dustyfox

I am just wondering, and I cant answer this myself because the longest I ever went without a drink was a year, and then I relapsed and it took me about two years to stop again. ( I am now about 7 months sober) I am wondering how long before the thought of drinking, the desire for a drink, just is not there?
When I gave up smoking about 10 years ago it probably took two, even three years before I really could go for months at a time without thinking about smoking, and now 10 years later it is just a non issue.
There are no actual physiological cravings for alcohol, I just am triggered into thinking about it, and then have a desire for a drink. I know I am not going to drink, but I wish I didn't want to - I wish I didn't think about it. I am not disgusted by alcohol in the way I am disgusted by the smell of cigarettes and so as of yet it does not repel me.
I am interested to know from those that are a long time sober - just how long those thoughts and desires last - when do they fade right into the background.

Dee74

I can only speak for myself but the visceral cravings gave way to easily dismissed daydream 'wouldn't it be nice' thoughts in the first year....I'd be guessing but by year 3 I think I was pretty much untroubled by drinking thoughts.

D

Patcha

I'm 6 months and I don't think about it. However, I am very careful to avoid drinking related cues and triggers. Our brains are hardwired to seek out substances we chronically overuse, compelling us to obsess about them and seek them out. It was once an evolutionary advantage but for those of us with addiction issues, it's become a maladaptation. I remind myself of that when I start thinking that x might taste/feel good. It's a physical survival strategy that is no longer necessary in the modern world. It will take time for that response to fade into the background. Sometimes more time, sometimes less. Everyone is different. Keep turning away from the thoughts, push them away, don't follow them or engage. The practice of mindfulness will help with that.

least

I'd have to say between one and two years I seem to have lost the thoughts of drinking. The only time I think about it now are the thoughts I have of gratitude that I don't drink anymore.

MissPerfumado

I was disgusted by alcohol when I quit. The memory of the taste of white wine is unpleasant to me. I immediately associate it with a dull ache in my liver. Then I think about feeling nauseous, foggy-headed and dry-mouthed. Then I feel shame and regret. The time it takes for all of those thoughts and sensations to run through me is probably less than a second.

I wonder if you could make some simple associations with drinking - even if right now they are not automatic, they could help you connect drinking with horrible things not pleasure.

I did still think about alcohol a lot for the first 18 months or so. I remember going on a long trip about 18 months' sober and not thinking about alcohol at all for most of that trip, though in large part I still identified as a recovering alcoholic. By Year 3, it had ceased to be a big part of my identity. I was just someone who didn't drink and would never drink again. I feel like I had integrated sobriety by then.

Anna

Dustyfox, I think for me, I had to find ways to bring peace and joy to my life. I had to find things to do that I enjoyed. Those were things that helped me to stop thinking about drinking. It took more than a year, but sometime during the second year, things began to fall into place.

Mags1

Dustyfox, for me it took me less than a year for the cravings to go though I had fanciful thoughts that would pop into my head now and again. My resolve to be a non drinker was cemented between 2 and 3 years.

Kaily

Everyone is different. I was self medicating loneliness and mental health issues with alcohol so when things get bad I still crave my medicine, such as it was.

At 3 years I have noted that these episodes are far less frequent but do sometimes come in clusters. I will have a few bad weeks with unbearable cravings then they disappear as quickly as they came.

When I do crave it is never for a glass of wine, it is always oblivion. I want the nothingness not the actual drink.

Steely

I think it's different for everyone Dusty. I'm now 2 years sober and it rarely arises for me now, but (also) had a period of 5 years where I was not fully convinced that I could never drink again. Somewhere, in the back of my mind I harboured the thought that I would be able to drink moderately. It didn't work.

I had a time not long ago where had overwhelming compulsion, but on playing the tape knew the disaster that awaited me. There is not a thought or feeling about alcohol that could possibly be worse than the actuality of drinking. For me, that is.

Now, I couldn't give a nick if I have thoughts of escape, I just let it play out, and try work on ways to deal with the way I feel, adaptively, as Patcha points out; and adult Steely emerges sober.

The thought of drinking now repulses me. I know what it has done to me and am now willing to face whatever discomfort I might be feeling in the knowledge it will pass, and I would have made a further leap forward.

And then I will say ommmm. Grateful ommmm.

Hodd

I still get mini cravings after (nearly) 3 years, but these are tiny compared to the monster cravings of my drinking days. It did take a good few months for the cravings to start fading. It’s also a question of habit. When I first quit, I’d do my daily shop and on auto pilot head straight for the booze section. That probably didn’t help my cravings.

When you think how long we’ve drank, in my case 15 years or so heavily, a few months to stop craving is pretty good going. You need to keep yourself occupied and then realise that you’ve too much to lose by drinking again.

5upersonic

Reading with interest. I went over 11 months sober, didn't quite make the year. Looking back the warning signs were there for some time leading up to me drinking again. Things were going well and I started questioning my sobriety, telling myself I'd done my time, learnt my lesson, and could return a moderate drinker. It was a fantasy. I went straight back to heavy daily drinking from the very first glass. Since then I've lost my marriage, and because I've neglected my business I stand to lose my livelihood and my home. And I've lost years of my life, my children's lives, and wasted so much more. And it all leads back to my drinking. If I'd never picked up that first glass again, or if I'd come back to SR and tightened up my plan, things could and most likely would have been very different.

brighterday1234

For me once I became spiritually fit 🙏

Surrendered19

2 years in, I don't think about drinking very much. But it definitely happens. I think I'll always think about taking a drink, but after this much time, the thoughts are sort of light and insubstantial. Like "Gosh, I wish I would win the lottery." Easily dismissed daydream in a moment and they do not trouble me.

