MeSober77

I wish I could say that it's all in the past now but with this permanent damage in memory, visuospatial skills, time- awareness and diminished feeling of reality, and everlasting mist in my head, it's present as hell.
It's a process.. learning to live with the new me.. I have tons of interesse, but I can't remember a lot. It sucks.
At my job they are astonished about my new never ending enthousiasm and energy and commitment, but what they don't know is that I take notes for the simplest things and study them over and over..
Driving a car. Impossible.
Still something with the vision, which makes it difficult to make fine art stuff.
It haunts me in my dreams, all the trauma I caused, and the consequences
It makes me nervous and insecure. Makes me sometimes want to quit my life here and go living on a mountain...
And I was always nervous and insecure in the first place...

The good thing.. I do móre effort than my colleague so in the end I score better results....
I'm in a bubble where hurting me has become much more difficult, and where I absorb less of other's BS
I don't complain a lot
I'm almost never bored
My finances are waaaaaay better
I am néver late
No stress for wondering if I could by pregnant due to irresponsible timing
I do a great contribution in my AA group since I take the steps serious and made a profound study. They even asked me for chairman (but I'm gonna wait another year) and I'm guiding a new member.
I don't feel so alone anymore. I'm ok with being a bit a loner.
I got to sudoku level 7.

All the best to all of you and stay away from that malicious nerve poison

Ps in the meanwhile I tried Keto..What a disaster that was!! Now I'm just doing normal, with extra antioxidants and omega 3 etc
Have a wonderful powerful year!!!!

❤

Surrendered19

Awesome update MeSober77!!!

CBS62

Sober77 congrats on 18 months! I have PAWS too. I am just over a year sober. Try our PAWS thread for support and venting! https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7725691 (For those tortured by PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and who fear they might go mad Part 4)

Steely

Your post inspired me MeSober77.

Thank you.

And congratulations.

Dee74

I’m sorry you’re still experiencing difficulties but I hope they dissipate even more in the coming year, MeSober.

Congratulations on 18 months

Steely

Are you sure it's ARBD MeSober? Maybe PAWS only which will improve with time. Have you had neuropsych testing done to confirm ARBD?

Robbie64

Congratulations on 18 months MeSober. Hopefully whatever it is that is causing your memory problems / concentration can clear up at some point.

MeSober77

Time will tell.
I know what I know and I know only Time can be a cure.
Thanks for the support and positive thinking.
I keep you posted!

ps thanks for the suggestion of the PAWS forum but it's too crowdy there.

Blessings to all you Sober Warriors