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Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Hi Sam! And welcome back Phebe! Lovely to have you both here and you will get a ton of great advice and support from those with some sober time behind them. I am just starting out (again!), so we are all in it together! 
Sober Date: March 10, 2013
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by samj 
Thanks so much Will follow it now. Routing for you too.
Will follow it now. Routing for you too.I didn’t sleep well last night either. Kept having strange nightmares as soon as I started drifting off. Like it was me, awake, trying to scream but had no voice to. Just terrifying feelings. Anxiety. Somehow, after I put on some ‘sleep waves’ music, I was able to finally fall asleep at around 4am for a few hours. At least I woke up a little more refreshed than the night before, where I had to take a Xanax because I was having so much anxiety and a feeling of my heart beating out of my chest that it sent me to the Dr. that day. I told her what I was going thru, emotionally (depression) and physically and the drinking and, unfortunately, smoking too. She assured me, after listening to my heart and lungs, that it all sounded normal and I was just sending myself into a panic. So I had to take the Xanax to calm the bodily sensations to sleep, which for me is only for emergency purposes. Anyway, that’s what brought me here yesterday. I don’t want to feel that way. I have to learn to handle my life and it’s problems, face them head on, without the drinking as a crutch or ‘medicine’ (it’s poison really). So Day 3 today. I know this is all side affects of detoxing, and I know it will get better. It will get better for you too Sam🤗
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 10
I relate, I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and depression. I also have Xanax for those emergencies But I try to avoid it, I don't like how it makes me feel. Unfortunately, I'm doing this at the same exact time as I'm going through a very fresh breakup so those feelings of anxiety and sadness were weighing me down a lot last night. Usually, I would use alcohol to "numb" these feelings but I'm not going to. Day 2 now for me. And it will get better, for all of us
But I try to avoid it, I don't like how it makes me feel. Unfortunately, I'm doing this at the same exact time as I'm going through a very fresh breakup so those feelings of anxiety and sadness were weighing me down a lot last night. Usually, I would use alcohol to "numb" these feelings but I'm not going to. Day 2 now for me. And it will get better, for all of us
Sober Date: March 10, 2013
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 270
It seems to me I made the right connection with you, Sam🙂 Yes, we are going thru similar experiences, even if it’s ages and World’s a part. My break up was September 2019, yet I have been devastated by it for (now) almost 2 years. And it didn’t help when he tried coming back in my life a few times, and I fell for it each time. Only to have it ‘flake’ out. We were together 4 years. I guess I wasn’t ‘the one’ for him, but I guess I was a good time to keep around for that long. I don’t know. I can’t read his mind. So, when he comes back, my heart aches again, and I wish he would decide I -am- ‘the one’. But the way things are, it doesn’t seem that’s going to be a reality. So I have to keep moving forward and letting go. He even texted me again last week! Same ole ‘I was thinking of you’ ‘I’ve changed and I see what’s important now’ but I just can’t believe him. And he hasn’t texted in days now since we had a few texts. And I know if he seriously wanted me in his life, and not just a plaything, he would work towards that. But he’s not. Again.
That’s just the devastating break up stuff. Then the pandemic hit, I lost my job, and I’m stuck home all day living back with my parents. My Step dad is great. My mom has been a struggle day in and day out. So I drank. Drank my sorrows away. Cried uncontrollably. I just didn’t care anymore and didn’t see a life worth living.
I’m also going thru menopause lol. I’m 51. 51, never married, no children, no home of my own, living with my parents, no career. It’s just been really, really hard for me. And especially during a pandemic that I can’t get to a therapist properly.
Not to take away from you and your space, your thread. I hope you don’t mind me venting here. I just feel safe talking to you right now🙂
That’s just the devastating break up stuff. Then the pandemic hit, I lost my job, and I’m stuck home all day living back with my parents. My Step dad is great. My mom has been a struggle day in and day out. So I drank. Drank my sorrows away. Cried uncontrollably. I just didn’t care anymore and didn’t see a life worth living.
I’m also going thru menopause lol. I’m 51. 51, never married, no children, no home of my own, living with my parents, no career. It’s just been really, really hard for me. And especially during a pandemic that I can’t get to a therapist properly.
