Pureself

I am never normally one for cliche dates but I'm stuck on waiting for the 1/1/21 for my day 1. I know its silly and superficial but it kind of seems like it's meant to be in some way.

I'm posting for people's opinions, maybe even hoping people talk me out of it, I don't know really.....

For the record I've recently relapsed, about a week of drinking after 40 days of sobriety. My life is pretty much a series of on/off wagon

Dee74

Honestly, don’t wait.
You can start your new life today.

If you keep drinking you may well do what I did many years andwake up drunk one day and find it’s April already.

RAL

Hi
Nothing will be different on 1 Jan really. Who knows what can happen between now and then if you keep drinking.It's easy to put off stopping till another day, I did it for years. But another day never really comes. The best day to stop is today. Think how great you will feel on 1 Jan with 4 days sober

Tanky

Pureself, I believe you posted recently about feeling like you had ruined Xmas after taking a drink after 40 days, yes? So I am guessing you kind of know who is asking you to delay a return to the work further. Why wait? Why gift yourself more shame, more pain and more potential regret over a NYE as well? Who other than AV thinks that is necessary? what are the next few days of drinking going to add to your life?

Billymacintosh

Don't wait until Jan 1st Pureself, seize today and make it happen. Life is waiting. This is just AV trying to keep control of you, what is anymore different about Jan 1st than today, all it means is at least is 3 more days of slavery and probably beyond.
You can do this, we are rooting for you
Love Billy x
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SunnyCoastK

Hi Pureself!

I agree with the other replies, why wait until the 1st? Drinking between now and then will only make you feel worse. I know it’s scary to think about quitting forever, especially when you’ve been drinking recently. Just take it one day at a time. Give yourself a break and have an easy day if you can and drink lots of water and be gentle with yourself.

You wouldn’t want to watch someone you love continue to put themselves through all of this, would you? Why do it to yourself? (I have been thinking this to myself regarding my continuing quest for sobriety) I’m at the end of day 4.

Please don’t wait. Xx

Haris2014

It sounds like you are of the mindset of you are going to be “giving something up” instead of gaining a much better life sober..
it will be a real struggle if you feel like you are depriving yourself.

i could be wrong and you will wake up this next couple of days really glad you drank the night before but Stopping drinking doesn’t have to have a big symbolic moment don’t put that pressure on yourself.. focus on what you will gain and not what you will lose..with that in mind why wouldn’t you start immediately?

Hodd

Agree with all the above. Sorry to be a bit blunt, but such a half hearted approach means you’re probably not ready to quit drinking. Stopping drinking isn’t a small thing. It’s a big a lifestyle change as moving country or changing partner. It’s not something you do on the side.

But I wasn’t perfect either and made excuses to quit on such and such a date, but I always drank again so that was an empty promise to myself. Eventually I just stopped drinking and got through the grimness of withdrawal and decided life was way better without booze.

Stop thinking about it and quit.

doggonecarl

A future quit date isn't part of a plan to stop drinking. It's a plan to keep drinking.

DriGuy

If you are thinking you need to have one more New Years Eve with alcohol, that's probably not the best attitude. But I should talk. Every morning when I woke up, I would promise not to drink again. I did that for years. And my last drink was on January 3rd. But that had nothing to do with drinking right up to the new year. I never set a date, and in fact that last New Years drunk was just another wasted night.

Read DogGoneCarl's post just above this one. It strikes me as profound.

Sober45

I set a date for Jan 2, 2020 and it worked....almost a year sober now. I really needed time to get my head around what I would do during my drinking time. Despite what many people say, having a planned quit date can work. I am proof. Every cold turkey effort before this failed because I wasn't mentally ready.

That said, I didn't go crazy drinking more after I set my date. I was so sure about quitting, it was a done deal in my head. So if anything, I was tapering the last week before I stopped because I didn't want withdrawals. Jan 2 is and always will be an extremely important date. I love clichés.

