Kaily

I feel for you and remember that feeling of regretful shame, it eats you alive.

I know you suffer from anxiety, alcohol despite its promises actually makes everything so much worse. And adds new worries too ... it is cruel. It will be the same every time you drink, bad things said and done, remorse, regret and guilt. The only cure is not to drink no matter what.

I wish I had stopped when I was young, my life would of been so much better.

Hope you manage to get some sleep.

anxiousrock

no I am too anxious still

Dee74

There’s some great advice here AR.

Whats done is done - I really think that with enough effort you can make sure that it never happens again - It really is possible to make other healthier choices - but for now I hope you can close your eyes and get some rest.

D

Mizz

I think it is important to put nutrients in your body to calm down your nervous system.
Try to eat something. Your anxiety will lessen.

anxiousrock

I do want to eat and sleep, I just can't

anxiousrock

thank you Dee. It is done and I feel sick about it, I'm not sure what else to do, though. 90 in 90? Does it work if its online??

anxiousrock

I think I need to try 90 in 90. I'm so stressed out about this i cant even believe it. And 90 in 90 is something I haven't tried.
my heart is racing so much because of how anxious I am.
I apologized to the people I know I messaged, but I think I am missing some. My mum is still very upset and I just dont know how many more times I can say sorry. It's lost its meaning.

Hevyn

This can be the very last time. If you don't pick up, it will never happen again.

anxiousrock

it should be simple, why is it hard?

Velvetee

I'm sorry What I really understood within my double antiboozing journey (I did relapse like many of us), no words or tips help/helped until I TOOK the serious decision to move forward with my health. In my case, alcohol was a crutch I imagined I had to have as if I was on the edge of a cliff. However, now I know I was wrong. Your time will come.

brighterday1234

Surrender is key in my experience 🙏

BeABetterMan

it is both. It is simple, but it is hard. They are different. People like us that suffer from anxiety are especially prone to self medicating. That restless mind and racing thoughts. How do we quiet them...we do it with alcohol. The other thing to sobriety to me was in part accepting that I will have those thoughts. And learning to live through them. Once we remove the alcohol and spend some time in sobriety our ability to endure those thoughts increases. And as it does, those troubling thoughts become less scary because there’s not so much energy attached to them. These are things that I have learned to begin to apply in my own life. And today my anxiety doesn’t cripple me like it used to. I’m 150 days sober and I’m seeing gains, yet have a long way to go. But I KNOW that my life will continue to improve if I don’t drink. I have evidence of it. Yours can too. Get your butt on a meeting TONIGHT. You don’t have to talk. You don’t have to show your face. You can just listen. I guarantee your anxiety will be at least partially relieved. Why? Because as they say in the program; There is a Solution. And when you sit in the presence of the solution, the problem shrinks. The idea of riding a bike is foreign to us when we’re young, but we see people all around us riding. Right now sobriety might feel impossible to you, but in the rooms you will see countless people, that were at one time worse off than you beating the problem.

It’s quite setting to me.I think you’re going to do very well AR. Put the work in.

DarkStranger

Hey anxiousrock, I'm sorry to read of what you're going through. I can identify with the horrible feelings of anxiety after drinking. There's some great advice on this thread. I hope you manage to get some sleep. You can absolutely get sober for good - we're all rooting for you here and we believe in you!

Steely

I hope this is the last one for you AR. Sometimes this 'has' to happen. Our journey in learning. Growing.

And afterwhich you will never have to feel this way again.

Sorry AR.

Get good rest and plenty fluids.

vkf

Hey ar you asked if online AA meetings can work. I'm just shy of 7 months, worked the steps, still talk with my sponsor weekly. And I did it by starting with online meetings.

Since you can't sleep why see if you find one and just listen? If you want to speak up, then do so. Its possible right now to turn that corner. Your choice!! Make this the last time.

anxiousrock

I put one on last night when I was trying to sleep (after the actual meeting I went to)...and that was nice. And then I did another one when I woke up

BeABetterMan

This is EXACTLY how you do it. Get to those meetings. Everything else will fall into place. 💜

anxiousrock

hoping to make it a habit....I like regularity so I think there is one at 530pm most days and that should work.
things I'm scared of....admitting fully that I'm an alcoholic, trying to find a sponsor, working the steps.

nez

For me, when my fear of the devastating effects of alcohol exceeded my fear of those other things. I got into action and my life turned around. Hindsight has shown me despite my fear of those other things, only good things came out of admitting I was an alcoholic, getting a sponsor, and working the steps. The things I feared, saved my life.

vkf

I found relief with finally admitting I'm an alcoholic. It was almost a release of tension in a way. Once you admit it all that is needed is to keep going, 1 foot in front of the other. I ordered the BB and also downloaded a free version. That way it was always available. Caught a meeting no matter what. Figured I spent double that time hiding booze all over so what's 1 hour eh'