CuteNGayYay

Hello all just creating a post. I’m not new here but haven’t been in a while. Like many, I’ve tried SEVERAL times to get sober. I lost my Mom in June to cancer after her 2 year long fight with cancer and being her fulltime caregiver. Ive been a mess since. Even when I’m not drinking. Also lost my Dad 2 years before that to cancer. It was a literal back to back blow to the heart. Ive had a couple of one night or weekend benders since. One was a week. (That used to be my norm) With all of this going on my older siblings are selling the house I live in and shared with my Mom and we all grew up in soon. New Years I slipped and got a gash near my eye and a lovely chipped front tooth to start the year on a drunken night alone. I’m just very scared, overwhelmed , and feel very alone. I really want this to be the beginning of a new life for me and make my parents proud. I really will have no place to come back to anymore. So this NEEDS to stick this time. My loneliness and depression has been worse and that’s always been my reason to start drinking. I’m lucky I have a car. And will have money. I just need to be the sober me so I can really thrive. This new wave of Omicron isn’t helping. I do use THC here and there for nighttime anxiety but never have an issue with it for whatever reason. I just need alcohol out of life. Anywho just wanted to post and will probably copy and paste this in the January group. If there are any So Cali people looking for sober friends feel free to add me. Msg me.

Dee74

welcome back

D

Hevyn

CuteNGay - I'm so glad to see you back here. I'm very sorry for the heartache & suffering you've been through.
It took me a long time to learn that drinking just adds to our misery after a while. It seems like a friend, a comforter, but it turns on us quickly.
You sound motivated - this can be the time you get free.
Here's to a new and better life.

least

Welcome back! Glad you're giving it another go.

CuteNGayYay

Hello all. Thanks for the welcome. Dee , Least good to see ya. And of course Hevyn, I always love your supportive messages. I’m hoping this is the time

Anna

It's really good to see you back. I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother and your dad, too. That's really tough.

I'm glad you're here and ready to make this work.

Steely

Hey, CuteNGay, I'm really glad to see you back. 🌈

Surrendered19

Hi CNGY. I remember you and am glad you are back. You've been through so much and I am sorry for your pain. As you find your new path without your parents in your life and move away from your childhood home, you will undoubtedly feel like you are on an entirely unexplored road. In many ways you will be. I submit to you that to make your best way on that new road, you have to sober.

It sounds like you are fortunate and that your family situation will mean that you are financially comfortable. But that could be temporary if you flush it all down the drain drinking. So many awful things can and do happen when we drink.

Honor your good fortune, your Mom and Dad and your family by living the very best way you can, and I know you'll agree that means living a sober life.

On a lighter note, your username is one of the best on SR, in my humble opinion!!!

CuteNGayYay

Yes surrendered. I agree with your entire reply. Thank you.

Icandothis2013

I am SO glad to see you back here and sorry for your loss ! Come and join me.. I’m on Day 16 and already things are looking up ! Stick with it my friend. We can do this ! I find posting every day here helps and keeps me accountable! Onwards !

VikingGF

Welcome back, Cute! 4 days is a great start, you can do it all. So sorry for your losses, but the best you can do now is honor your parents with sobriety and be the best you can be. Onward.

DriGuy

Exactly right! While all that other crap in our lives is painful and disheartening, alcohol out of our life is at least one less thing to add to the misery. And that "one less thing" in this case, is a huge thing. Too often, we treat alcohol as an escape, rather than as a problem. Addiction is always there through good times and bad, but it's always a problem independent of those other factors. But even while it exists independently, it affects those other things that were going to happen anyway, by making them even worse.

dustyfox

Hi CuteNGay -so sorry for the loss of your Mum and Dad, it's a terrible shock for you to lose both your parents like that. Sounds like you did an amazing job caring for them too. You should make this a year all about YOU, Build a life for yourself, be kind to yourself, give yourself the gift of sobriety - of self care, You have some money coming to you, don't blow it, look ahead and believe in yourself. 2022 Your year! All good things will come to you.

Outonthetiles

CnGY, sorry about your mom.

CuteNGayYay

Thank you all for the very kind replies. Means a lot. I will be revisiting some of them often. Hi OOTT. Nice to see u. Hope you’re well

Hevyn

Thinking of you, CuteNGay.

CuteNGayYay

Starting over. I wish I could drink my way to my parents.

Purplrks3647

Welcome back CNGY ~ So sorry to hear about your parents

It took me multiple attempts too, so don't give up ~ Good to see ya!

Triggered

Hi CNG,

Just want to echo what everyones been saying. Heartfelt condolences on your loss. Now more than ever it's time to look forward with a clear head and a robust plan. Addicts really cant do that with alcohol, sooner or later the addiction is all consuming. Your future self will have so much comfort in the fact that you made the right choices right now.

adair

I lost my father last year and the loss rolls around inside me something fierce. Though I was not sober while he was alive, I dedicate my current attempt for lasting sobriety to him.

I personally believe that death is not final and we all see each other again, one way or another, so I don't see my efforts as pointless even though he's no longer around to witness my battles and ever mounting string of victories in person.

When we do see each other again, I want to be able to stand tall before him in the knowledge that I finally became the person I am capable of being, free from chemical assistance. I still want to make him proud.

Hugs and heaps of dark chocolate (or whatever your favorite guilty pleasure is).