You already know how to do sober, you had 40 days. You know what you have to do. I wish you all the best.

Raeven58

I understand, I'm only on day 3, for the third time, so I'm no expert. However, in 1986 I decided to quit smoking, set a date AND (THIS WAS KEY FKR ME) made public commitments. I was obnoxious in making the commitment, I told everyone I thought could help keep me accountable. It worked, I threw out my pack at 11:55 the night before and quit cold turkey. You've set a date that isn't for off. It symbolically puts 2020 behind you and new years is new beginnings. But have you shared with people close to you? I guess I see it less as giving up than as building the new you. I hope this helps, it actually reminded me of things I needed to remember. Best luck

Kaptn

Waiting for X, Y, Z to align so I could "comfortably" stop drinking was exactly what kept me drunk for too long. Sobriety isn't about waiting, it's about doing...or not doing, as in drinking. If you feel you need to coordinate sobriety with a date, please consult a Dr first.

Mizz

I do think there is a precontemplation stage when it involves quitting something. Even the history, being a negative, still does not stop the unhealthy behavior.

The only thing I could think of when I read your post was that you could "feel" a lot better when the 1st comes around instead of feeling bad from the effects of alcohol. No one is going to be able to talk you out of doing anything that you are not prepared or want to do. Whatever you decide, just know that the sooner you get off the train the better off you will be.

leo21

I'm not sure how to say this, but I hope you jus quit now and not wait for a specific date, because between now and then you might have an event that intervenes that is not so good. The reasons in the past for me to stop wasn't dates but events - usually bad ones - that were detrimental to my health and well being. It's really what drove me to quit a couple months ago - a bad event that still has me worried to this day. At the end of the day it is in your hands, but waiting only gives your AV more time to change your mind and convince you that things aren't that bad.

Surrendered19

On Jan 1, wake up sober and rested and live the first day of 2021 on your road to health. Don't wait until then. It is nearly here. Between this moment and midnight on Thursday, be completely poison-free and give yourself a great start to 2021. If you drink between now and then guess what you are going to feel like doing to relieve your pain on Fri, Jan 1, 2021?

Hodd

Unfortunately, nothing prepares anyone for quitting. It feels so unnatural to stop drinking, and that’s why it’s so important to fill that time with something else. Your brain has been irreversibly altered by long-term drinking and has come to expect that daily dose. When it’s not there, it’s a huge empty space in the day, and anxiety and cravings start. I reckon 99% of people relapse within the first few days, which makes naming a date in the future that much more pointless. The good news is that withdrawal only gets better. It just takes effort and willpower

BrianK

You seem to be assuming you're going to get the opportunity to make that choice January 1st. My own drinking binges have brought me so close to the point of death so many times that the more I reflect on them the more I realize I'm only alive today by a very thin margin of error that thus far has fallen in my favor. Only you know your experience, but that's been mine.

Besides, if you quit today you can let the detox process begin and say 1/1/21 is your first day "fully sober." Physicists tell us time and space bend at the cosmic level. If you celebrate a year sober on here 1/1/22 I for one won't throw a penalty flag cuz the "quit drinking date" is "off" a few days

snitch

You're gonna do what you're gonna do but the best time to stop drinking is right now. There are still 2 and a half days till jan 1st alot of yets can happen in that time. At the very least you can save yourself from 2 and a half days of pain and misery.

nez

The only thing accomplished by waiting is that your life is slipping away while you are waiting. There was no perfect time for me to quit, where everything aligned to make it so. There was a right time though and it was the NOW moment that I made the decision.

If I had waited for a specfic time/date, who knows, I might have killed someone else in a drunken driving episode or some other senseless tragedy; and would have to live with that for the rest of my life. I didn't quit a moment too soon and only had misery to gain by waiting. The enjoyment? of drinking was long gone, if it wasn't, then why was I considering quitting? Hadn't I had enough misery? NOW was the right time for me!