proudtobehere

After 18mos of sobriety I grew lonely and depressed during Covid. I recently took the bull by the horns and knocked out a week of sobriety! WOW! My sheets were never softer..My bed so restful. I've never been more rested. Then I decided I could handle one night of drinking? Obviously I couldn't. So ashamed.

Hevyn

Hi proud. That's what finally led me to having 12 yrs. of sobriety - the knowledge that I could never touch a drop. No telling what would happen if even one drink got in my system. I had always believed I could use willpower to stop whenever I wanted - but it didn't work even once. It took me a long time to finally get it - but once I stopped believing I had any control, I was able to get free. You can do it.

FiveTries

Totally understand but it is good you came back right away. I have not had 18 months ever since before teen years. You obviously know how to do this just need to put it into practice.

Dee74

Don;t waste time feeling ashamed - whats done is done and we can't change that.
Put your energy into refining and bettering your recovery action plan - the nuts and bolts of how you'll say sober.

think about how to respond the next time your inner addict suggests a night of drinking?

D

Anna

I agree that you have to be careful to not let the shame overwhelm you because it will drag you back to drinking again. Take action and figure out what you can add to your recovery plan to help you stay on track. You can do this.

BornSurvivor

Today is a new day! You can start another streak and this one doesn't have to end... You got to 18-months which means you can do it again.

Use that feeling you have as motivation to never let this happen again but as Dee and Ann said -- move on quickly. Shame is a bad feeling and you deserve better. You lost the battle but the war is far from over

biminiblue

Welcome back. Everyone is in the same weirdness bubble this year. Wash those sheets, eat some food and don't take a drink.

Keep posting and keep reading. This site is a great resource if you use it.

aasharon90

After spending 28 day away from my little family
in a rehab facility, I returned home to continue on
with my recovery schooling and lessons with a 6
week aftercare program plus many AA meetings.

I remember how much anger, resentments, irritability,
discontent I harbored once I returned home. Angry that
my family stepped in to save my life placing me into the
hands of those capable of teaching me about my alcohol
addiction and the gift of a recovery program that I could
and would incorporate in my daily life on a continuous
bases to achieve success in many areas of my life.

I could have let those resentments eat away at me and
return myself to the misery and bondage of my addiction
any time I wanted, yet, I listened, learned, absorbed and
applied those valuable lessons taught to me and to live
by to keep me from returning to my addiction.

For 30 yrs, a many one days sober, I have been trudging
along my recovery path continuing to learn new exciting,
helpful ways to enjoy my new life in recovery. It's a gift
that keeps on giving that I cant refuse.

All the gifts I have acquired over the past sober yrs. have
slowly humbled me. The gifts of life that keep me honest
and humbled.

Putting the plug in the jug and picking up the tools of
recovery is a journey that doesnt happen over night. It
takes willingness, keeping and open mind and honesty
to stay on this amazing path and journey in life.

I didnt understand what recovery was at first. It is a
learning process just like it was in grade school, high
school and college. You go everyday to learn. absorb
and apply those lessons in your life.

So does a recovery program and sober living.

Many have and are achieving success in living a sober
life and so can you. When folks go out to test the drinking
waters and return to share with me that it isnt working,
that it brings shame and remorse, then, I dont have
to question my desire to remain sober today.

Surround yourself with folks in recovery as they will happily
guide you each day to remain sober teaching you new, helpful
ways to enjoy a rewarding life alcohol free.

ZIP

Maybe it's that acceptance thing.
It took me many tries, over many years, to finally realize I simply could not drink alcohol.
Acceptance of abstinence now keeps me sober.

least

Someone here has in their signature: "You can't rewrite the beginning, but you can create a different ending." (or something like that) Start again. Don't give up. Adopt some new tactics to stay sober. You can do this! My last relapse was almost 11 yrs ago. I had six months sober and drank for two days. Woke up after that and felt a new determination to succeed. I haven't touched a drop since that day. So if I can do it, you can too.

Wharfrat123

18 months is nothing to sneeze at. You got this. I unfortunately know this feeling all too well.

Tomorrow is a new day and a great one to start a new streak.

A cunning and deceptive “friend” is alcohol. Never let your guard down.

MythOfSisyphus

Recovery is about getting up one more time than you fall. Get back on the horse and try again!

Hodd

That one night after 18 months is a blip. It’s not a relapse. I bet you regretted it the next day, though?

I’m not condoning it, but it might’ve even done you good in the long term, a reminder of the boredom, self-loathing and hangovers.

Draw a line under this one.

Bonniefloyd

I had so many setbacks before I got it into my head that I simply can’t drink. I guess some of us need a lot more proof than others. Once I finally accepted it, I felt a mixture of sadness, because I really liked drinking, and relief/freedom, because I also hated it. These days I don’t miss it at all, I’m just happy to be free.

You have a lot of sobriety under your belt, so you know you can do it. Im sure it’s not easy getting back in the zone, but once you get going, you know you can do this, and this setback can make you stronger if you are determined to learn from it.