But, Steely's history - 5 years sober and then pick up again - is one that is so common, and I know it can happen to me too.

My plan is that if my drinking thoughts EVER start to morph into more substantial urges or my whiny AV gets more intense, I will do whatever I have to do to stay sober. Take some sick time. Get a sober buddy to bunk with me for a few nights. Most importantly, get on SR and stay on SR and tell you all that I need help. Talk it through. Think it through.

I hope that never happens to me, but I'm ready.

Bonnefond87

It's a difficult time of year also - we are bombarded with positive messages about alcohol constantly . I, for one am very susceptible and although I am at four years plus it can be hard. But we are doing it - we are both not putting that toxic liquid in our bodies -please be proud of yourself for fighting and winning.

advbike

Took about 6 months for the cravings to go, then just occasional thoughts from time to time, when under stress. I had amazing adventures in the first few years of sobriety. But at 3+ years things were piling up and I was faced with some tough decisions in my personal life and I picked up a glass of wine, which led me back into my pattern of regular but not heavy use, until I got back here. At the time I picked up I hadn't been on SR in months.. so one has to be wary of getting too complacent.

Free2bme888

What brighterday1234 said.

At five months in 2018, I went through very stressful stuff, and didn’t think about drink as a crutch.

I didn’t have the permanent mind set sealed in cement casing that stint. This time I do. Spiritually purposefully healing. It’s a lot of work.

Mizz

It sounds like everyone is different. There are some similar responses but the thoughts and feelings vary.

For me, when I quit almost 15 months ago (yes, I have to write the almost part and that I am close to 15 months
I didn't think of drinking. I didn't crave. I was done. I went through the initial process of "getting sober" which meant that I had to deal with my brain rewiring itself. My brain saw that something was different and it didn't like that I was not feeding it alcohol. I went into major upheavals of anxiety. I was emotionally and mentally addicted. So, it was an up and down process for quite awhile.

Chop wood and carry water. Chop wood and carry water.
One step at a time. One day at a time. One moment at a time.

Things settle down and they change. Thoughts change. You will soon enough see that you have not thought of drinking and perhaps a few days went by without the thoughts. It does happen.

I don't know if that answers anything of what you were asking?

Keep on keeping on, Dusty!

Obladi

Hey dusty, I’m not long-term sober yet, just winding up Year 2. I still get cravings, or a desire to drink - perhaps every several months? Like you, I wished with all my might for that to stop happening. But the practical (and self-accepting) part of me is now able to understand this is natural, and bound to happen from time-to-time despite my most fervent wishes. My addiction developed for a reason, after all.

Doing the steps helped. Posting here helps. Learning that I don’t need to ‘do’ Anything in response to those feelings helped. For me, I know I drank because I couldn’t stand feeling so full of the anxiety or nothingness that came hand in hand. Now I know that as much as I Don’t Want those feelings, I can actually Not Drink and get through them. The more I do that, the more attuned I am to that sort of spell coming on, which allows me to prepare to live through it. This mainly involves getting all of the things I ‘need’ so that I don’t have reason to leave my alcohol-free home for a couple of days. The storm, when it comes, generally passes in a matter of hours, not days - but it’s good to be prepared.

The more I stay sober, the more comfortable I become with myself overall. It’s a different spin on the concept of acceptance than I generally hear, but it’s what works for me.

Stay the course.

O

DriGuy

Drinking was a big part of our lives so we will always have thoughts. They do diminish but at 25 years they still pop up once in a while, but they are only thoughts. I don't mind having them, because there is no craving involved, and I don't think it's abnormal or dangerous to have thoughts. Cravings are what I consider dangerous, and it's different for everyone. My cravings were gone in months.

I had one scary moment at around 6 months when the thought occurred to me that I could drink like a normal person. It wasn't a craving, but I briefly believed I could do it. This is such a common event so frequently warned about in recovery circles that I was ready for it, so I didn't take the wine that was offered. What was so scary about it is that it seemed like such a reasonable idea, if even for only that brief moment. I pride myself on my ability to process thoughts logically, but I was thinking like a child letting a heady emotion influence my beliefs, and it shook me.

That is the kind of thing to worry about. Thoughts are not. Actions and behavior are what count.

dwtbd

I’m a big AVRTer, making my Big Plan and purposely , consciously and pointedly practicing the identification and separation really helped me fix a locus for the particular desire for more booze. The practice was illuminating and liberating . But or rather and , for me at least , it also made me sort of zen- curious. Focusing on ‘where’ or ‘how’ a desire manifests , made me more aware of more desires and gave me a lens to see how I reacted to or was ‘driven’ by lots of desires and expectations of what satisfying the desires would bring me.

The zen part , or what I call the zen part , seems to rhyme with the serenity prayer and covers all desire qua desire. The Big Plan and associated No Matter What rule had the specific desire for booze all locked up , but not so much the desire to be freed from desiring , yeah ?

In line with being granted the wisdom to know the difference betwixt things I could change and those I could not , it eventually dawned on me that since I made the option of future booze an irrevocable impossibility, the ‘wanting to not want’ diminished , kind of like not feeding the Beast actual booze mortally wounds It.

As a technique to practice in order to eradicate behavior centered on indulging a very discrete urge, desire or want , AVRT would be hard to beat . Practicing it gave me wider insight into the experience of being and the myriad motivations of being associated with doing and wanting . And ways that wanting can lead to doing , and the importance of doing literally nothing about some wanting.

Rambling a little , sorry , but maybe something in there will resonate