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Day 13, yikes...very stressed need ideas

Old 01-09-2021, 07:16 AM
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Day 13, yikes...very stressed need ideas

Not political, just very stressed by recent events. I try to turn off SM and TV, but those are also addictions in their way. Also fighting with my dental insurance over not covering a broken tooth while waiting for final appt. In current environment it is taking months to get in.

I wanted wine so much the last couple nights, just to turn off my brain. Herbal tea was a poor substitute. I'm pretty early, and very determined, but this is hard.

Suggestions, please?. I tried unplugging, keep coming back.
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Old 01-09-2021, 07:38 AM
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You have 13 days....tell yourself you do not want to give that up! You are doing amazing! I understand what you mean about the dental insurance....getting a crown this week! Wishing you all the best. You can do this.
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Old 01-09-2021, 07:41 AM
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The current events are very intense politics aside. I do understand where you are coming from. I do hear your need to escape. Sobriety requires building a sober muscle. Initially we are not that strong and stressors can send us into wanting to use the one thing that seemingly reduced our stress or helped us to forget.

I can only tell you what I do.
I take a bath. Drink tea. Read on here. Watch a series. The whole series. Take a run. Clean. Avoid social media (deleted my accounts months ago) Rinse and repeat. I do not take in too much news. I read headlines and possibly an article or two but it is very limited.

Social media is an addiction as far as I can see. I actually went through a withdrawal period when I deleted my accounts. I didn't just deactivate. I deleted them FOREVER. My brain wanted to check FB or Instagram or Twitter for a few weeks after the deletion. There is nothing there to check and I am healthier for it. I hear my friends ask when I am coming back and I reply "Never. I really do not need to see everyone's opinion on the current events and I don't really care about your food intake" ...... I digress. The initial few weeks are very hard and this is to be acknowledged. Staying sober is hard at first. REAL HARD. You got this. We are here. Post as often and as much as you need.

The dental insurance nightmare will not be a nightmare eventually. I am sorry you are dealing with that. We have a lot of that type of stuff in our household. It all works out eventually. It has too, right?
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:03 AM
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Day 13 is great, but it's not surprising that you're having some strong cravings. Your AV wants to win and it knows it's losing right now, so stay strong and it will easier.

I think part of the recovery journey is finding things that help you de-stress and relax. I had no clue what would work for me so it was new territory.
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:08 AM
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Ditto! I had this within the first week or two. Anything you drink now will be no substitute for alcohol.

Do something to take your mind off this fretting. Go for a run, walk or drive. Eat a whole tub of ice cream! Buy a painting kit and paint pictures of landscapes. Whilst you’re doing all that, your body’s getting used to a life of no alcohol. It’ll be over in a week or two.

Any alcohol in the house, get rid today.
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Hodd View Post
Ditto!
Any alcohol in the house, get rid today.
Nothing in the house, did that day 1. May try crafting, good idea. No ice cream, insert frowning, diabetic. Same with running, bad joints. Not much for cold so not outside like I am usually for 7 months of the year. But, thank you. Been thinking of starting a new quilt, I think it's time.
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:33 AM
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Turning my brain off in a healthy manner was an impossibly, so what I did was to redirect my brain and take it's focus off of alcohol. I walked a lot. I shot a lot of basketball. I played with my dog. It didn't take long for some simple redirection to bring about change. Usually after 15-30 minutes of an activity, my brain had let go of it's intense focus on alcohol and things leveled out.

As I typed this, I couldn't help but chuckle at myself and an analogy that popped into my head, but it was so true for me. I was like a tiny baby in a crib, I just needed a new shiny bauble to grab my attention. To always look at the world with the eyes of child, filled with awe and wonder is my goal.

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Old 01-09-2021, 08:35 AM
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Good to hear!

Sorry, the ice cream idea is poor form on my part. It’s not healthy for anyone, but my thinking is it’s way way less addictive that alcohol. For a diabetic, steer clear obviously.

It sounds like you’re doing really really well. The anxiety is normal and the craving is sadly all too consuming. I felt despair some days as I thought every evening would be like that for the rest of my days, but I promise you it starts to ease off. Your cravings have probably started to subside without you knowing.

I’m not arty or crafty, but to make a quilt during your alcohol withdrawal would be am amazing achievement and something you’d always treasure and look upon as a reminder. It’s one of the best ideas I’ve seen and I wish I’d done something like that
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:42 AM
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YES! Get out those quilting supplies and make the biggest quilt you have ever seen and then enter into the Book Of World Records!
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:47 AM
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Unfortunately there will be periods of urges that are going to SUCK and since your brain/chemistry is used to drinking as it's primary soothing technique - it will fight hard to get that back. The suggestions given are already good. I like the idea of crafting. Keeps your brain and hands busy. I've had days where I just had to pout and be frustrated and hit bed really early - even when sleeping was hard, I would lay there like the day is done - booze is not an option.

