phoebe64

I think he probably just needed some alcohol to get through given the amount of daily drinking he does. I’m not sure it runs any deeper than that. I might even say he tried but was struggling. But, that’s his journey, not yours.

I don’t have long term sobriety yet, but am married to a drinker. We have kids, one 17, the other still in college. I’m financially dependent on him, now, after leaving my career to raise kids, then supported elderly in my family. It also allowed him to travel for work, which indirectly supported his career advances. Every time I try to get sober, I think about how it would be easier to do on my own. You have that choice without much tethering you. My guess is your financially independent, since he’s out of work.

You sound like you’ve made such great decisions about why you want to stop drinking. You sound so motivated and clear with great reasons to stop. Don’t let anyone get in your way.

DriGuy

There was one time I remember toward the end of my drinking when I managed to have only one drink, and I think I can explain the sullenness of your boyfriend. I was having dinner with my aunt at a restaurant, and since I didn't see my aunt that often, I would not drink around her because I didn't want her to see me for the lush I really was. But she decided we should have a drink, which of course I thought was great, and like an 800 lb gorilla of self discipline, I held it at one. What a rotten night it was after that, I wanted another (one is never enough), and I had to use a mountain of restraint, not to snap at my dear old aunt who would never do anything to warrant such behavior. All I could think was, "I want some more," and everything from then on was a unwanted distraction from thinking about what I wanted most.

furelite

After reading normal guy’s reply, I truly see how lucky I am. My best friend does not drink at all, never has. She was married to an alcoholic years ago.

BeABetterMan

So, I have more experience to share. When these women in my life would press me to cut back or quit, I would try. But inside I resented them for making me choose them or booze. “If they truly loved me they would accept my how I am-drunk or not.” “What happened to in sickness and in health?”.

My resentment ended up either sending me back to the bottle or pushing them away. I think I see where this is headed. I just hope you do what you think is right for you and carry no guilt. Who else will put your happiness first if not you?

furelite

Thanks better man. That gives me something to think about. I can understand both sides. My brother is pretty much a serious alcohol abuser, if not more, but his saintly sober wife drives him around and somehow turns the other cheek to his often outrageous behavior, all the while maintaining her angelic manner. I don’t know how honestly, but her love must be great. I don’t think I have that capacity.