Day 0
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 870
Day 0
I gave in at 12 days when my dear friend died of Covid . Also my son told me he’d dropped out of college and needed money. I am refusing to give any. He had his student grant until July and has blown all of it. I was drinking constantly for one week and am at the end of my tether ! I finally stopped around midnight last night. I am now retching and feel terrible !
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
That is a lot to deal with. As a mother of a 19 years old who also dropped out recently, I really feel you.
You had 12 days and that says a lot about what you can do. In my first year sober I lost two family members. Being sober may not solve all of our problems but it brings stability and the ability to navigate these difficult situations with confidence...no guilt, no shame. My child is driving me nuts but I like who I am. 1.5 years ago, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror.
Don't beat yourself up. Getting sober is hard work but you've already proven you can do it. And it gets sooo much easier as time passes.
Congrats on not giving up!
You had 12 days and that says a lot about what you can do. In my first year sober I lost two family members. Being sober may not solve all of our problems but it brings stability and the ability to navigate these difficult situations with confidence...no guilt, no shame. My child is driving me nuts but I like who I am. 1.5 years ago, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror.
Don't beat yourself up. Getting sober is hard work but you've already proven you can do it. And it gets sooo much easier as time passes.
Congrats on not giving up!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Very sorry to hear of your loss and the situation with your son. Good to hear that you are holding your ground and letting him figure out his financial situation on his own, most worthwhile lessons in life are hard ones to learn. Getting sober will allow you to deal with what life brings you in a much easier fashion, I hope we can help you with your goal.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
I've lost count of how many times I had to pick myself up after a relapse before my current 2002 sobriety date. Recovery always begins again with a decision to stay sober. The critical difference for me between the decision I made in 2002 and all the prior decisions was that in 2002 I made a decision to commit to the entirety of the A.A. recovery program -- including meetings, step work, and service. Specifically, my initial commitment consisted of the following:
1. Get on my knees each morning and night, asking Higher Power to keep me sober in the morning & thanking HP for keeping me sober at night.
2. Attend at least 1 A.A. meeting per day for 90 days.
3. Read the first 164 pages of the Big Book, underlining everything I can relate to (i.e., I thought that, felt that, did that).
4. Get a home group and a service commitment.
5. Call my sponsor every day.
I did not do any of this perfectly, but I stopped being defiant about any of it -- and that has made all the difference.
1. Get on my knees each morning and night, asking Higher Power to keep me sober in the morning & thanking HP for keeping me sober at night.
2. Attend at least 1 A.A. meeting per day for 90 days.
3. Read the first 164 pages of the Big Book, underlining everything I can relate to (i.e., I thought that, felt that, did that).
4. Get a home group and a service commitment.
5. Call my sponsor every day.
I did not do any of this perfectly, but I stopped being defiant about any of it -- and that has made all the difference.
hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Here you go! You will need to scroll to the last page.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
I'm sorry for all the bad news you've been trying to deal with. I think we have to realize drinking doesn't do a thing to help us. I always turned to it when trouble came, but all it did was compound my misery & make me even more anxious. It sounds like you've learned something valuable. You can get free & stay that way. Now you'll be even more determined, Ican. 
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