Hi I'm New
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 10
Hi I'm New
I'm not quite sure where to begin, but I'm new here. I'm 28 and have a drinking problem. I'm scared but I'm hopeful. I've half-assed quitting a few times, but this time I know I need to for my sake and the sake of my friends and family. I just really need to know from others who have done it that I got this...and that it's okay. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Alcoholism runs in my family and I am just scared. If anyone has any recommendations on distractions and habits to pick up to ease the process, I'm all ears. Today is day 1.
Last edited by samj; 04-20-2021 at 10:26 AM. Reason: Forgot one thing
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 2,576
Hi SamJ. Welcome to SR. Quitting drinking was hard, but it was one of the best things I have ever done. Have you considered AA? When I was just starting out, I found a meeting in my area and committed to 90 meetings in 90 days no matter what. It definitely filled in my downtime when I would have been drinking. It helped to be around other people fighting the same fight.
AA and hanging around here are really great places to start. I'm glad you are here.
AA and hanging around here are really great places to start. I'm glad you are here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 10
I didn't realize how good it would feel to get a response. Thanks for the advice - I definitely see the appeal and benefits of being around others going through what I am going through. I think AA could be good for me, but I'm not sure I'm ready yet. The shame I feel is something I know I need to get over, but I don't think I'm ready to show my face and admit all of this. 
That said, I'm not opposed to trying it one day soon. This is a little more my speed right now I think.
That said, I'm not opposed to trying it one day soon. This is a little more my speed right now I think.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 2,576
I get it. It feels like a big leap. I remember thinking that once I said it out loud, it became a real thing... One that I couldn't walk back or unsay. I would have to take some action. Just know that no know one will judge you in a meeting. Newcomers are the bright spots of our day!
Starting here is a great first step. You will find many suggestions and alternate routes that can work for you.
Shame is a horrible emotion. Mine grows in the dark, but when I let it out and share it, it loses its power over me. It can for you too
Starting here is a great first step. You will find many suggestions and alternate routes that can work for you.
Shame is a horrible emotion. Mine grows in the dark, but when I let it out and share it, it loses its power over me. It can for you too
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,894
Welcome to SR Samj 
Perhaps read and respond to other SR members going though the same as you.
This is a peer to peer support recovery site, so feel at home and jump right on in.
Perhaps read and respond to other SR members going though the same as you.
This is a peer to peer support recovery site, so feel at home and jump right on in.
Sober Date: March 10, 2013
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 270
Hi Sam. It’s my first day too, and my first day back to this forum. I joined Sober Recovery in 2013 and did quite a stretch of time sober. This forum was a big part of that to keep me in check and help me make the choice every day to not drink every day. And it felt really good. My body felt so much better, my sleep was better, my outlook on life, my peace in my soul.
Yet, somewhere, someday, I thought I’d have a glass of wine. Then daily again, but I thought I had it under control. I can live like that for a while, until it just takes control and you -always- need it, always want it. Sadly, loosing a relationship, then the pandemic and my job because of it, it’s gotten really out of control.
You’re my first connection, my first post, my first hello (again) here. And I just wanted you to know I’m routing for you. Keep making friends here, keep checking in. You’re allowing me to tell this to my Self too, so thank you.
love, phebe.
Yet, somewhere, someday, I thought I’d have a glass of wine. Then daily again, but I thought I had it under control. I can live like that for a while, until it just takes control and you -always- need it, always want it. Sadly, loosing a relationship, then the pandemic and my job because of it, it’s gotten really out of control.
You’re my first connection, my first post, my first hello (again) here. And I just wanted you to know I’m routing for you. Keep making friends here, keep checking in. You’re allowing me to tell this to my Self too, so thank you.
love, phebe.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Sam - Please don't feel ashamed. You're among friends who understand, like no one else can. We're here to encourage you as you get free.
I drank decades longer than you. When I was your age I saw the warning signs of addiction, but I did nothing to help myself. I kept trying to be a social drinker by using willpower. Of course it never worked, and in the end I was drinking all day with a ruined life. This won't happen to you. Very glad you have joined us.
I drank decades longer than you. When I was your age I saw the warning signs of addiction, but I did nothing to help myself. I kept trying to be a social drinker by using willpower. Of course it never worked, and in the end I was drinking all day with a ruined life. This won't happen to you. Very glad you have joined us.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome Sam (and welcome back Phebe)
SR really helped me turn my life around - my advice is to post and read here as much as you can. If you're interested in AA it's really never been easier - there are many zoom based meetings now- you don;t even have to leave the house
D
SR really helped me turn my life around - my advice is to post and read here as much as you can. If you're interested in AA it's really never been easier - there are many zoom based meetings now- you don;t even have to leave the house
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
Being scared is very normal. Being ashamed and embarrassed is also normal, but it's something you need to get past if you're going to recover. Shame and guilt will drive you back to drinking. So, just try to focus on staying sober each day and being willing to do whatever it takes.
