doggonecarl

Sober people aren't immune to pain and stress. How do they deal with it? They endure it. And that's what you are going to have to learn. Not every discomforting feeling or situation has to run from. Escaped. How do you deal with it? You endure, you cope, you accept.

You don't drink.

Hodd

^ 42 is super young, Be123. You’ve got decades and decades of good stuff to come. What an inspiring post 👍

Jillian2563

I don’t think there’s a normal amount of failed attempts - everyone is different. Some people can get it after 1-2 tries and some people, like me, get it after 10 years of trying. I never thought I would be sober long term but I finally had enough. My mental health was declining rapidly.

MrPL

Hi Contella - like everyone already said there’s no such thing as a definite number.

I think the only thing I can add is that trying in the same way that resulted in failure before will result in failure again.

So my advice is to take the drive you have towards quitting and putting into a different type of solution.

This forum is definitely amazing, but there are other solutions out there too. You ll find one that works for you.

My best wishes

Mr P

Hevyn

Hi Contella. I'm so glad you're here with us.
You have so many great responses, I'll just add that I tried numerous times - and it kept getting harder. I'd known for years I didn't drink like a normal person, but I kept going until I was drinking 24/7. It didn't need to come to that, but maybe in my case it had to. I had to be shown my life was coming to an end if I continued. I guess I needed further proof that there would never be any control, and each time I drank I put myself in danger. I wanted to live - and to be aware - not numb & stupid.
You can get free!

Purplrks3647

Hi Contella ~ I can't count how many attempts I had, but I'd like to say we learn something each time. You are here trying again, which means not giving up and that's what matters

Hope you're doing ok.

calmself

I relapsed 110 times in 2021 lol. Don't beat yourself up, just stay sober today. If you feel anxious and uncomfortable at wine o clock, eat your favorite food, watch TV or do whatever you want, anything other than drinking. Tomorrow will be easier.

Hawkeye13

How are things Contella?

Mizz

Contella!
Sobriety is not linear for most people. I've struggled with alcohol for a decade. Actually, I've always had issues with it but it didn't become a GLARINGLY obvious problem until I was in my later 20's. Even then, I was for certain that I could control the issues or whatever it is we think we can do? Its all a learning process. A process that is hard to come to terms with and even harder to learn from.

Within the decade of really "trying" to get sober I became a serial relapser. Almost one year sober then relapse. Live in the relapse for some time then get sober again for almost a year. Relapse. Then .....This last time....I tried to quit more times than I can even count. I was such a mess and it was really really obvious that I needed to quit. I finally put it down and started the sober journey again. So, I encourage you to continue to quit. No matter what. Keep trying. Keep going. Do not be defeated. You will get sober. You will.