Being Proactive and realistic!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 273
Being Proactive and realistic!
I am on day 9 today and I have not had any urge or desire to pick up a drink as of yet.
I know sooner or later I am going to face this challenge as this is not my first or one hundredth time trying to get sober!
What tricks do you have in your tool box to fight the urge when it happens to you?
appreciate your input and experience!
I know sooner or later I am going to face this challenge as this is not my first or one hundredth time trying to get sober!
What tricks do you have in your tool box to fight the urge when it happens to you?
appreciate your input and experience!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Congrats on 9 days! I struggle with drinking urges a lot, so am by no means an authority on this, except that's where I always slipped in the past. SMART Recovery has a bunch of very good urge management tools that you can find it their Handbook together with other useful methods for recovery, or separately also online for free. I liked attending their meetings also, because some of the groups do real-time practicing of the tools with the group, you can volunteer to lead it with your own personal version of urges, or come up with suggestions for others. Now I use AVRT more. Many people (e.g. here on SR) suggest reaching out to others when the urges hit, so others can respond and talk you out of it - that never helped me personally too much in the critical moments, but the methods I can apply anytime on my own are very effective given I keep my awareness up and actually apply them.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
Welcome to SR!
You just joined this website this month, and you already have 71 posts! I think you've already figured part of the solution.
Have you joined the Monthly Sobriety Class on this page? The March class is winding up in a few hours, but the April class of 2021 will start tomorrow. Why don't you join that (if you haven't already joined the March class)? The other key thing I did was to haul my butt to AA after many years of thinking I didn't need that. I found out that I did.
You just joined this website this month, and you already have 71 posts! I think you've already figured part of the solution.
Have you joined the Monthly Sobriety Class on this page? The March class is winding up in a few hours, but the April class of 2021 will start tomorrow. Why don't you join that (if you haven't already joined the March class)? The other key thing I did was to haul my butt to AA after many years of thinking I didn't need that. I found out that I did.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by Aellyce2 
Congrats on 9 days! I struggle with drinking urges a lot, so am by no means an authority on this, except that's where I always slipped in the past. SMART Recovery has a bunch of very good urge management tools that you can find it their Handbook together with other useful methods for recovery, or separately also online for free. I liked attending their meetings also, because some of the groups do real-time practicing of the tools with the group, you can volunteer to lead it with your own personal version of urges, or come up with suggestions for others. Now I use AVRT more. Many people (e.g. here on SR) suggest reaching out to others when the urges hit, so others can respond and talk you out of it - that never helped me personally too much in the critical moments, but the methods I can apply anytime on my own are very effective given I keep my awareness up and actually apply them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by Zebra1275
Welcome to SR!
You just joined this website this month, and you already have 71 posts! I think you've already figured part of the solution.
Have you joined the Monthly Sobriety Class on this page? The March class is winding up in a few hours, but the April class of 2021 will start tomorrow. Why don't you join that (if you haven't already joined the March class)? The other key thing I did was to haul my butt to AA after many years of thinking I didn't need that. I found out that I did.
You just joined this website this month, and you already have 71 posts! I think you've already figured part of the solution.
Have you joined the Monthly Sobriety Class on this page? The March class is winding up in a few hours, but the April class of 2021 will start tomorrow. Why don't you join that (if you haven't already joined the March class)? The other key thing I did was to haul my butt to AA after many years of thinking I didn't need that. I found out that I did.
I did join the March group and plan on joining the April I as well! I have tried AA in the past but it didn't seem to be a good fit for me at that time!
Maybe I should revisit AA and see how it feels!
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,515
I walked a lot, I always had something good to read and I had an upbeat music playlist ready at all times. Really, anything that works for you is what you could do. Of course, posting here will always help too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 56
That \urge surfing\, being mindful of the inner addictive voice and such which is not a real emotion but compulsion to do what you don\t want to do.
Last edited by yojimbo; 03-31-2021 at 03:50 PM. Reason: misworded a term
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,596
Lots of things I suppose, but 'playing the tape forward remembering my last drunk honestly, often got me through. Honesty has a lot to do with it I'm finding.
I'm reflecting on a lot of my 'drunks' now. My past generally. Not morbidly, but with fresh eyes that can now see how much of an 'alcoholic' I was. I can see 'past' the alcohol now. It has given me an opportunity to forgive myself. I'm grateful.
The remembering has been difficult, but better than amnesia, drunk.
The real remembering keeps me sober.
I'm reflecting on a lot of my 'drunks' now. My past generally. Not morbidly, but with fresh eyes that can now see how much of an 'alcoholic' I was. I can see 'past' the alcohol now. It has given me an opportunity to forgive myself. I'm grateful.
The remembering has been difficult, but better than amnesia, drunk.
The real remembering keeps me sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 2,576
I second the AA recommendation even though it didn't work in the past. I was a never AAer, but when I had almost 2 weeks sober, I knew I had to try something different. I tried to get sober more times than I could count, and more often than not, I caved between 2 weeks and a month.
My husband was in AA off and on for close to 30 years and like you, it didn't click with him, and he couldn't stay sober. This time he has for several years. The difference? The gift of desperation for one, and 2, he got a sponsor and actually worked the steps. He's not a religious man by any stretch, but he had finally had enough and knew it would kill him if he didn't quit.
For me, my first meeting they were talking my language. Saying things I thought and felt but was too embarrassed, ashamed or too afraid to say. They had what I wanted, so I did what they did.
