Anyone relate?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 63
Anyone relate?
Since getting sober over 6 months ago I've experienced some brilliant spells and a few rocky ones. I'm feeling like I'm in a rocky one at the minute....
It's centered around my job. I'm finding things really tough at the minute. I've been working at a really stressful building with oversight of 50 staff I'm in h and s care. I work as a manager and I oversee a few other places too, big organisation I work for and since onset if pandemic, everything has switched to online meetings. This has led to involvement from loads of different people with multiple projects. My manager at best is fairly robotic, does not appear to understand empathy and I'm finding I'm not really clicking with them. There is no working relationship to speak of. I do what is asked and try and understand where they are steering things but just don't feel any real interest or motivation at the minute which is a dangerous place to be
It's not for the want if trying, I'm going in every day, trying to put a brave front on things but finding that I'm growing tired of the endless meetings, cyclical discussions, lack of productive discussion. Stress is building and I'm burned out. I just had a week off last week
I don't know where to turn right now, I tokd my employer that I was recovering from alcoholism. Nothing I can do about that now but I told a higher manager who was really supportive and continues to be this way
It's dog eat dog in there at the minute, too many people involved in too many projects, lot of investigations and issues going on around me and I'm struggling with feelings of apathy, stress, anxiety, low mood, racing thoughts etc. Already on ad's from gp and max dose but feel absolutely spent up
My confidence is dwindling, too many cooks spoil the broth, too many meetings, lack of confidence in my immediate manager, fear of getting into trouble, paranoia. Its just getting to breaking point
I don't want to go off sick with anxiety and stress but recognise I'm not functioning properly and I'm trying to accept the position for what it is but nothings improving. I'm trying to focus on what I'm good at and doing more if that but I'm getti g easily overwhelmed
If my manager asks if I'm ok, I'm telling him I am because I don't trust them to share the struggles as fear it won't make sense as I can't pin point anything specific, I just know things don't feel right
I've enrolled on a 9 month support course for stress, I'm **** scared over my job, my livelihood and only just took a mortgage on
Obvs not going to drink over this but need to get it out somewhere, somehow otherwise its going to eat me up and make me ill
Would love to hear from anyone who has struggled with low confidence at work in early recovery, what helped, what didn't, how best to manage stress and how to stop the endless worry about bei g judged negatively by others
Stewy x
It's centered around my job. I'm finding things really tough at the minute. I've been working at a really stressful building with oversight of 50 staff I'm in h and s care. I work as a manager and I oversee a few other places too, big organisation I work for and since onset if pandemic, everything has switched to online meetings. This has led to involvement from loads of different people with multiple projects. My manager at best is fairly robotic, does not appear to understand empathy and I'm finding I'm not really clicking with them. There is no working relationship to speak of. I do what is asked and try and understand where they are steering things but just don't feel any real interest or motivation at the minute which is a dangerous place to be
It's not for the want if trying, I'm going in every day, trying to put a brave front on things but finding that I'm growing tired of the endless meetings, cyclical discussions, lack of productive discussion. Stress is building and I'm burned out. I just had a week off last week
I don't know where to turn right now, I tokd my employer that I was recovering from alcoholism. Nothing I can do about that now but I told a higher manager who was really supportive and continues to be this way
It's dog eat dog in there at the minute, too many people involved in too many projects, lot of investigations and issues going on around me and I'm struggling with feelings of apathy, stress, anxiety, low mood, racing thoughts etc. Already on ad's from gp and max dose but feel absolutely spent up
My confidence is dwindling, too many cooks spoil the broth, too many meetings, lack of confidence in my immediate manager, fear of getting into trouble, paranoia. Its just getting to breaking point
I don't want to go off sick with anxiety and stress but recognise I'm not functioning properly and I'm trying to accept the position for what it is but nothings improving. I'm trying to focus on what I'm good at and doing more if that but I'm getti g easily overwhelmed
If my manager asks if I'm ok, I'm telling him I am because I don't trust them to share the struggles as fear it won't make sense as I can't pin point anything specific, I just know things don't feel right
I've enrolled on a 9 month support course for stress, I'm **** scared over my job, my livelihood and only just took a mortgage on
Obvs not going to drink over this but need to get it out somewhere, somehow otherwise its going to eat me up and make me ill
Would love to hear from anyone who has struggled with low confidence at work in early recovery, what helped, what didn't, how best to manage stress and how to stop the endless worry about bei g judged negatively by others
Stewy x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I totally get it. Corporate life isn't for everyone. When I was younger and still drinking I worked a Fortune 50 company for 16 years. Did great in field analyst and first line manager positions (customer-facing) but they kept promoting me. I was idealistic and always did well working with clients but once I got into senior management positions it started to get rough. Entertaining big clients, more meetings, tons of process, and tough decisions. Having to motivate others when you lack confidence was tough. I was struggling with my drinking, Eventually you don't get to work directly with the clients anymore, the part I did best at.
The last year I was there I was an acting VP with half the US and 650 direct reports, including 36 managers. We were having a structural reorganization. It's was all about motivating the teams, big bureaucracy and tough trade-offs, people decisions (layoffs), etc. Guys you had drank beers with. I did the best I could, but the BS and anxiety was punishing. I finally took a package and got out. I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't go back into the corporate world for 5 years. When I did it was lower level and I hated it even more so I retired early.
Think about what else you might be interested in doing. It's important to find meaning, which I had when I worked in the field with customers, and as an early manager. ALWAYS take care of your people and your clients (internal or external) and you will be successful and get the intrinsic reward from helping others. I went back for a masters degree while still employed. When I left I had business skills applicable to many fields. Make it a priority to have an endpoint goal. In a corporate job most people could retire in 5-10 years if they made it a priority to save and didn't keep buying new cars, homes, TV's etc.. That's the beauty of the corporate job.
The last year I was there I was an acting VP with half the US and 650 direct reports, including 36 managers. We were having a structural reorganization. It's was all about motivating the teams, big bureaucracy and tough trade-offs, people decisions (layoffs), etc. Guys you had drank beers with. I did the best I could, but the BS and anxiety was punishing. I finally took a package and got out. I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't go back into the corporate world for 5 years. When I did it was lower level and I hated it even more so I retired early.
Think about what else you might be interested in doing. It's important to find meaning, which I had when I worked in the field with customers, and as an early manager. ALWAYS take care of your people and your clients (internal or external) and you will be successful and get the intrinsic reward from helping others. I went back for a masters degree while still employed. When I left I had business skills applicable to many fields. Make it a priority to have an endpoint goal. In a corporate job most people could retire in 5-10 years if they made it a priority to save and didn't keep buying new cars, homes, TV's etc.. That's the beauty of the corporate job.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 103
I get it too. The time course of it doesn't surprise me either, since I was dealing with the same thing and am still dealing with the same thing after 2+ years. I'm still not happy with my work situation and am currently stuck in a holding pattern with no insights or anything for another 4 months. However, I'm exploring new areas and have opportunities I can pursue if need be.
The only advice I can offer, is you have to learn you either have to learn to deal with it sober or that you need to change the situation so that you can stay sober. I found dealing with it much harder going from my first year of sobriety to my second. It's gotten a bit easier to deal with in this second year of sobriety, but there have been some trying times even now.
The only advice I can offer, is you have to learn you either have to learn to deal with it sober or that you need to change the situation so that you can stay sober. I found dealing with it much harder going from my first year of sobriety to my second. It's gotten a bit easier to deal with in this second year of sobriety, but there have been some trying times even now.
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