Not to take away from you and your space, your thread. I hope you don’t mind me venting here. I just feel safe talking to you right now🙂
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 10
Hi Phebe - I'm sorry for responding so late, my job has been crazy this week. Thank you for sharing your story - I started the thread, but it's not MY thread Hearing about everyone's stories is helping me so much. I may not be able to speak for your dude, but I can say that I get it and you're going to be okay. And as for all of the other stuff, it'll all work itself out too. I know it's kind of annoying when people tell you that. I at least get annoyed, when I'm feeling ****. But I also know that every time my life has been in shambles, it does work itself out.
I'm on day 4 of sobriety. Hoping you're doing well too.
Hearing about everyone's stories is helping me so much. I may not be able to speak for your dude, but I can say that I get it and you're going to be okay. And as for all of the other stuff, it'll all work itself out too. I know it's kind of annoying when people tell you that. I at least get annoyed, when I'm feeling ****. But I also know that every time my life has been in shambles, it does work itself out.I'm on day 4 of sobriety. Hoping you're doing well too.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,124
Welcome Sam!
I quit November 12, 2012. I have “tools” to keep me sober and on my Recovery Path. I haven’t relapsed.
As they say ‘I work my AA Program’, Come here daily — to my Sober Recovery Family, & my own family(hubby & son —who are both sober over a decade).
Bobbi
I quit November 12, 2012. I have “tools” to keep me sober and on my Recovery Path. I haven’t relapsed.
As they say ‘I work my AA Program’, Come here daily — to my Sober Recovery Family, & my own family(hubby & son —who are both sober over a decade).
Bobbi
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and depression.
Learning mental health (MH) management tools to lessen MH symptoms has helped me enormously.
I have experienced over a 100 hours of counseling over a 6 year period. Plus 3 years of addiction treatment, so my recovery/wellness tool chest is nice and full of healthy skill sets.
I encourage you to learn some live saving skills.
Sober Date: March 10, 2013
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by samj
Hi Phebe - I'm sorry for responding so late, my job has been crazy this week. Thank you for sharing your story - I started the thread, but it's not MY thread Hearing about everyone's stories is helping me so much. I may not be able to speak for your dude, but I can say that I get it and you're going to be okay. And as for all of the other stuff, it'll all work itself out too. I know it's kind of annoying when people tell you that. I at least get annoyed, when I'm feeling ****. But I also know that every time my life has been in shambles, it does work itself out.
I'm on day 4 of sobriety. Hoping you're doing well too.
Hearing about everyone's stories is helping me so much. I may not be able to speak for your dude, but I can say that I get it and you're going to be okay. And as for all of the other stuff, it'll all work itself out too. I know it's kind of annoying when people tell you that. I at least get annoyed, when I'm feeling ****. But I also know that every time my life has been in shambles, it does work itself out.I'm on day 4 of sobriety. Hoping you're doing well too.
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Hi Samj! I was also 28 years old when I stopped drinking (For good, took me a few(a lot) of tries to get there!) No one thought I would make it to 30, including me, if I didn't stop. I can tell you from experience, if you stay Sober, there is nothing you can't do. I can give you a few pointers to start with, take them or leave them, it is just advice.
Never forget how you felt the morning after your last night drinking....you never have to feel that way again
Forgive yourself(this will take time) for being sick, being an Alcoholic doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a person with an illness.
Stay away from people who drink entirely, especially early in recovery, even of it is your family.
Not all of your "friends" will be supportive...the ones who aren't are NOT your friends.
It isn't the first 5th, the first bottle, pint etc. that takes your sober time..it is the first SIP. Play it through all the way to the end if you have the urge. Call someone or come here FIRST!
Guilt will take you back out there with a quickness, ask for forgiveness and let it go.
You are stronger than you think.
Some people will be angry with how you treated them and yourself Active Alcoholism, they have the right to their feelings. They didn't put themselves it that situation, we did. Apologize (sincerely) and hope for the best. If they can't accept that, you might have to let them go. Or at least give them space and time to regain trust in you.