It will pass. Everytime it passes those sober muscles build up. There will be other times when cravings hit hard. I went through nasty ones at 1.5 years. They eventually get less intense and frequent. Hang in there, I'm rooting for you!
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Hodd View Post
Good to hear!

Sorry, the ice cream idea is poor form on my part. Itís not healthy for anyone, but my thinking is itís way way less addictive that alcohol. For a diabetic, steer clear obviously.

It sounds like youíre doing really really well. The anxiety is normal and the craving is sadly all too consuming. I felt despair some days as I thought every evening would be like that for the rest of my days, but I promise you it starts to ease off. Your cravings have probably started to subside without you knowing.

Iím not arty or crafty, but to make a quilt during your alcohol withdrawal would be am amazing achievement and something youíd always treasure and look upon as a reminder. Itís one of the best ideas Iíve seen and I wish Iíd done something like that
no worries on the ice cream. I used to say Hagen Daz came in convenient single servings, lol.
Early in my divorce process I took tshirts from my travels, cut them into sizes that matched the pictures,, sewed together by hand,, added backing, fill and edging,, all by hand, then hand tied to keep it from shifting. It isn't one of the gorgeous beauties most people think of, all different size blocks, but I love it, right down to the bad sticking in some spots. I have enough shirts set aside to.do another one, I think it's time. And you're right. It may remind me of surviving.
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:51 AM
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Hi Raven. For me, day 13(ish) has always been some of the worst. I think it's because the last drop of alcohol is leaving the body.

I'm on day 9 myself and not looking forward to it but I'm trying to view it as getting a fever when I get the flu. As unpleasant as it is, it's a good sign that we're moving in the right direction and the body is doing what it can to heal. Maybe you could try sitting with that knowledge the same way you would if you got a cold or flu? Curl up in bed and flip on the TV. Be good to yourself in any way you can the same way if you were sick, knowing that it won't be long before it gets better.
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:52 AM
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Been thinking of starting a new quilt, I think it's time.
That is an awesome idea. I wish I had thought of doing that. It would have fit into my redirection plan perfectly and doing it for 30 minutes at time, when I got squirrelly, it would have taken a while to complete plus I would have a tangible keepsake reminder. WOOT!
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Old 01-09-2021, 08:59 AM
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Sorry to hear you are struggling. If you were to ask me, I’d suggest you DO instead of THINK. If you can, take a longish walk or something like that. It might feel awkward in the beginning, but the mind calms down eventually. It takes mine about 45 minutes of exercise (I prefer bike riding) / moving before it all starts to evens out. If you’re lucky, you carry that calm the whole day. Make sure the exercise is relatively long in duration, but relatively low in intensity.

And this Christmas vacation I found out I really enjoy large jigsaw puzzles. I put on some music and my mind focuses completely on finding the pieces, almost blocking everything else out. I like to listen to ambient-music while puzzling but of course our taste may vary. If it’s your kind of thing, colouring books for adults can be pretty awesome too.

And...as always...LOTS of SoberRecovery forum visits! When I first quit, I devoured every thread I could get my hands on.

Hope this helps and I sincerely hope you will feel better in the very near future.

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Old 01-09-2021, 09:11 AM
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Originally Posted by FlyingDutchMan View Post
Hope this helps and I sincerely hope you will feel better in the very near future.
Thank you!!
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Old 01-09-2021, 09:16 AM
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Hang on tight
This too shall pass
You will be much stronger on the other side

If you enjoy quilting then do it.
No SM or TV. Turn on some music and quilt away.

I find it hard to get started doing things when I am unmotivated but seems once I start It all falls in place.
Just gotta take that 1st step
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Old 01-09-2021, 09:57 AM
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Sorry to hear you're struggling a bit Raeven. As the others said, it will pass. There will be ups and downs and you have handled them really well to get to this point of almost two weeks. I can't do much more than echo the other suggestions. A walk, a hot bath, classical music.. and especially the quilt sounds great because it is a "flow" activity - you get absorbed and the destructive random thoughts drift away. In addition to exercise I like to get on my motorcycle and just ride for the same reason. Sometimes if it's warm I just sit in the backyard and observe the wildlife.

I have never done social media except linked-in when I was still working, but I saw early on how FB created an addictive cycle of reinforcement, not to mention I'm just not interested in all the inane things some people share on there. And now we have seen some of the negative effects.. Books are much better, especially fiction. When you are engrossed in a good novel, time flies by.

Hope you have a better day and a great weekend.
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Old 01-09-2021, 03:29 PM
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I think activity is good - a purposeful activity - and maybe skip the news for a few days?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...44-stress.html (Stress)
D
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Old 01-09-2021, 06:16 PM
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Day 13 is great, you will have two weeks tomorrow, and that is just a kit halfway to a month sober! The constant news and sm of current events can definitely get daunting, I find getting outdoors every day for a walk helps to clear my head. I also will escape with a good book, or get sucked into binging a series on Netflix, both can make for great distractions! I do not know how to make quilts, but that sounds like a great idea!

Hang in there, and remember you can come here and read and post as much as you need.
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