Dee74

Hi Contella

yeah it took me a while to feel good too - don't give up - you'll get to feeling good too - congrats on 2 weeks
D

VikingGF

Contella- 2 weeks is great! Keep it up.

Contella09

Thank you guys 😄

Contella09

I some what celebrated 2 full weeks of getting through this **** life without alcohol and went and ruined it today.

I am currently on beer 3. Had a massive falling out with a family member. I am hurt beyond words. I don't care what anyone says. You never take advantage just because someone is a drinker. You don't treat them less than human even when that person has done you a favor.

It has changed my life considerably and these are people I gave a lot to. I did nothing wrong. Just did them a favor that was thrown back in my face. Loaned a laptop while I wasn't using it. They said I gave it to them. Massive falling out and I was basically told the laptop was worth more than our family relationship. People puzzle me. Users

I won't let this one day knock me down 12 steps. Only one as tomorrow I have the choice to go back to relying on it or take on what I have learned and how I have grown. I will look at it as a stumble. Must start from day 1 again which is very disheartening but it is what it is

fishkiller

Dump the beer and call it a blip.
Not starting over, starting new.

Make a plan for stressful situations in the future

Contella09

I can't decipher if it's my life and people or my drinking

Contella09

I didn't dump the beer. I should have. What if I should do I'd kick people's ass.no one cares.

My situation right now. Lynette was a drinker. Tough. Fair or not.

Thing is...life isn't fair. Maybe I should accept that!

Contella09

I'm drinking again.

VikingGF

Contella, you are in a very sticky spot right now. I know because I've been there (as have most of us) and I'm scared for you. You came here just a few weeks ago and asked for help and got 2 weeks clean of alcohol- that's fantastic. Don't lose sight of doing that. I came here in 2011 and started and stopped over and over and over. There is no need for all that, just stop now. Put down what you have, go to bed, wake up and don't drink. If I could count on my fingers how many times alcohol made a problem better, I wouldn't need any hands. The count is ZERO. Sure, I can see that now, but not when I was drinking! Being sober does not make life perfect (I know this too- I achieved a very significant amount of sober time, also) but it sure makes it easier! It is so hard to see what your life can be when you are caught up in the struggle of drinking, so you have to trust us and just put down the drinks. It is THAT SIMPLE. Do not drink. It will get better. Please don't make yourself wait for the good things that can happen by spinning around and around on the stop-start-stop-start wheel. Come join the 24 hour thread or join the class of September if you have not already and commit to a better life. I KNOW you can do this. Don't drink.

Contella09

Thank you viking. I drank 2 beers then poured the rest down the drain. It's made everything worse because I lashed out at everyone. Don't remember sending half the messages I did.
​​​​​​I am so full of anger about the past. Things people have done and how it's affected my life. I don't know how to fix myself. I just feel broken. I don't want to stay angry or be bitter. I hate the person I turn into when drunk. I hate myself for it. I am back to wishing everything would just end

VikingGF

Not drinking again will solve most of these issues, the anger and the bitter may take some work but that work can't happen if your mind isn't clear. The self- loathing fades away and then other things seem less daunting, like dealing with other people. Just move forward as of now, apologize as you need to and think seriously about separating from people who only want to cause trouble.