2muchpain

Partially due to my decisions. Partially due to things out of my control. It is what it is I guess. Many people in worse situations than me so am feeling lucky in a way. Everybody here that has talked about making a gratitude list has helped me a lot to get through these tough times and I really appreciate it. I might be alone in my apartment but I am strong and have been through much worse. I don't go down without a fight. It really doesn't matter that I don't have anybody calling me or checking to see if i am ok. I am much stronger than that. John

fishkiller

Sorry to here John
As long as you are here you will never be completely alone.

Surrendered19

Can you get out and make connections with people John? I know that is risky while COVID run rampant depending on where you live. Volunteering is a great way to connect with others in real life and there are other ways too. I'm sorry you are feeling alone but I must say your perspective on the situation seems very healthy, although I disagree with your assessment that it doesn't matter that you have nobody to call you or check on you. I think that does matter and I hope that changes for you. Do you call others and check on others?

Dee74

You have a lot of friends here John
I’m in lockdown this weekend but speaking to others here is helping me feel connected.

What’s the lockdown situation where you are?
are you working?

what have you been doing with your day?

D

Anna

John, there are lots of people here who care about you.

PuckLuck

Right there with ya buddy. Hang tough. Not alone.

advbike

Thanks for sharing, John. I understand. I moved a lot over the years and slowly drifted away from many of my friends, while I remained mostly single. After my divorce in my late 30's I was focused on my career and shorter term relationships, and my drinking, while not especially heavy, increased my tendency to isolate, and my codependency issues. I retired early 10 years ago and began spending several months a year overseas as I love the tropics and my gf is there. Unfortunately I came back in March when Covid erupted, thinking it would be better to be here (LOL) and am stuck here now by myself, completely isolated and living in the state with the highest Covid rate. So it goes..

I try to keep in touch - mostly via technology, due to Covid. I video chat with my gf every day and I reach out to a few close friends who live in other states by phone or text regularly. Not into social media. I am fortunate to be surrounded by wildlife and scenery so I try to get out every day to hike and bike or ride the motorcycle. By wallking around I have met a few neighbors who I can chat with. I find it very important to focus on the basics - cooking good food every day, getting plenty of exercise and sleep, enjoying some hobbies. But yes, isolation is not good. We must reach out. I find posting on SR very helpful, especially trying to help the newcomers. You have many friends here - stop by more often!

Bubovski

There are many different forums here on S,R, on a diverse range of topics.
While company is nice solitude too can have its own reward.

EllyB

This whole COVID thing bites. It also makes sobriety harder to take. I do like the idea of volunteering though... Second Harvest here in the US needs a people to pass out boxes, and I think that sounds like a great opportunity.

least

(((John))) It's awful feeling alone and abandoned. I know we're not the same as having people to be with in real life, but covid makes that pretty hard anyway.

I credit Billie and my cats for saving my sanity and helping me feel less alone.

2muchpain

For better or worse, there's not much of a lockdown where I live. The governor here doesn't believe in it. Unfortunately, the virus is spreading big time. I worry more and more about going out and doing anything, but I take all the precautions that are suggested. Unlike many people my life hasn't changed much. Still working a few times a week and going to the gym. But my area has seen a major increase in the virus, so not sure if I should continue to keep doing what I am doing. Like many people, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place financially. Just took a major financial hit that hurt a lot. Set me back big time. But the more I work, the better the chance of getting sick. Not having anybody to help me if should get sick really worries me. Pretty much screwed if I end up in the hospital. But like I said before; I am really grateful for all I have. I can afford to pay my rent, have food and can pay my bills. Just don't know how long that will last. Scary. John

advbike

Hang in there man, and be careful indoors. The new variants are far more contagious and spreading rapidly now. I'm also in a state where many ignore precautions and Gov refuses a mask mandate, although my city has one. We ultimately have to protect ourselves. I'm the same - no one here to help me if I get it, so I'm not messing around with it.

2muchpain

I guess the reason I started this thread was because I'm scared of the future. Things just don't look good for me right now. Actually thought about suicide for the first time in a very long time. Nothing to worry about but just the thought concerned me. I've been here before and have always been able to work myself out of it. I'm a pretty stubborn person and never give up without a fight. I'm a lucky guy and have to remind myself of that. John

2muchpain

I called my sister a few days ago and that helped. John

2muchpain

Good luck. Being alone right now really sucks. Stay strong. John

Dee74

I know you said it was a passing thought but there are numbers to call if you ever need them John.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html

The future can look scary - but it's always turned out ok for me, and I expect for you too.

We have to stay sober too cos nothing produces despair and fear like drinking.

We'll get through this
D

Bethany57

I am so sorry you feel alone. I think loneliness is rampant now. Please take care and be kind to yourself.

Delilah1

Hi John,

I'm sorry you’re feeling so alone, this has definitely been a challenging year. It sounds like you’re going to work, do you have the opportunity to interact from a distance with colleagues? I have been working throughout the pandemic as well, and following Covid protocols, I enjoy getting to at least see my colleagues, even though the majority of our meetings are virtual. Sometimes we will spread out in a large room just so we can interact.

This is is a wonderful place to stay connected, and if you are feeling at all suicidal definitely call 911 or make an appointment with your doctor to go see a counselor.

Im glad you’re looking at what you have to be grateful for, that’s helped me to keep a positive mindset even when it felt like things were falling apart around me.

Sending you lots of love!

❤️Delilah

Raeven58

Hi John. Everyone is different. I felt a little guilty because my circumstances were not as bad as some others, but that doesn't mean they're not bad. It's different for all of us. A key for me is stop kicking myself and not compare myself. I'm on day 13 so learning to be kind to myself. Posting, reading...lots of very caring people here.

GroundhogDay

Hi John. I think it is a lonely and stressful time for everyone. I only have in-person contact with my husband, and occasionally people outdoors (from at least six feet away). I intend to continue to do so until I get vaccinated. I count myself lucky that we live in an age when technology can connect us all virtually. Stay strong and come to this forum anytime you need some company.