do to help. It is possible that stopping alcohol abruptly can cause serious withdrawals and possibly death. However, weaning off alcohol slowly is almost always impossible for us alcoholics. Stopping cold -turkey is really much easier.
I hope your husband seeks support for himself.
I think the important question is does your husband want to stop drinking and remain sober? If not, there is very little you can do to help. It is possible that stopping alcohol abruptly can cause serious withdrawals and possibly death. However, weaning off alcohol slowly is almost always impossible for us alcoholics. Stopping cold -turkey is really much easier.
I hope your husband seeks support for himself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome DramaQueen 
I think it would be hard to force someone to rehab if they don’t want to go, and hard for rehab to help if they don’t want to be there.
Its obvious you’re scared and that right now you don’t have much trust in what he’s telling you. only you can know if this is a fair call or if your fear is calling the shots?
to be fair there are organisations in the UK, and elsewhere, that do run along these lines.
D
I think it would be hard to force someone to rehab if they don’t want to go, and hard for rehab to help if they don’t want to be there.
Its obvious you’re scared and that right now you don’t have much trust in what he’s telling you. only you can know if this is a fair call or if your fear is calling the shots?
Originally Posted by Surrendered19 
Hi Dramaqueen22. I hope you are safe and welcome to SR.
With respect, that "group" that your husband interacts with sounds suspiciously like something he just concocted in his head, or, more charitably, two or more fellow alcoholics, all of whom want to keep drinking and think the rest of us are stupid. Collectively all of us here on SR have seen or heard it all when it comes to recovery methods and issues and I don't think we've heard of that particular method. But I could be wrong.
I hope your husband gets some real help and soon. In the mean time, all you can do is make sure there are clear paths to the exits. Please stay safe and take care of yourself.
With respect, that "group" that your husband interacts with sounds suspiciously like something he just concocted in his head, or, more charitably, two or more fellow alcoholics, all of whom want to keep drinking and think the rest of us are stupid. Collectively all of us here on SR have seen or heard it all when it comes to recovery methods and issues and I don't think we've heard of that particular method. But I could be wrong.
I hope your husband gets some real help and soon. In the mean time, all you can do is make sure there are clear paths to the exits. Please stay safe and take care of yourself.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Well, I'm not in the UK - but I know some UK members in the past have talked about group based approaches similar to this.
Maybe not 'drinking's ok', but 'don't beat yourself up if you have'.
Maybe other members can share some personal experience, if it helps the OP.
D
Maybe not 'drinking's ok', but 'don't beat yourself up if you have'.
Maybe other members can share some personal experience, if it helps the OP.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
Hi Dramaqueen22. I hope you are safe and welcome to SR.
With respect, that "group" that your husband interacts with sounds suspiciously like something he just concocted in his head.
With respect, that "group" that your husband interacts with sounds suspiciously like something he just concocted in his head.
thanks for all your replies - it really helps
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
In the UK there is a process for alcohol addiction.
It usually starts with community help - so GP and addiction nurse type service. This is mostly done at home and involves tapering off alcohol - so reducing the amount someone drinks to ensure it is safe and minimises the risk of seizures.
This is usually a community addiction service who will then be in contact with the patient to monitor progress.
It is possible in some areas in the UK to do a home detox where the drugs to manage alcohol withdrawal are given at home by a GP or the hospital.
If this does not work then a patient may progress to rehab.
Some areas in the UK fund the rehab cost, others don't. So depends where you live and is done case by case.
In my experience, unless an alcoholic wants to be sober, rehab will not work.
I have first hand experience of someone who is now on their 6th rehab.
He each rehab has cost £6000 upwards.
Added together that is a lot of money.
Each time he lied to the support workers, didn't take it seriously and was drinking again around 3 days after leaving.
Rehab is not a magic wand.
It's not a cure all.
AA on the other hand is free.
Ala-non is free.
Has he tried any of these before you pay for rehab?
Just thinking AA might help.
Its not uncommon for some alcoholics to say they didn't need rehab, they just needed AA.
Even in private rehab, patients can say things that they think the healthcare professional wants to hear. Its just in a different setting and often an expensive one too.
I hope you figure it out.
I wish you the best xx
It usually starts with community help - so GP and addiction nurse type service. This is mostly done at home and involves tapering off alcohol - so reducing the amount someone drinks to ensure it is safe and minimises the risk of seizures.
This is usually a community addiction service who will then be in contact with the patient to monitor progress.
It is possible in some areas in the UK to do a home detox where the drugs to manage alcohol withdrawal are given at home by a GP or the hospital.
If this does not work then a patient may progress to rehab.
Some areas in the UK fund the rehab cost, others don't. So depends where you live and is done case by case.
In my experience, unless an alcoholic wants to be sober, rehab will not work.
I have first hand experience of someone who is now on their 6th rehab.
He each rehab has cost £6000 upwards.
Added together that is a lot of money.
Each time he lied to the support workers, didn't take it seriously and was drinking again around 3 days after leaving.
Rehab is not a magic wand.
It's not a cure all.
AA on the other hand is free.
Ala-non is free.
Has he tried any of these before you pay for rehab?
Just thinking AA might help.
Its not uncommon for some alcoholics to say they didn't need rehab, they just needed AA.
Even in private rehab, patients can say things that they think the healthcare professional wants to hear. Its just in a different setting and often an expensive one too.
I hope you figure it out.
I wish you the best xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Hi Dramaqueen,
I have experience of community support groups and inpatient rehab in the UK and at over three years sober am making good progress with recovery. As others have said, your husband has to truly want sobriety first before anything will work. If he is committed though you can make a plan. This could include:
- Community support at first and AA or similar attendance as well, if this fails referral to inpatient rehab
- An inpatient stay of 3 to 6 weeks including AA or similar inside
- Intensive aftercare for 6 months on coming out, including AA or similar
- Ongoing therapy support all the way through this process and out the other side, preferably with a one-on-one care worker
All of this is expensive, time consuming and requires major life changes and commitment. I note that even with three years completely alcohol free I still call my care worker to check in every couple of months and am active here on SR almost every day. I also have the regular support of the local mental health team when needed for my dual diagnosis. Is it worth it? Certainly yes!
Feel free to message me if you would like any more specifics. Good luck. Forwards.
I have experience of community support groups and inpatient rehab in the UK and at over three years sober am making good progress with recovery. As others have said, your husband has to truly want sobriety first before anything will work. If he is committed though you can make a plan. This could include:
- Community support at first and AA or similar attendance as well, if this fails referral to inpatient rehab
- An inpatient stay of 3 to 6 weeks including AA or similar inside
- Intensive aftercare for 6 months on coming out, including AA or similar
- Ongoing therapy support all the way through this process and out the other side, preferably with a one-on-one care worker
All of this is expensive, time consuming and requires major life changes and commitment. I note that even with three years completely alcohol free I still call my care worker to check in every couple of months and am active here on SR almost every day. I also have the regular support of the local mental health team when needed for my dual diagnosis. Is it worth it? Certainly yes!
Feel free to message me if you would like any more specifics. Good luck. Forwards.
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