Sober Date: March 10, 2013
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Welcome Sam (and welcome back Phebe)
SR really helped me turn my life around - my advice is to post and read here as much as you can. If you're interested in AA it's really never been easier - there are many zoom based meetings now- you don;t even have to leave the house
D
SR really helped me turn my life around - my advice is to post and read here as much as you can. If you're interested in AA it's really never been easier - there are many zoom based meetings now- you don;t even have to leave the house
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome Sam! I'd suggest that you start practicing gratitude every day. That helped me a lot (still does).
Phebe, try posting in the April class in newcomers forum. That's all you have to do to join is post.
I'd suggest that you start practicing gratitude every day. That helped me a lot (still does). Phebe, try posting in the April class in newcomers forum. That's all you have to do to join is post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Libby06
I get it. It feels like a big leap. I remember thinking that once I said it out loud, it became a real thing... One that I couldn't walk back or unsay. I would have to take some action. Just know that no know one will judge you in a meeting. Newcomers are the bright spots of our day!
Starting here is a great first step. You will find many suggestions and alternate routes that can work for you.
Shame is a horrible emotion. Mine grows in the dark, but when I let it out and share it, it loses its power over me. It can for you too
Starting here is a great first step. You will find many suggestions and alternate routes that can work for you.
Shame is a horrible emotion. Mine grows in the dark, but when I let it out and share it, it loses its power over me. It can for you too
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by phebe
Hi Sam. It’s my first day too, and my first day back to this forum. I joined Sober Recovery in 2013 and did quite a stretch of time sober. This forum was a big part of that to keep me in check and help me make the choice every day to not drink every day. And it felt really good. My body felt so much better, my sleep was better, my outlook on life, my peace in my soul.
Yet, somewhere, someday, I thought I’d have a glass of wine. Then daily again, but I thought I had it under control. I can live like that for a while, until it just takes control and you -always- need it, always want it. Sadly, loosing a relationship, then the pandemic and my job because of it, it’s gotten really out of control.
You’re my first connection, my first post, my first hello (again) here. And I just wanted you to know I’m routing for you. Keep making friends here, keep checking in. You’re allowing me to tell this to my Self too, so thank you.
love, phebe.
Yet, somewhere, someday, I thought I’d have a glass of wine. Then daily again, but I thought I had it under control. I can live like that for a while, until it just takes control and you -always- need it, always want it. Sadly, loosing a relationship, then the pandemic and my job because of it, it’s gotten really out of control.
You’re my first connection, my first post, my first hello (again) here. And I just wanted you to know I’m routing for you. Keep making friends here, keep checking in. You’re allowing me to tell this to my Self too, so thank you.
love, phebe.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Sam - Please don't feel ashamed. You're among friends who understand, like no one else can. We're here to encourage you as you get free.
I drank decades longer than you. When I was your age I saw the warning signs of addiction, but I did nothing to help myself. I kept trying to be a social drinker by using willpower. Of course it never worked, and in the end I was drinking all day with a ruined life. This won't happen to you. Very glad you have joined us.
I drank decades longer than you. When I was your age I saw the warning signs of addiction, but I did nothing to help myself. I kept trying to be a social drinker by using willpower. Of course it never worked, and in the end I was drinking all day with a ruined life. This won't happen to you. Very glad you have joined us.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Originally Posted by phebe
Hi D 🤗. I remember you well! I was part of ‘March Class 2013’. I can’t believe it’s still going! I’d like to find a new ‘Class’. Maybe Sam can join in as well. I didn’t see one, can you point me to one I may have missed?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/453442-class-april-2021-support-thread-part-two-2.html`
D
Sober Date: March 10, 2013
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 270
Thank you D! I was looking in the ‘support thread’ forum, not this ‘newcomers’ forum, that’s why I didn’t see it at first. I started following it now, and look to dip my toe in. Sam, this ‘class’ is how I stayed strong in my choice everyday to not drink. It’s basically just people like you and me starting on their day 1’s that month. You help each other stay focused on your goals and it’s a great place to ‘hang out’ during times you would be drinking. The class I was originally in, March 2013, is STILL going in the support thread forum 8 years later. That’s how strong the connections you make here can last! Whatever you choose, good luck to you today. I’m routing for you🙂
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