It's been awhile AV still lurking
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 637
It's been awhile AV still lurking
Today I work on day 459 of recovery
For members not familiar with my journey. My self destruction of choice opiates. Going on 9 years I stopped all alcohol and recreational drugs. As the years went by with no recovery program. I became addicted to my prescription pain medication. It brought me to rock bottom and desperate for change. During these 459 days I am working a recovery plan. But I have noticed that the thought of alcohol has been popping up in my mind occasionally. I know I could never be a casual drinker . Alcohol was my gateway to be honest I always hated the taste of alcohol? Never could eat a meal at the same time. I find my self reminiscing about the social events more especially now with so much isolation. Has anyone felt the same.
For members not familiar with my journey. My self destruction of choice opiates. Going on 9 years I stopped all alcohol and recreational drugs. As the years went by with no recovery program. I became addicted to my prescription pain medication. It brought me to rock bottom and desperate for change. During these 459 days I am working a recovery plan. But I have noticed that the thought of alcohol has been popping up in my mind occasionally. I know I could never be a casual drinker . Alcohol was my gateway to be honest I always hated the taste of alcohol? Never could eat a meal at the same time. I find my self reminiscing about the social events more especially now with so much isolation. Has anyone felt the same.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Even 8 years later I still get the occasional thought that I could handle it. I know that's BS. It's just old addict thinking but I think of it as a ghost.
I think you talking about social interaction and isolation is insightful. I cant link up as I'm on my phone but if you have time to look up Johann Hari he has a tedtalk that supports your insight.
I think you talking about social interaction and isolation is insightful. I cant link up as I'm on my phone but if you have time to look up Johann Hari he has a tedtalk that supports your insight.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I think those who quit and never have a passing thought about drinking again are in the minority.
I've never missed drinking at a social occasion, but thats because I almost always got wasted and embarrassed myself... but, as I've shared before, certain pain issues have started the thoughts again over the years.
That all they are though - thoughts. Easily dismissed.
Its not the thoughts that define our recovery - it's what we do about them
I've never missed drinking at a social occasion, but thats because I almost always got wasted and embarrassed myself... but, as I've shared before, certain pain issues have started the thoughts again over the years.
That all they are though - thoughts. Easily dismissed.
Its not the thoughts that define our recovery - it's what we do about them
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 637
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think those who quit and never have a passing thought about drinking again are in the minority.
I've never missed drinking at a social occasion, but thats because I almost always got wasted and embarrassed myself... but, as I've shared before, certain pain issues have started the thoughts again over the years.
That all they are though - thoughts. Easily dismissed.
Its not the thoughts that define our recovery - it's what we do about them
I've never missed drinking at a social occasion, but thats because I almost always got wasted and embarrassed myself... but, as I've shared before, certain pain issues have started the thoughts again over the years.
That all they are though - thoughts. Easily dismissed.
Its not the thoughts that define our recovery - it's what we do about them
Originally Posted by silentrun
Even 8 years later I still get the occasional thought that I could handle it. I know that's BS. It's just old addict thinking but I think of it as a ghost.
I think you talking about social interaction and isolation is insightful. I cant link up as I'm on my phone but if you have time to look up Johann Hari he has a tedtalk that supports your insight.
I think you talking about social interaction and isolation is insightful. I cant link up as I'm on my phone but if you have time to look up Johann Hari he has a tedtalk that supports your insight.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Now clean for a while, I get so much enjoyment out of everyday life.
I used to start looking for reasons to get angry on the way home from work so I could drink.
Now I work to forget the issues of the day because rarely do they come back to haunt me later.
I enjoy getting out of my work clothes, having some snacks, then some dinner. Followed by the night's activitiies.
This involves TV, music, guitar, games, research, laundry, cleaning, etc. It is wonderful to have a home and my health to enjoy.
If I have a lot of energy I go out and see a show or walk through a nice place.
I learned what sober people do from my wife and son. They don't drink and that is what they do all evening.
That is sober life. The mind loves it, but it takes a long long long time for the mind to normalize after decades of drug abuse.
Suffering and time.
Thanks.
I used to start looking for reasons to get angry on the way home from work so I could drink.
Now I work to forget the issues of the day because rarely do they come back to haunt me later.
I enjoy getting out of my work clothes, having some snacks, then some dinner. Followed by the night's activitiies.
This involves TV, music, guitar, games, research, laundry, cleaning, etc. It is wonderful to have a home and my health to enjoy.
If I have a lot of energy I go out and see a show or walk through a nice place.
I learned what sober people do from my wife and son. They don't drink and that is what they do all evening.
That is sober life. The mind loves it, but it takes a long long long time for the mind to normalize after decades of drug abuse.
Suffering and time.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
We have to remember that thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts are not actions. I often fantasize about robbing a bank, or punching a politician in the face, lol. While new and frequent thoughts of using can be the sign of trouble on the horizon, we also shouldn't overreact to them as long as we are doing the things in recovery that have made us successful. In short, thoughts are natural. It's our actions to be really mindful of.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,125
Hi,
I thought of the phrase “ Euphoric Recall”, I’d forget the misery, ALL the negative crap that came with my drinking.
Then I started to rationalize, justify, minimalize & deny my alcoholism. And this allowed me to keep getting black out drunk every night. As much as I hated the results of my drinking, I couldn’t stop.
My story of Recovery is the AA Program.
Wanted to say: My suffering ended the night I left my family on the other side of the glass doors at the medical detox. For ME, that proverbial ton of bricks was lifted. I admitted I as an alcoholic to myself ….and was taking action. WHEW!!
I don’t subscribe to this line of thinking that we must continue to suffer for a long, long, long time. I certainly didn’t and don’t. I will have 9 years sobriety in November, by being active in my own recovery using AA as one of the biggest tools in my toolbox. Our SR Recovery site is another huge resource, I come here daily.
Best of Everything to You!
Bobbi
I thought of the phrase “ Euphoric Recall”, I’d forget the misery, ALL the negative crap that came with my drinking.
Then I started to rationalize, justify, minimalize & deny my alcoholism. And this allowed me to keep getting black out drunk every night. As much as I hated the results of my drinking, I couldn’t stop.
My story of Recovery is the AA Program.
Wanted to say: My suffering ended the night I left my family on the other side of the glass doors at the medical detox. For ME, that proverbial ton of bricks was lifted. I admitted I as an alcoholic to myself ….and was taking action. WHEW!!
I don’t subscribe to this line of thinking that we must continue to suffer for a long, long, long time. I certainly didn’t and don’t. I will have 9 years sobriety in November, by being active in my own recovery using AA as one of the biggest tools in my toolbox. Our SR Recovery site is another huge resource, I come here daily.
Best of Everything to You!
Bobbi
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,787
The best advice I can give you to dismiss such thoughts is to Practice Gratitude. Do it every day, as much as you can. Gratitude gets me thru the hardest days. I rarely have thoughts of drinking, but thanks to practicing gratitude, they are met with revulsion and not desire.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 637
Thank you all for the great responses. I've been reading alot and the subject was our thoughts and how if you hold on to them they affect your emotions. And the thoughts of reminiscing of old times affected my emotions by making me feel isolated more than I am. The thought has passed and I have learned that we have thousand of thoughts going through our head. I needed to slow down observe it and make a decision is it worth all the effort holding on to it. I think NOT lol . My brain is still relearning new and healthy habits of thinking and replacing a negative with a positive. I am grateful for today day 461 I am alive healthy and happy . 
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