Valentines Support Thread 2021
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Valentines Support Thread 2021
Hi guys 
Valentines Day can be tricky - especially if you're newly sober.
Those of us 'attached' have the problem of how to celebrate sober....those of us 'single' or estranged or mourning a loved one or having survived an abusive relationship, often have a pretty rough time on this day.
This year, too, there may be many of us not able to be with partners due to lockdowns and COVID
No matter what category we fall into we may have to deal with the temptation to drink or use.
Just wanted to reassure everyone that no one needs to do this alone - if you need help - ask for it
Post here if you need support, or need reminding that you're awesome
Lets all make it a sober Valentines day !
D
Valentines Day can be tricky - especially if you're newly sober.
Those of us 'attached' have the problem of how to celebrate sober....those of us 'single' or estranged or mourning a loved one or having survived an abusive relationship, often have a pretty rough time on this day.
This year, too, there may be many of us not able to be with partners due to lockdowns and COVID
No matter what category we fall into we may have to deal with the temptation to drink or use.
Just wanted to reassure everyone that no one needs to do this alone - if you need help - ask for it
Post here if you need support, or need reminding that you're awesome
Lets all make it a sober Valentines day !
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Celebrating my Valentines weekend with the love of my life, my 8 year old daughter. We had giant heart shaped donuts for breakfast!
It would be nice to have a significant other but I’m not ready mentally and emotionally and I recognize that. My sobriety is too important and I don’t know if I can handle the potential stress and emotional roller coaster of a relationship. Unhealthy relationships have been huge triggers for me in the past. It’s actually what started my journey with sobriety in 2017 when I joined here.
So I’ll be exactly where I want to be.
It would be nice to have a significant other but I’m not ready mentally and emotionally and I recognize that. My sobriety is too important and I don’t know if I can handle the potential stress and emotional roller coaster of a relationship. Unhealthy relationships have been huge triggers for me in the past. It’s actually what started my journey with sobriety in 2017 when I joined here.
So I’ll be exactly where I want to be.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 175
Valentine's day could easily be a trigger! I will dive for a meeting or call a sober buddy on the 14th. I will exercise daily and meditate/pray. Reading the big book and frequenting these forums will be in my day as well! Can't forget a long walk, cold plunge in the river and sauna trip. Sobriety is so much easier when you actively recover!
Anyone can feel free to reach out for support or comment. All the best fam!
Anyone can feel free to reach out for support or comment. All the best fam!
Erica375
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: MA
Posts: 493
I will be spending Valentine's Day with my dear little Puggle, Daisy Lou, and I'm fine with that! 😃💕💞💖
A nice dinner for me, some extra doggie treats for Daisy, and a fire in the wood stove will be perfect.
Love to all!
A nice dinner for me, some extra doggie treats for Daisy, and a fire in the wood stove will be perfect.
Love to all!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: here & there
Posts: 268
Yeah.
I had to look that one up on the urban dictionary thing too....
Along with afk..."away from keyboard"
Day Zero for me.....just feeling so subhuman that I've got to step it down.
Day One tomorrow after a cook, a lot of water, a meal in a bit, some TV, then try and sleep it out.
Really want out of this now. Felt so sick this afternoon, the day so hot....
But you all know how it is
I had to look that one up on the urban dictionary thing too....
Along with afk..."away from keyboard"
Day Zero for me.....just feeling so subhuman that I've got to step it down.
Day One tomorrow after a cook, a lot of water, a meal in a bit, some TV, then try and sleep it out.
Really want out of this now. Felt so sick this afternoon, the day so hot....
But you all know how it is
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Day 1 looks pretty positive sodasoba.
I know what you mean by, "really want out of this now." I've been "out of it" for 13+ months now, and it is so much better. It's even getting better.
Don't have to feel sick anymore.
Tfw you know it's the way to go.
Learning the lingo.
I know what you mean by, "really want out of this now." I've been "out of it" for 13+ months now, and it is so much better. It's even getting better.
Don't have to feel sick anymore.
Tfw you know it's the way to go.
Learning the lingo.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by Steely 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
Thanks for reminding me it's Valentine's Day! (Seriously, I was sitting here lost in thought and now I realize I need to go get some flowers for my wife.)
And thanks also for creating a thread for folks to chime in on the stresses of this day. From at least one perspective, I think this holiday may border on some version of evil because the folks in loving relationships don't need a special day and those who aren't where they want to be in terms of loving relationships don't need to be reminded of that -- the only ones who really benefit are the flower and chocolate sellers. (Feel free to file the preceding under: "Get off my lawn!" [shakes fist].)
Bottom line: I can't afford to stay disturbed for any meaningful length of time because that cuts me off from the sunlight of the spirit and a drink is next. As the Big Book says in the context of resentments: "[W]ith the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die."
So, here's my two-step first aid for Valentine's Day (and other) disturbances: (1) I get on my knees and ask God to remove my disturbance; (2) I turn my attention to recovery (ideally by going to a meeting, but at the very least by calling another alcoholic). Repeat as often as necessary.
And thanks also for creating a thread for folks to chime in on the stresses of this day. From at least one perspective, I think this holiday may border on some version of evil because the folks in loving relationships don't need a special day and those who aren't where they want to be in terms of loving relationships don't need to be reminded of that -- the only ones who really benefit are the flower and chocolate sellers. (Feel free to file the preceding under: "Get off my lawn!" [shakes fist].)
Bottom line: I can't afford to stay disturbed for any meaningful length of time because that cuts me off from the sunlight of the spirit and a drink is next. As the Big Book says in the context of resentments: "[W]ith the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die."
So, here's my two-step first aid for Valentine's Day (and other) disturbances: (1) I get on my knees and ask God to remove my disturbance; (2) I turn my attention to recovery (ideally by going to a meeting, but at the very least by calling another alcoholic). Repeat as often as necessary.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by SaturatedSeize
Celebrating my Valentines weekend with the love of my life, my 8 year old daughter. We had giant heart shaped donuts for breakfast!
It would be nice to have a significant other but I’m not ready mentally and emotionally and I recognize that. My sobriety is too important and I don’t know if I can handle the potential stress and emotional roller coaster of a relationship. Unhealthy relationships have been huge triggers for me in the past. It’s actually what started my journey with sobriety in 2017 when I joined here.
So I’ll be exactly where I want to be.
It would be nice to have a significant other but I’m not ready mentally and emotionally and I recognize that. My sobriety is too important and I don’t know if I can handle the potential stress and emotional roller coaster of a relationship. Unhealthy relationships have been huge triggers for me in the past. It’s actually what started my journey with sobriety in 2017 when I joined here.
So I’ll be exactly where I want to be.
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