MaximusD

Well, I am back! Just coming off of a pretty bad hangover and days long binge of sleeping a lot and being a bad husband/father. I am realizing that I am triggered around holidays and anytime there are changes in the schedule. Don't remember a lot about any of the holidays. Really looking forward to ringing in next new years with a year under my belt. I keep saying it but if I don't stick this quit I will lose everything. Not sure how much more the wife can take. Also, for the first time I realized that I was pretty depressed. I have always thought I just had anxiety. I get depressed coming off a drinking binge and then it usually goes away but I think this time it is sticking around. I have a message out to my doctor to discuss medications etc. Just about 36 hours in and still feeling the hangover but I know I will feel better soon!

Dee74

I'm glad you made it back Max

D

Hodd

I’m sorry to be reading this, Max. I thought you’d nailed this. Definitely speak to your doctor. I, and I’d imagine lots of us, get flustered by changes in routine. Think about some big changes as that can’t have been a pleasant holiday period.

5upersonic

Hi Max, alcohol can only compound feelings of depression and anxiety, and yet it cruelly tricks us into thinking the only way to feel a little better each day is to drink. 36 hours in is tough but your body is still processing the toxins as your body cleanses. Stick with it and I'm sure you'll start to reap the rewards of sobriety soon.

Gabe1980

I'm glad you are back too Max....one day at a time and keep focused on what you want to achieve. Anxiety and depression are two sides of the same coin for me and they do start to get better.

Just think of the freedom that awaits!!

Triggered

Hi Max....good to see you posting. Holidays are always tricky and any change for me is always a challenge. I need to be prepared for change even if I cant see it coming. Read the forum, develop a plan, explore different ways of resisting urges. Theres plenty of help and advice on here, just find what works for you. Also, I wouldnt worry too much about next year, I'd be more focused on the present if I were you. Next year will arrive all too quickly, just think on stringing manageable goals together at a time. Keep posting. The daily thread helps to kep me accountable each day, maybe you'd like to try that?

Surrendered19

Good to hear from you Max. Make 2022 the year you stopped fighting. Unlace the gloves, admit booze won, and just walk away. Sounds hokey and overly simplistic, but it is that simple.

Don't lose your family over booze. I lost my spouse because of my drinking 10 years ago and I struggle with terrible grief over losing her to this very day.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

MaximusD

Thank you everyone for your replies. I have been through this so many times before. The challenge begins in the weeks after the newness wears off. I am going to keep coming here to renew my commitment. Surrendered, what you say really hits hard and is a great reminder of what I am actually playing with when I choose to drink.

SoberJohn

Glad you're back Max!

MaximusD

Had a close call yesterday that I posted about. So glad I resisted as it really did invigorate me. Today I had a brief craving at the market but just dismissed it. Finally got my appetite to return to normal after 3 days sober! Usually it doesn't take this long. My mental health is improving and usually it doesn't take this long either. This last binge episode really did a number on me. Day 4 and focusing on grattitude. If you are having trouble sleeping I highly reccomend the calm app.

advbike

Glad you're back, Max. Sometimes we just get to the point where it is adding nothing and taking away a lot.

I had no more relapses left in me and after a week sober, decided I was done. Using AVRT I have been able to finally disassociate/create separation from that stupid lizard brain once and for all. I tell it to eff-off it sends an urge over to my AV. I'm at 4 weeks and it has been surprisingly easy this time, probably because I know I'm done and it does too! Too many other issues that need my attention, lol.

You can do it. Write down all that you stand to lose, the problems it causes, etc. Post it on your mirror. Read it every morning.