Finalcall

It seems simple. Just don't drink. it is more than that . It has to be a whole change in the way I live every day.
much love to all who are fighting this

Gabe1980

It's really hard FC. I have relapsed numerous times and it has taken me years to address the underlying issues, so I could cope with being sober. You can do it! Keep going and figure out what you need to be well and settled in a sober life xx

Dee74

hey finallcall

I'm not sure it was strength so much for me - trying to remain a drinker in the face of the soul destroying effect booze had on me...it just knocked me down on my butt so completely my only real viable choice left was to not drink.

It really can does and will get easier from that point

D

FreeOwl

You're right.... it is a whole change in how we live, how we cope, how we respond, how we focus, how we enter relationships, how we show up to life.....

But, good news is we don't have to 'fix' it all at once. We don't have to change our entire lives on a dime. We just need to commit to that goal, and make progress at it each day. And stay sober. And embrace non-drinking activities.

You can do this.

fishkiller

Yep^^^^

As long as we are not drinking we are making progress. Even those days and weeks it doesn't seem like it.
Then, BAM, one day it hits you and you realize ou are making it.

Don't give up. Come back to the sober side. I wouldn't be there I it wasn't So much better than the drunk side.

doggonecarl

Searching for the strength once again

The strength to surrender.

Mizz

You are absolutely right. There has to be an entire change in the way we live. A change in our thought process. A change with our activities. An entire change that does not happen over night or even in a few months. Take it one day at a time. You will get there. Just keep making that change. You don't have to be perfect. This is your road. You will get there.
I believe in you!

D122y

Getting clean hurts like hell for a long long long long time.

Off and on suffering for years. That is why so few make it all the way out and stay clean for the rest of their life.

The crave lurks forever. Any decision to drink is a relapse.

I still obsess over things.

Getting clean let me see what was left of the real me.

I am blessed in so many ways and now I can live the rest of my life naturally. Being drugged just doesn't make sense to us now. Right?

I just had my first video interview with a counselor. I am lucky because it is no cost since I am a US Vet.

I don't know where this will lead, but I plan to use this resource for the near term. Not sure what to expect, but it is arguably better than getting counseling from Dr. Google.

Getting help from SR was my start. Defeating the crave is still a battle at times, but other times it is super easy.

The bad crave times seem to well up and take forever, when in actuality they last minutes.

Suffering and time.

Thanks.

lessgravity

What's up FC. Good to see you posting here rather than turning to the bottle. Or even if you are, that you are here trying once again. The "once again" thing is a common theme for all of us who got sober I think. I looking back at your posts, I agree that you do need a paradigm shift of sorts to finally turn the corner and put the drinking life behind you. One thing that was helpful for me, while I was still trying, failing and trying again, was to shift my focus from my failures and instead look at the part of me that kept coming back to SR, kept trying again and again, even in the face of the history of my past behavior, to get sober. Honor and examine and be proud that there is a part of you that refuses to give up. Rather than see this recent decision to drink as another failure, instead see you coming here, the desire in you to finally get free, as the essential part of who you are and who you want to be.

Specifically, there are two statements of yours that I think you should examine and work to change in order to get permanently sober:
"I don't really have much of a plan besides not drinking."
The answer to the question - what is your plan? - is essential to sobriety. I remember being asked that question all the time in my early days here and I would always get frustrated - "my plan is not to drink!" I would say/respond. When I understood that a plan was absolutely crucial to my sobriety I achieved permanent sobriety.

"going to grind through another day sober"
I saw this in a post of yours from a few months ago. I think it is an example of a red flag and it is not surprising that you ended up deciding to drink. Staying sober is not easy, it's not always comfortable and it takes real work. And sometimes it can take pure willpower to get through a few hours or a day. On the other hand, white-knuckle grinding through each day on a regular basis is never going to keep you sober for good. I think you need to dig a bit deeper and find all the reasons you want to be sober. All the peace, power, opportunity, self-confidence, financial reward, clarity, etc - all the incredible benefits of sobriety - you need to focus in on these, leverage them against that terrible, empty and worthless desire to drink. Without truly believing you are living a better life, willpower being a limited resource, you will be just pushing against the demon who, as you know, one day will win.

birddawg

This right here is what helped me. I'm only on day 23 but when I realized the above mentioned wasn't the way to view it, not drinking became easier. It's not easy at all. It is fact terrifying if you let it get to you. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol myself. The further I get away from my drinking days, the more clarity I gain about how bad I let it get, and I don't, naw screw that, WON"T let it go back to that place.

Dizzy-
Thanks for your service.

Gabe1980

How are you getting on FC?? xx

Hodd

But it becomes second nature to drink. Telling a drinker not to drink is like telling a dog not to lick its private parts. That’s why we - or rather non-drinkers - can’t even trivialise others drinking. A whole bunch of stuff has to change, and it’s a massive mountain to climb. View’s not bad on the other side, though 🙂

Hevyn

Finalcall - keep on talking to us. We're with you.
Like Dee, I reached the point where my only choice was to quit. Alcohol was stealing my soul.
You can get free.

Scd619x

The key for me was to change my relationship with alcohol. I had to understand what it did for me and why i did it. Then i could make small change to remain longer term sober. That was after a couple of decades of seeing it as an evil and feeling shame, guilt, anger and remorse then making huge life changes in order to sort myself out lol. It's quite funny how crazy that is looking back.

Anna

Hi FC, good to see you.

It's not about strength as much as being willing to make the changes you need to make in your life to support your sobriety. I had to change pretty much everything, but it's worth it.

anxiousrock

quitting alcohol IS easy, I've done it 1000 times.
it will take a lot of changes to STAY quit!

Dee74

How is it going final call?

D