Mags1

“Suddenly we are faced with ourselves, who we really are. Someone we haven't seen or got to know in a very long time. We may not know how to react. To ourselves or to others. Look in the mirror and say glad to meet me.”

An SR member said these words to me when I was newly sober. I was floundering and unsure of me and really didn’t know who I was!

And it’s true! We start again with a sober slate and a dollop of hope and faith. And slowly we begin to find ourselves and find life gets better without the booze or drugs.

"Someday" is not one of the days of the week, and "hopefully" is not a plan. Now is the time to start.


Stopping drinking isn’t just about stopping drinking I found out. I didn’t know or understand about recovery. I just wanted to be sober.


Sounded straightforward until I was faced with life sober. No running for the bottle at any little thing. I didn’t know how to live or how to function sober.


I learnt to slowly, step by step, walk on the sober road with a positive attitude.

Armed with everything I’d learnt about addiction from people who understood me here on SR, I was able to make a good life for myself free from booze and free from giving in to my addiction.


This can be achieved by anyone of us. I and many others are testament to that.

You just have to want to stop drinking.

If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)

We also share bits and pieces of our lives and the things that are important to us, or make us laugh..anything that makes the journey a little easier.

CaptainHaddock

Thanks Mags and shotgun! Glad to be in for another sober weekend.

Mags1

Hi CaptainHaddock and congratulations on shotgun

andyh

thanks Mags

least

Me too! Count me in!

One of the best tools in my toolbox is Gratitude. When I was early on and wasn't 'feeling it' it was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first cause I was still depressed and felt hopeless and faced a mountain of self hatred and self doubt over my drinking behavior.

But practicing gratitude became easier. It became easier to find things - anything! - to be grateful for. And throughout each day, I was grateful that I didn't drink anymore. If there was nothing else to be thankful for, that was a huge reason to be grateful right there.

I read something by Cicero that said: Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues, but the parent of all the rest. I believe that to be true.

Another huge thing I'm grateful for is you - my fellow travelers on this sober journey. I am glad to be on this road with all of you.

Dee74

Thanks Mags

D

saoutchik

In!

Thanks Mags, great OP which I shall respond to later, off to work now so gotta dash. Later...

Canadian Koala

Thanks for this new chapter Mags, very good opening post as always.

I don't want to be a party spoiler but I'm still at that stage Least talks about even after 4 years sober.
The list of all the bad choices I made while using seems to be endless and keeps coming back haunting me.
I'm trying to forgive myself but it doesn't work very well so far.
I know, there's that 9th step "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others" but I can't do that for now. (It would put my professional situation at risk...a long story)

I'm sensitive these days, AV is talking loud and you see me a bit desesperate.
I think I'll hang out a bit more on SR for awhile.
I'm not healed, not yet...

Have a good day Weekenders, thanks for letting me vent today.

Cityboy

My kid just turned 18. By my 18th birthday I had already developed somewhat of a dependency on alcohol. It just clicked. And so it would be until age 55.

Not thinking about much except the hangover, the work in front of me that day, and how to avoid getting a DUI or appearing to be an alcoholic in front of everyone, doesn't leave much brain power for sorting out things.

I think that I had visions of who I wanted to be in terms of being a better father and husband. Some things have worked out and some haven't. The things that haven't are still eating at me.

Suddenly faced with who I am? Yes, for the first time in my life in many respects. Suddenly faced with who others are also in some respects.

dustyfox

Thank you for an inspirational post Mags - I have not checked in here for a while but I am still here and seem to go through good and bad days in terms of how I feel mentally and physically, it's rather exhausting but totally worth it. Sorry your feeling low canadiankoala hopefully staying close and sharing how things are going might help.
The weekend brings a family visit to my brothers new house where I hope not to be offered a glass of champagne or anything to celebrate - he will be very disparaging if I turn it down - my plan is to say I am on anti biotics and can't drink.
Other than that I wish all a weekend of sobriety and mornings where waking up feels good and you know you are doing a great thing in staying clean and free from poison and your body and mind is slowly becoming free of all of it.

freedomfries

Thanks Mags for the thread.

I'm really struggling this Thursday. I bought Listerine. I'm waiting to hear back from the mental health centre to see if they'll prescribe Ativan. The voices got very bad yesterday. If they don't prescribe Ativan and the voices start up again, I don't see myself staying sober.

Mags1

Freedomfries can you play the tape forward. Can you see the consequences if you drink? Not today or tomorrow or even nect week, but the av will have a voice. You can stop it getting stronger.
(is the listerine alcohol free)

Reid82

I'm in for this sober weekend. I'm back to work now after the last few weeks and trying to get to terms with everything still.

Cityboy

Reid, getting back to work is good.

Dystyfox, I suppose that whatever works for you is good, but you do not owe your brother or anyone else an explanation as to why you don't want a glass of champagne. If anyone asks, you could say the truth, which is that you would have a headache from it by the second sip. In the last 18 months I've been offered this or that several times, but not a single person has asked me why.

venuscat

(((CK))) ❤️

...I know, there's that 9th step "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others" but I can't do that for now. (It would put my professional situation at risk...a long story)...

This comes from my AA sponsor: the others in that sentence includes you. And as you said, making certain amends would put you at risk.

Now, I had some similar situations. A couple of my amends would have landed me in jail ~ I wasn't up for that I am afraid.
So what to do? Well, you can make an amends in writing and either share it or don't share it with someone you trust, as feels right to you.
Perhaps just getting it out can release some of the pain associated with past actions we regret.

Apart from that, staying sober and aspiring to be your best self one day at a time is for me a kind of permanent amends. s ❤️



Thank you for your OP dear Mags ❤️

venuscat

We talked a lot about the Listerine dear FF ~ it is so so dangerous.

Canadian Koala

Thanks for the good words and advice Venus

I think I’ll do the hard to achieve amends by doing my 4th and 5th one day.
(if that makes sense to you)

Big koala hug

venuscat

Absolutely....just maybe have someone to do them with....I got tangled up in grief and despair when I did my 4th, and my sponsor was amazing.

Free2bme888

I’m in! Thanks Mags!

LoveHateWhine

Thanks, Mags. I’m in!