LoveDD

I’m 8 months and 1 week sober! It’s been going well! Had the little bump in the road where I was having thoughts of drinking (which I posted about) but that has seemed to have passed. I’ve been having a hard time dealing with the social aspects of sobriety. For the most part I just avoid situations where drinking is the focus. I try and just do more family friendly events as my kids are little anyways. However, I went to a gathering yesterday where people were just drinking moderately. At the beginning I was offered a couple drinks and just said no thanks. One person was a bit more insistent and I just had to say again no I'm okay thanks. I don’t think anyone cared if I was drinking but as the evening went on i started to feel self conscious and having thoughts like “I bet I seem boring” etc. Anyone else feel self conscious about not drinking at BBQ’s and those sort of events. In this case it was a bunch of coworkers (healthcare) blowing off some steam.

Thanks
LoveDD

doggonecarl

I think I went to my first "drinking" event, a wedding reception, at 9 months sober. I felt uncomfortable, not because I wasn't drinking, just the event as a whole was discomforting because of the family dynamics (son of wife and ex-husband, etc). That discomfort made me want to drink--I wasn't uncomfortable not drinking.

In fact, in the few situations where I am the non-drinker, I've never felt uncomfortable embracing sobriety. I hope you reach that point too.

Scd619x

I would feel self conscious if it were co-workers who knew me as a drinker. I always used the antibiotics excuse but if it is healthcare do that wouldn't fly! It's a lot easier going to a function where people didn't know you as a drinker of course.

Sounds like you did great. I'm a few years down the line so i'm less self conscious than i was but in a situation like a golf tournament where there is a meal afterwards and everyone is getting smashed then i do feel self conscious and don't stick around too long but then i am leaving with the lifelong non drinkers so it probably seems normal?!

You are very normal with how you feel and would have to be quite mental to not feel self conscious at a drinking event. Kind of like going to an orgy and sitting in the corner with your clothes on, would you feel self conscious? Lol

Anna

LoveDD, good for you for getting through that. I think you will find those kind of events get easier and you will feel much less self-conscious. Also, it helped me to remember that I owed no one an explanation and that it's rude for someone to get pushy. But, I feel that way if someone is pushing food at me, too. It's generous and polite to offer food & drink, but once you give a polite 'No, thanks', that should be the end of it.

MaxVano

I don't know if everyone in your life knows your choice not to drink and live a healthy sober life, but I say good for you and rise above. Not one of those people, not one, is the person you will look in the mirror the next day when you are hung over and you feel a depression that none of them will understand. Your life, your rules. I'm not going to be telling anyone that I'm not drinking unless they ask. Otherwise, I just drink water, mineral water, soda, whatever, and don't bat an eye. If anyone does ask, I will look them in the eye and say, "I don't like how booze makes me feel, so I don't drink it."

Please keep inspiring us.
-Max

AL48

Same here 8 monts in and I think its the same for us all. Im lucky in as far as i go out with my wife mostly and shes my rock as far as saying no. If someone starts to insist she seems to have the talent needed to reinforce the "no im fine thankyou". I purposely now bring the car even though i live close to town so ive ended up being a taxi for my friends now 🙃.

LoveDD

Thank you for all your kind thoughtful responses. Sometimes just knowing there are people who know what I am going through helps ❤️

Dee74

Stick with it - I may still have other issues about social gatherings, but I never feel self conscious about not drinking anymore

D

C0ntr0ls

"Anyone else feel self conscious about not drinking at BBQ’s and those sort of events. Nope, not one bit and those that really care that you're not drinking, I'm sure are very proud you're not.
Hope that made sense.
Great job not drinking.