My parents would be upset at first but in the long run they'd be better off
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
I nearly lost my daughter to suicide 11 years ago. Worst case of depression I have ever witnessed. Took 7 ECT treatments, the right med cocktail, and plenty of work on her part. She recovered. She went to grad school and became a therapist. Go figure, yet it makes perfect sense. She now works at the VA with addictions, PTSD, etc.
One of the fundamental principles in Buddhism is impermanence. Yes, we are impermanent, but so also all phenomena. Things change. Always. And we have a part in that change. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No being is "fixed" by oblivion. I recently read a piece by a psychoanalyst who linked addiction and suicide as two ways of seeking the same thing - oblivion. The precursor is fear, and the fear that things are permanent. That's what paralyzed my daughter. She thought that the rest of her life was cast. It wasn't. She thought she was alone. She wasn't.
There are people who have been through the same or worse who are willing to help. You must be willing to be helped. It takes courage. I just noticed you have over 2,400 posts here. That's courageous.
Ten years ago I wanted to die. My daughter got me help and now each day is better than the last. Things change if we allow them to change.
Warren
One of the fundamental principles in Buddhism is impermanence. Yes, we are impermanent, but so also all phenomena. Things change. Always. And we have a part in that change. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No being is "fixed" by oblivion. I recently read a piece by a psychoanalyst who linked addiction and suicide as two ways of seeking the same thing - oblivion. The precursor is fear, and the fear that things are permanent. That's what paralyzed my daughter. She thought that the rest of her life was cast. It wasn't. She thought she was alone. She wasn't.
There are people who have been through the same or worse who are willing to help. You must be willing to be helped. It takes courage. I just noticed you have over 2,400 posts here. That's courageous.
Ten years ago I wanted to die. My daughter got me help and now each day is better than the last. Things change if we allow them to change.
Warren
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Your parents would not be better off without you. They would grieve and wonder and blame themselves forever. 
Please don't hurt yourself. You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.
Please don't hurt yourself. You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,955
Originally Posted by warrens 
I nearly lost my daughter to suicide 11 years ago. Worst case of depression I have ever witnessed. Took 7 ECT treatments, the right med cocktail, and plenty of work on her part. She recovered. She went to grad school and became a therapist. Go figure, yet it makes perfect sense. She now works at the VA with addictions, PTSD, etc.
One of the fundamental principles in Buddhism is impermanence. Yes, we are impermanent, but so also all phenomena. Things change. Always. And we have a part in that change. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No being is "fixed" by oblivion. I recently read a piece by a psychoanalyst who linked addiction and suicide as two ways of seeking the same thing - oblivion. The precursor is fear, and the fear that things are permanent. That's what paralyzed my daughter. She thought that the rest of her life was cast. It wasn't. She thought she was alone. She wasn't.
There are people who have been through the same or worse who are willing to help. You must be willing to be helped. It takes courage. I just noticed you have over 2,400 posts here. That's courageous.
Ten years ago I wanted to die. My daughter got me help and now each day is better than the last. Things change if we allow them to change.
Warren
One of the fundamental principles in Buddhism is impermanence. Yes, we are impermanent, but so also all phenomena. Things change. Always. And we have a part in that change. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No being is "fixed" by oblivion. I recently read a piece by a psychoanalyst who linked addiction and suicide as two ways of seeking the same thing - oblivion. The precursor is fear, and the fear that things are permanent. That's what paralyzed my daughter. She thought that the rest of her life was cast. It wasn't. She thought she was alone. She wasn't.
There are people who have been through the same or worse who are willing to help. You must be willing to be helped. It takes courage. I just noticed you have over 2,400 posts here. That's courageous.
Ten years ago I wanted to die. My daughter got me help and now each day is better than the last. Things change if we allow them to change.
Warren
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 513
Suicide is like squeezing the whole thing tighter, you know? Instead of just letting it go and moving toward freedom. It's the freedom impulse of someone who only knows the cage and the drama, the various roles that affirm each other, the chemicals that hold the show in place. Of course the tendency is to push the play to its conclusion so we can exit the theater. And I think in some childish way, we mistake that ending or departure for death. But there are also happy endings.
I think letting go of the alcohol, the rancor, the relations, the roles, moving into the unknown. Then I think there is a little taste of freedom to be had in this life.