I haven't met many people like me that didn't have alcohol whisper or scream in their ear to lure them back in. If it starts calling your name its worth another shot, they will be there. Alcohol is a really sneaky beast, and a liar.
Your doing great, and it's nice to see you posting so often. Its obvious that you really want this, and you can have it.
My husband was in AA off and on for close to 30 years and like you, it didn't click with him, and he couldn't stay sober. This time he has for several years. The difference? The gift of desperation for one, and 2, he got a sponsor and actually worked the steps. He's not a religious man by any stretch, but he had finally had enough and knew it would kill him if he didn't quit.
For me, my first meeting they were talking my language. Saying things I thought and felt but was too embarrassed, ashamed or too afraid to say. They had what I wanted, so I did what they did.
I haven't met many people like me that didn't have alcohol whisper or scream in their ear to lure them back in. If it starts calling your name its worth another shot, they will be there. Alcohol is a really sneaky beast, and a liar.
Your doing great, and it's nice to see you posting so often. Its obvious that you really want this, and you can have it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
Originally Posted by Steely
Lots of things I suppose, but 'playing the tape forward remembering my last drunk honestly, often got me through. Honesty has a lot to do with it I'm finding.
I'm reflecting on a lot of my 'drunks' now. My past generally. Not morbidly, but with fresh eyes that can now see how much of an 'alcoholic' I was. I can see 'past' the alcohol now. It has given me an opportunity to forgive myself. I'm grateful.
The remembering has been difficult, but better than amnesia, drunk.
The real remembering keeps me sober.
I'm reflecting on a lot of my 'drunks' now. My past generally. Not morbidly, but with fresh eyes that can now see how much of an 'alcoholic' I was. I can see 'past' the alcohol now. It has given me an opportunity to forgive myself. I'm grateful.
The remembering has been difficult, but better than amnesia, drunk.
The real remembering keeps me sober.
Remember why you are here.
Remember who you do not want to be anymore.
Know that alcohol will 100% take you back there.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by fishkiller
Hope you don't mind me quoting this but this is exactly what I did/ do.
Remember why you are here.
Remember who you do not want to be anymore.
Know that alcohol will 100% take you back there.
Remember why you are here.
Remember who you do not want to be anymore.
Know that alcohol will 100% take you back there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by Libby06
I second the AA recommendation even though it didn't work in the past. I was a never AAer, but when I had almost 2 weeks sober, I knew I had to try something different. I tried to get sober more times than I could count, and more often than not, I caved between 2 weeks and a month.
My husband was in AA off and on for close to 30 years and like you, it didn't click with him, and he couldn't stay sober. This time he has for several years. The difference? The gift of desperation for one, and 2, he got a sponsor and actually worked the steps. He's not a religious man by any stretch, but he had finally had enough and knew it would kill him if he didn't quit.
For me, my first meeting they were talking my language. Saying things I thought and felt but was too embarrassed, ashamed or too afraid to say. They had what I wanted, so I did what they did.
I haven't met many people like me that didn't have alcohol whisper or scream in their ear to lure them back in. If it starts calling your name its worth another shot, they will be there. Alcohol is a really sneaky beast, and a liar.
Your doing great, and it's nice to see you posting so often. Its obvious that you really want this, and you can have it.
My husband was in AA off and on for close to 30 years and like you, it didn't click with him, and he couldn't stay sober. This time he has for several years. The difference? The gift of desperation for one, and 2, he got a sponsor and actually worked the steps. He's not a religious man by any stretch, but he had finally had enough and knew it would kill him if he didn't quit.
For me, my first meeting they were talking my language. Saying things I thought and felt but was too embarrassed, ashamed or too afraid to say. They had what I wanted, so I did what they did.
I haven't met many people like me that didn't have alcohol whisper or scream in their ear to lure them back in. If it starts calling your name its worth another shot, they will be there. Alcohol is a really sneaky beast, and a liar.
Your doing great, and it's nice to see you posting so often. Its obvious that you really want this, and you can have it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by Steely
Lots of things I suppose, but 'playing the tape forward remembering my last drunk honestly, often got me through. Honesty has a lot to do with it I'm finding.
I'm reflecting on a lot of my 'drunks' now. My past generally. Not morbidly, but with fresh eyes that can now see how much of an 'alcoholic' I was. I can see 'past' the alcohol now. It has given me an opportunity to forgive myself. I'm grateful.
The remembering has been difficult, but better than amnesia, drunk.
The real remembering keeps me sober.
I'm reflecting on a lot of my 'drunks' now. My past generally. Not morbidly, but with fresh eyes that can now see how much of an 'alcoholic' I was. I can see 'past' the alcohol now. It has given me an opportunity to forgive myself. I'm grateful.
The remembering has been difficult, but better than amnesia, drunk.
The real remembering keeps me sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by Anna
I walked a lot, I always had something good to read and I had an upbeat music playlist ready at all times. Really, anything that works for you is what you could do. Of course, posting here will always help too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Urge surfing is a technique that served me so well in my early days of sobriety. It's a mindfulness concept that continues to aid me to this day, with things that aren't necessarily alcohol related. Dee has a great link he often shares. Congrats. Do the work and it will get better every day.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by lessgravity
Urge surfing is a technique that served me so well in my early days of sobriety. It's a mindfulness concept that continues to aid me to this day, with things that aren't necessarily alcohol related. Dee has a great link he often shares. Congrats. Do the work and it will get better every day.
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