jim86

I'm seven months in to sobriety and, having lost my dad recently to liver issues, I know that this is the way forward for me.

I've found a lot of tools that help me stay sober - books, podcasts, exercise, eating right - one thing I'm struggling with though it friendships and I think it's the biggest threat to my sobriety.

I suppose like most drinkers a lot of my friendships revolved around going out for drinks and I don't really know how to keep those relationships going or if I even want to.

Obviously sites like this are hugely helpful to get a sense of community but I could still do with finding sober people locally.

Just wondered if anybody has any thoughts on this or on continuing friendships with old drinking buddies?

Dee74

Hi Jim
I found I reconnected with alot of old friends who weren't heavy drinkers and who I'd naturally drifted away from, or them from me. I also got back into hobbies and met new friends that way?

All this was pre COVID of course but I believe things will surely get better soon.

D

D122y

My old good friends are still my friends. I am the only one the quit drinking. Most of the older ones claim to hardly drink at all. I can't relate to that.

As an addict for life, I know that if the door is open to me for drinking, i might have 1 drink here and there, but soon enough, I would drink nearly a whole bottle of something and that would nearly kill me.

I tried AA friends, but I was having a difficult time with that. AA seemed to take over everything, which is better than relapsing, but not better than doing other things if I can stay sober without AA.

Love love love.

Thanks.

WindPines

I'm in my first month of sobriety, and just wanted to post to say awesome work on getting sober, and staying sober for 7 months. I can relate about finding sober friends... I'm trying AA, and I'm obviously on here. Chat any time!

jim86

Thanks everybody. Some great tips.

I'm considering giving AA a shot but am really unsure about it. Suppose I don't have anything to lose by going to a meeting though, right?

fishkiller

Good work on 7 months!
Being in England it is harder to meet folks due to restrictions I am sure but once I got sober and started changing to fit that lifestyle and being more open and honest People just started to come around. I have never made more friends in such a short period of time. All without trying.

Be a good person and you will attract good people

DriGuy

Yes, the friend issue requires some action for many of us. I had to cut some of them off, as they were the wrong thing I needed at the worst time possible. But I didn't have to dump all of my friends. Later on, I found I didn't enjoy being around heavy drinkers because I realized they weren't the fun I thought they were. I did start going to AA, and the friendship there was invaluable, for me, even more important than the program itself. Forums were not around back then. At least I wasn't aware of them, but I think SR would have sufficed nicely.

advbike

I drifted away from the partiers over the years, as too difficult. I still have a few childhood friends and close friends made along the career path and have made some new friends through my avocations such as cycling, motorcycling and travel.

jim86

Thanks again guys.

@fishkiller is definitely right, the restrictions in England definitely make things a lot more difficult at the moment - hopefully things will be opening back up in the next few months though.

kinzoku

Theres kind of a few paths I take with this one. One is just forcing friends to do non drinking things. I love walks, I love brunch. One is that non drinking people began to appear in my life, and that the people I though I could only hang around with in bars turned out to be functioning human beings (unlike my drinking self) who were very capable of just...hanging out...in a normal way. The third way, which i think can be very dangerous for some but I do now that I have a bit more time behind me, is I go to bars with them If they want.... and I go crazy with my diet cokes. No one seems to mind.