babycat

I have not posted in some days but I am still going strong! I have still checked in via lurking but I just didn't have much new to say and so that is why I have been largely silent . Still reading here daily tho! Not sure of my days but been sober since Dec 3rd.
Been feeling good, still working out hard and doing OMAD with low carb and digging the results.
But I have the sneaking suspicion that I may be experiencing PAWS for the first time ever. Not a fan lol.
I just feel like a dummy, like my brain is forgetful and meandering. When I am reading books I feel the need to re read paragraphs as I absorbed nothing. I have had these weird bouts of existential anxiety that almost make me feel like I am high?? A weird disconnected feeling. I have been sober this long in the past but admittedly it has been quite a while.
Could this be PAWS? It sure feels like something! Not really looking for advice, just kind of looking for support. From what I can tell everyone's experience with it is different. But, if anyone DOES have advice, I will gladly take it!! And I will still take this feeling over hangovers and withdrawals any day.
Happy New Year loves!!

Zura

I have no advice re paws babycat but just wanted to send you good wishes in feeling better mentally. Sounds like your doing fantastically staying sober and keeping fit. Kudos to you 😊

babycat

Thank you Zura! I appreciate any and all support!!

D122y

First off I have been educated here that seeing a Dr. is the best answer for some. This is not because there is any financial gain for the site, but because nobody knows what is really going on and some folks have other things going on. e.g. eating disorder etc.

In my experience...booze causes permanent brain damage. It is the cause and the cure. While drinking I didn't realize I was feeling a certain way because I constantly was in a state of craving, drinking, drunk, or hungover. It was a cycle that i maintained for decades. Even quitting for a couple of weeks didn't make me better. I was still in the physically addicted state and craving.

Until I went several weeks clean I didn't realize how damaged my brain, and body, were. I was going definitively insanse at around 3 months clean. I call it my PAWS.

Lights were too bright, sounds were too loud. I had spatial disorientation. Panic attacks. I would hear and see things. I was paranoid. etc etc etc.

These feelings ramped up and then I started to get used to them. They didn't get better, I got used to them...then I got better.

I am confident that if I relapsed, I would revert back to these old feelings.

It took the better part of 4 years clean for me to see a huge difference in how I felt all together.

My brain had to rewire. I don't think there was any brain healing. Parts of my brain are dead forever.

So relapse, ever drinking booze again, is off the table. I am heavily kindled.

Knowing is half the battle. Education saved my life.

Suffering and time.

Thanks.

PuckLuck

No advice really other than keep up the great work. From my past experience the brain fog didn't fully clear until around the 6 month point.

advbike

The past few times I quit the brain fog has usually has cleared up completely in 3-6 months although the occasional word forgetfulness takes longer.

Surrendered19

I look to D122y almost exclusively for ongoing education about what alcohol did to us and how to recover. D122y is not always full of good news, but he sure is full of useful information that all of us need to take in and deal with.

Haris2014

Could be anything really but having one meal a day, exercising hard and stopping booze you might just be adjusting (or failing to adjust ) to quite a radical shift of lifestyle...if in doubt see a doctor

Sober45

Congrats on your sober time, you're over a month! I remember going through similar feelings. I remember feeling similar to you... almost like an out of body disconnected feeling. It gradually faded and I have much less anxiety these days. Keep going!

Dee74

Hi babycat

Brain fog was pretty common for me especially by the end of my drinking career. It took awhile to feel better...about three months for me...but it did get better

D

D122y

Thanks I think. I try to keep it simple. It is so easy to step on toes, offend, or etc. (e.g. someone tries my sober technique and ends up hurt or worse).

I need to remember that we all are different and what worked, so far, for me might end up hurting someone. That is why the Dr. is the directed answer. I can only only only offer my experience.

I am a repeater screen that has been adjusted with a life filter.

Folks here saved my life. If there is one thing I say that helps someone, my job is done. One starfish.

Love love love.

Thanks.

Surrendered19

No, you are great D122y. You break it down and put it all in terms that make so much sense. Some of it is indeed scary but you really help everyone realize what it is we are dealing with here. It isn't a game of Jenga. It is our brains and bodies and they've been damaged and we have to realize that if we want to maximize our recovery. You really help people with that in my humble opinion. You are the Yoda of brain and body connection, wiring and re-wiring.

Mysteryman

If you're living off one low carb meal a day and exercising, I think I'd take a look at that. I've been on various diets and have trained for marathons, and eating right is so important to how i feel physically and mentally. I'd make sure i was eating a good varied diet, that your blood sugar isnt rollercoastering etc.. these things have a big impact on us.

I get that you probably want to hear that its paws maybe, but it might not be.

Steely

I think you're great too, D112y.

babycat

Thank you everyone!! I appreciate everyone's wisdom, insight and experience. I should add that this is by no means a constant thing for me. It is almost 4:30 pm today and I have felt totally normal, thankfully. It just seems to come for a few minutes every couple of days. But, when it comes it is definitely unpleasant and odd.
Regarding my diet and exercise routine. This is nothing new for me. I have been doing OMAD on and off for years along with hard exercise. I am careful to get a very balanced diet , very plant heavy, plenty of protein and plenty of calories. I went to school for and was a personal trainer/pilates teacher for years, so I promise I am not a naive novice here. On weekends I am more relaxed and eat what my chef husband makes . I am just no longer supplementing with copious amounts of booze! I do appreciate the concern but this is one of the few things in life where I do know what I am doing. I just REALLY like OMAD as it allows me to truly enjoy a meal. I always hated the 6 small meals a day thing so I was happy to discover this way of eating years ago.
Anyway, I hope am not coming off as defensive. Just trying to shed some light. I can easily see where one would think my routine could be to blame and maybe I could give it a tweak if things don't improve. And/or see my doc. Sometimes I do 20/4 if I feel hungry.
Thanks again!!

Mysteryman

Sounds like you know what you're doing!
I dont think I'd be able to hack omad myself because I love food too much.
Hope you figure out what it is.

MissPerfumado

Having been very restrictive about my diet and exercise when I embarked on my sober journey, I now can see the benefit of being regimented about it in sobriety, if that is what works for you. I did it because I needed to feel in control of those two things. I am perfectionistic, have some OCD tendencies, and it put my mind at ease to manage my diet carefully and exercise harder than I had before quitting booze. So in a paradoxical way, I was actually cutting myself slack by being strict about diet and exercise.

In hindsight, I see it was a good move for me. My rule of thumb was if it supported sobriety, it was OK. I relaxed after a few months and all was fine.

Since you know what you're doing diet wise, and it's not causing dysfunction or other problems in your life, then it is probably something to just keep an eye on for now.

FWIW, I often have a somewhat elated, floaty feeling when I am restricting calories. I identify this with juice fasting which I have done a few times before. I never see this as a sustainable state ... I don't think it is healthy for me to do so.

babycat

haha, the reason why I love OMAD is because I love food too! I feel like it allows me to truly look forward to, indulge and savor. I guess it makes sense that I was such a binge drinker. Could be something for me to consider.
Thanks for the support, hope I figure it out as well soon.

babycat

Your whole post, your first paragraph in particular, resonates A LOT with me!! Wow. Many similarities there.
Thank you and so awesome you found what works for you.

anxiousrock

Probably just brain fog from burning too many calories and not eating enough?