I think letting go of the alcohol, the rancor, the relations, the roles, moving into the unknown. Then I think there is a little taste of freedom to be had in this life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,516
Dear FF,
Please read Warren's post. xx
And glad to see you s
Please read Warren's post. xx
And glad to see you
s
Originally Posted by warrens
I nearly lost my daughter to suicide 11 years ago. Worst case of depression I have ever witnessed. Took 7 ECT treatments, the right med cocktail, and plenty of work on her part. She recovered. She went to grad school and became a therapist. Go figure, yet it makes perfect sense. She now works at the VA with addictions, PTSD, etc.
One of the fundamental principles in Buddhism is impermanence. Yes, we are impermanent, but so also all phenomena. Things change. Always. And we have a part in that change. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No being is "fixed" by oblivion. I recently read a piece by a psychoanalyst who linked addiction and suicide as two ways of seeking the same thing - oblivion. The precursor is fear, and the fear that things are permanent. That's what paralyzed my daughter. She thought that the rest of her life was cast. It wasn't. She thought she was alone. She wasn't.
There are people who have been through the same or worse who are willing to help. You must be willing to be helped. It takes courage. I just noticed you have over 2,400 posts here. That's courageous.
Ten years ago I wanted to die. My daughter got me help and now each day is better than the last. Things change if we allow them to change.
Warren
One of the fundamental principles in Buddhism is impermanence. Yes, we are impermanent, but so also all phenomena. Things change. Always. And we have a part in that change. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No being is "fixed" by oblivion. I recently read a piece by a psychoanalyst who linked addiction and suicide as two ways of seeking the same thing - oblivion. The precursor is fear, and the fear that things are permanent. That's what paralyzed my daughter. She thought that the rest of her life was cast. It wasn't. She thought she was alone. She wasn't.
There are people who have been through the same or worse who are willing to help. You must be willing to be helped. It takes courage. I just noticed you have over 2,400 posts here. That's courageous.
Ten years ago I wanted to die. My daughter got me help and now each day is better than the last. Things change if we allow them to change.
Warren
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,486
Freedom, so happy to see you here. Yes alcohol is a depressant. It made me feel far more depressed, I just thought it was how my life was going to be. Very ignorant on my part. Please keep coming here to check in and vent or express whatever you need to. Also talk with your parents, I am sure they care and would do anything to help you.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by freedomfries
Feeling a bit better today. Alcohol does not mix with depression. Day 1 today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,790
Originally Posted by warrens
I nearly lost my daughter to suicide 11 years ago. Worst case of depression I have ever witnessed. Took 7 ECT treatments, the right med cocktail, and plenty of work on her part. She recovered. She went to grad school and became a therapist. Go figure, yet it makes perfect sense. She now works at the VA with addictions, PTSD, etc.
One of the fundamental principles in Buddhism is impermanence. Yes, we are impermanent, but so also all phenomena. Things change. Always. And we have a part in that change. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No being is "fixed" by oblivion. I recently read a piece by a psychoanalyst who linked addiction and suicide as two ways of seeking the same thing - oblivion. The precursor is fear, and the fear that things are permanent. That's what paralyzed my daughter. She thought that the rest of her life was cast. It wasn't. She thought she was alone. She wasn't.
There are people who have been through the same or worse who are willing to help. You must be willing to be helped. It takes courage. I just noticed you have over 2,400 posts here. That's courageous.
Ten years ago I wanted to die. My daughter got me help and now each day is better than the last. Things change if we allow them to change.
Warren
One of the fundamental principles in Buddhism is impermanence. Yes, we are impermanent, but so also all phenomena. Things change. Always. And we have a part in that change. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No being is "fixed" by oblivion. I recently read a piece by a psychoanalyst who linked addiction and suicide as two ways of seeking the same thing - oblivion. The precursor is fear, and the fear that things are permanent. That's what paralyzed my daughter. She thought that the rest of her life was cast. It wasn't. She thought she was alone. She wasn't.
There are people who have been through the same or worse who are willing to help. You must be willing to be helped. It takes courage. I just noticed you have over 2,400 posts here. That's courageous.
Ten years ago I wanted to die. My daughter got me help and now each day is better than the last. Things change if we allow them to change.
Warren
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Hi FF, so glad you are back at it on day 1! I know day 1s are tough, but at least it’s not another day to add to your drinking days!! I have no idea what my drinking days number would be it would probably be 30,000 or something even higher than that. Take comfort that you’re adding to the alcohol free days ❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
Posts: 3,040
Freedomfries, so glad you're feeling better, I made the mistake years ago mixing my antidepressants that I took after having my baby with alcohol and it sent me spiralling downwards, give yourself some self love you deserve to, I hope you have a lovely day, we are all cheering for you x
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