Free2bme888

(((((CK)))))

i totally understand and send hugs to you!

I don’t work the AA program, but I do believe in forgiving ourselves.

I went to Minneapolis last year when my homeless meth and alcohol, addicted daughter went into a treatment facility. I went to a “My pillow” store. Mike lindell, the creator and owner of this multimillion dollar enterprise was in a horrible addicted mess and is now successful.

When I old the young female clerk whomI was buying the pillow for, tears welled up in her eyes. She said she’d been sober for 5 years now. And the only thing that finally helped her be free of the monsters was forgiving herself. She turned tricks in front of her two children while they were homeless for a high. Countless other “horrible” things. She has finally forgiven herself.

I like Venus’ advice. Good place to start.

Phil71els

I am in for a sober weekend. I wont drink today.

MLD51

I'm in. Thanks for the great OP, Mags. I remember when I first got sober I was kind of lost. I really didn't know myself , and what I did know, I didn't like much. I had no idea what to do with myself without alcohol. I had to slowly figure out what I liked to do, what my values were, what kind of people I wanted to spend time with. It was a process, and I'm still at it. I once told my man friend that I felt really lost - I think I had been sober a few months and the frenzy of early recovery was wearing off a little. He asked me "what do you really like to do? What do you want to do with your life? What kind of person do you want to be?" And I cried because I had no idea. But he said "You have the opportunity to remake your life now - you should embrace that." Wise man. It was still kind of overwhelming to realize I didn't know myself at all sober, but in time, things began to fall into place.

FF, please don't drink the listerine. I think you know that it is really really harmful. I know the voices are awful for you, and I really hope your doctors figure out a way to help you. Drinking might quiet them temporarily, but you know they will return until your doctors come up with the right medications to quiet them. Keep advocating for yourself. We don't want to see you hurt yourself.

I am on a cleaning frenzy at my house. My biological father will be here for a visit, starting tomorrow. I have not seen him in about 28 years I think - Maybe longer? I'm so nervous and I just don't quite know what to expect. He's not staying with me, thank goodness (hotel a few blocks from me). He will be here until Tuesday morning. I have a few activities planned, without really knowing what he likes to do. I'm only cleaning like this to dispel some nervous energy (and because my house could use a good deep clean anyway). Think of me tomorrow if you remember - I'll try to check in if I can.

venuscat

Wow love......2 years. I bet you are excited as well as nervous. Absolutely we will be thinking of you tomorrow. s ❤️

saoutchik

Thanks Mags, I was so ill at ease with the real me that the first year of trying to stay sober I spent over 1000 hours (probably closer to 1500 hours) toiling away at restoring an old car. I was frightened of my own company and didn't trust myself with it. As Mags says, baby steps. There are things in my life I have messed up and cannot fix but I have learned a degree of acceptance, after all non problem drinkers make mistakes too.

Sorry you're struggling Canadian Koala, you can only put right what you can. Because of booze, otherwise good people do stupid things and it's not possible to repair all of that damage. You can do the next right thing now though, that is good for restoring self respect and takes the edge off self recriminations.

Good luck tomorrow Marty!

Mags1

CKoala I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Guilt reared up in my head many times too. I try to be the best person I can today. I forgave my dad for his drunken life and his jeckyll and Hyde personality. He was a good guy without the booze. I followed in his footsteps and I know he would be proud of me now for being sober.
keep posting CKoala.

Saou that was a good pastime.

Mags1

Marty I hope all goes well with your dad’s visit.

SoberLeigh

You have so much going on currently, freedomfries; it must be so hard for you to sort it out, cope with, and understand it. I cannot imagine.

One thing, however, is a constant; alcohol is always bad for you; it is not your friend. Keep non-drinking a constant and forever in your life; that practice will not harm you.

SoberLeigh

All the best tomorrow, Marty. Planned activities sound like a good thing to me.

CK, hugs to you, my friend. You have realized, acknowledged and accepted the needs for amends; that is a major component of the amends process. The timing of the actual amends can be tricky. Some needs for amends are to be lived with for a while, until the right time; the right time for you is, to me anyway, an important component of the amends process; I hope that you can personally come to peace with them, though, until that right time arrives. Know that the making of the amends is in process and, in the meantime, forgive yourself.

Good to see you, Phil and dusty fox.

Thinking of you, Reid and CaptainHaddock.

Cityboy

MLD, I would imagine that your father is pretty nervous as well. Hope it goes well.

dustyfox

MLD - Best wishes for the meeting with your biological father - I hope it goes well for you.

Free2bme888

MLD. Sending calming thoughts, and totally get the cleaning nervous thing. Big hugs!

Dee74

Best thoughts wishes and prayers MLD

D

Mags1

Another Day, another Dollar. Nowadays it’s another day, another sober one under my belt.
I still marvel on waking up sober. How I punished my body so with booze, it’s a relief to be sober.

Robbie64

Thanks Mags, hope you are feeling a lot better.

I'm IN for a sober weekend. I've not been on SR the last few days. I had some bad news on Sunday, I found out two of my friends had died. One had been battling cancer for a year and the other died suddenly, of a massive heart attack. I'm sorry to say I ended up drinking after hearing the news about them so now I'm back to square one. I was sober for 6 months and now I'm back to day 1. On top of that I'm having problems with what I think might be diabetic neuropathy, which is where the nerves start to die and it can cause pain. I've been getting itching all over my body with the main problem being my left foot which has been itching for months. Last week the problem got worse and I became so unsettled that I couldn't sleep properly. The problem is there is no cure for it, it can just stay the same or it can get worse. My blood sugar is under control (the drinking of the last few days aside) so hopefully it won't get much worse. But a few days ago I couldn't stand the itching any longer and I think that unsettled me enough that when I heard about my friends I just caved in and drank.

Mags1

Robbie, I’m sorry to hear of your friends. What a shock for you to take in. I was thinking of you and wondered how you were. I’m glad you posted.
Have you been to docs with itching/irritation. I’ve had similar and eventually got an appointment with immunologist. There’s oatmeal sachets you can put in the bath to help it but didn’t cure it for me.

Mags1

Sorry I missed part of your post about diabetic neuropathy

Robbie64

I've just phoned the doctors and they have referred me to the pharmacist. I'm waiting for a call back. It's the way my GP practice works, they are 2 doctors short and so have an greement that the pharmacist will speak to you if it is urgent and you can't get an appointment that day. I personally don't like it but it's the way some doctors practices work.

Mags1

Pharmacist is sometimes as knowledgeable as a doctor. Hope they can give you some relief.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss Robbie. I'm glad you made it back so soon - but remember we're here when you need us.
There is always another alternative to drinking

I have some neuropathy issues too - I hope yours are caught early enough, even now, to be managed and even maybe repaired with time and proper diet etc.

D