Phoebe, Welcome Back! It is never to late to begin again...as long as we are breathing, there is a chance for a Happy Life, no matter what our age is. I am a bit older than you and I have hopes for a happy full life ahead of me (God Willing) Quality over Quantity. It's about actually SEEING the things we took for granted in our Active Addiction. One day, you might wake up and notice the sky is Bluer and the Grass is Greener than you remember, breath it in and enjoy.
I hope to follow both of your progress, maybe see both you on the Alcoholism board also, there is Tons of wisdom there.
to you both, Cathy
Never forget how you felt the morning after your last night drinking....you never have to feel that way again
Forgive yourself(this will take time) for being sick, being an Alcoholic doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a person with an illness.
Stay away from people who drink entirely, especially early in recovery, even of it is your family.
Not all of your "friends" will be supportive...the ones who aren't are NOT your friends.
It isn't the first 5th, the first bottle, pint etc. that takes your sober time..it is the first SIP. Play it through all the way to the end if you have the urge. Call someone or come here FIRST!
Guilt will take you back out there with a quickness, ask for forgiveness and let it go.
You are stronger than you think.
Some people will be angry with how you treated them and yourself Active Alcoholism, they have the right to their feelings. They didn't put themselves it that situation, we did. Apologize (sincerely) and hope for the best. If they can't accept that, you might have to let them go. Or at least give them space and time to regain trust in you.
Phoebe, Welcome Back! It is never to late to begin again...as long as we are breathing, there is a chance for a Happy Life, no matter what our age is. I am a bit older than you and I have hopes for a happy full life ahead of me (God Willing) Quality over Quantity. It's about actually SEEING the things we took for granted in our Active Addiction. One day, you might wake up and notice the sky is Bluer and the Grass is Greener than you remember, breath it in and enjoy.
I hope to follow both of your progress, maybe see both you on the Alcoholism board also, there is Tons of wisdom there.
to you both, CathyMember
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 2
Sam,
I am not a saint. I haven't totally kicked it yet. I know I could relapse tonight if I am not careful. I drank every single day for decades starting at about 27 years old till now. Somehow during that time, I never got a DUI. I was careful about drinking and driving because I had a situation happen when I was 19 or 20. I wont give the whole story but I got lucky to get where I was. I am well to do, have a great GF of over 4 years and lots more going for me. In the past couple of years I started with some crazy benders that kept me from work for a week or two at a time. Then I personally decided it was enough. My GF found a place to rehab. I went a month. Lots good came from it but not enough. I got home and was ok for a couple of months + but felt empty. I did a lot of reading about it online (because you can believe everything you read on the internet right?) and took a different route that I might explain later. I sat through some Zoom NA's and AA's. Read a lot about the 12 step and I decided that the 12 step was not for me at all. I also decided that AA just wouldn't work for me either. I am sure it is great for many others.
I have a problem... I am a bit of a narcissistic. I typically think I am the smartest guy in the room. My method is not for everyone. As I said, i might detail later when I get comfortable. I am not trying to monetize anything. I just knew that going through a rehab again where they can take the edge off with drugs was the easy way and my mind and body needed to feel the hard way.
Good luck Sir. Talk later.
I am not a saint. I haven't totally kicked it yet. I know I could relapse tonight if I am not careful. I drank every single day for decades starting at about 27 years old till now. Somehow during that time, I never got a DUI. I was careful about drinking and driving because I had a situation happen when I was 19 or 20. I wont give the whole story but I got lucky to get where I was. I am well to do, have a great GF of over 4 years and lots more going for me. In the past couple of years I started with some crazy benders that kept me from work for a week or two at a time. Then I personally decided it was enough. My GF found a place to rehab. I went a month. Lots good came from it but not enough. I got home and was ok for a couple of months + but felt empty. I did a lot of reading about it online (because you can believe everything you read on the internet right?) and took a different route that I might explain later. I sat through some Zoom NA's and AA's. Read a lot about the 12 step and I decided that the 12 step was not for me at all. I also decided that AA just wouldn't work for me either. I am sure it is great for many others.
I have a problem... I am a bit of a narcissistic. I typically think I am the smartest guy in the room. My method is not for everyone. As I said, i might detail later when I get comfortable. I am not trying to monetize anything. I just knew that going through a rehab again where they can take the edge off with drugs was the easy way and my mind and body needed to feel the hard way.
Good luck Sir. Talk later.
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