3rd day in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 7
3rd day in
After years of trying to "cut back" only to start drinking again, I have finally decided to call it quits. I'm married with 2 kids and have realized if I don't stop I will lose them.I'm on my 3rd day and it's been Ok so far. The days aren't too bad but evenings I've been struggling. I was trying to talk my self out of quitting last night, kept telling myself I won't be able to do this, so why deal with the struggle. I made it through but I'm not looking forward to days and weeks coming up.
i don't have many people to talk to, and my wife is keeping her distance for now, we had an argument which was the tipping point for me to finally quit alcohol for good, so I am going to try to post here, which is something I never saw myself doing only weeks ago.
This weekend will be hard, Halloween is our favorite holiday and we already had plans on doing some heavy drinking. I still want to spend time with my wife kids and close friends that will be together that night, but don't want to ruin their plans either...I think I'm going to drive separately and see how it goes. My wife still plans on keeping the same plans..and drinking.
Anyway, I don't think I would write so much, but at least it's a start
Thanks
i don't have many people to talk to, and my wife is keeping her distance for now, we had an argument which was the tipping point for me to finally quit alcohol for good, so I am going to try to post here, which is something I never saw myself doing only weeks ago.
This weekend will be hard, Halloween is our favorite holiday and we already had plans on doing some heavy drinking. I still want to spend time with my wife kids and close friends that will be together that night, but don't want to ruin their plans either...I think I'm going to drive separately and see how it goes. My wife still plans on keeping the same plans..and drinking.
Anyway, I don't think I would write so much, but at least it's a start
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Hi LWTG
Well done on making that decision. I have two kids and a wife and lost the wife because I didn't give up before it was too late...I am now sober but dealing with that break up, caused by me and my drinking, was the most painful thing EVER.
If I was in your shoes I would plan a bit better for Halloween. I'm not sure 'see how it goes' will be enough - it wouldn't have been for me at that stage
Well done on making that decision. I have two kids and a wife and lost the wife because I didn't give up before it was too late...I am now sober but dealing with that break up, caused by me and my drinking, was the most painful thing EVER.
If I was in your shoes I would plan a bit better for Halloween. I'm not sure 'see how it goes' will be enough - it wouldn't have been for me at that stage
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Welcome aboard, LongWay
Great start. Always remember that with time and patience a "new normal" will develop. No matter how unrealistic it may seem during early recovery, you'll develop new habits.
If you say "this weekend will be hard", then this weekend will be hard. Instead, make a plan for what you will do. Like what else could you drink? Focus on what you WILL DO, not on what you will NOT do. For me, I consumed a lot sugar. I see others here who find vigorous exercise helpful. Find your formula
I'm a mom and I can tell you FOR SURE that being sober will positively impact your parenting. You can do this!
Great start. Always remember that with time and patience a "new normal" will develop. No matter how unrealistic it may seem during early recovery, you'll develop new habits. If you say "this weekend will be hard", then this weekend will be hard. Instead, make a plan for what you will do. Like what else could you drink? Focus on what you WILL DO, not on what you will NOT do. For me, I consumed a lot sugar. I see others here who find vigorous exercise helpful. Find your formula
I'm a mom and I can tell you FOR SURE that being sober will positively impact your parenting. You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Be123 
Hi LWTG
Well done on making that decision. I have two kids and a wife and lost the wife because I didn't give up before it was too late...I am now sober but dealing with that break up, caused by me and my drinking, was the most painful thing EVER.
If I was in your shoes I would plan a bit better for Halloween. I'm not sure 'see how it goes' will be enough - it wouldn't have been for me at that stage
Well done on making that decision. I have two kids and a wife and lost the wife because I didn't give up before it was too late...I am now sober but dealing with that break up, caused by me and my drinking, was the most painful thing EVER.
If I was in your shoes I would plan a bit better for Halloween. I'm not sure 'see how it goes' will be enough - it wouldn't have been for me at that stage
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Sober45
Welcome aboard, LongWay Great start. Always remember that with time and patience a "new normal" will develop. No matter how unrealistic it may seem during early recovery, you'll develop new habits.
If you say "this weekend will be hard", then this weekend will be hard. Instead, make a plan for what you will do. Like what else could you drink? Focus on what you WILL DO, not on what you will NOT do. For me, I consumed a lot sugar. I see others here who find vigorous exercise helpful. Find your formula
I'm a mom and I can tell you FOR SURE that being sober will positively impact your parenting. You can do this!
Great start. Always remember that with time and patience a "new normal" will develop. No matter how unrealistic it may seem during early recovery, you'll develop new habits.If you say "this weekend will be hard", then this weekend will be hard. Instead, make a plan for what you will do. Like what else could you drink? Focus on what you WILL DO, not on what you will NOT do. For me, I consumed a lot sugar. I see others here who find vigorous exercise helpful. Find your formula
I'm a mom and I can tell you FOR SURE that being sober will positively impact your parenting. You can do this!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
Great to have you with us, LongWay. We're here to encourage you - you're never alone. Try not to get frustrated - things get easier as you get some sober time behind you.
I'm glad you decided to go all in rather than trying to moderate. I wasted so many years trying to control my drinking - ending up completely dependent, with a ruined life. This won't happen to you. I never thought an online forum would do a thing - but here I am, 13 yrs. after joining SR. I check in every day - the friendship & understanding relieved my anxiety. Welcome!
I'm glad you decided to go all in rather than trying to moderate. I wasted so many years trying to control my drinking - ending up completely dependent, with a ruined life. This won't happen to you. I never thought an online forum would do a thing - but here I am, 13 yrs. after joining SR. I check in every day - the friendship & understanding relieved my anxiety. Welcome!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Welcome Longwaytogo,
Good job on getting to Day 3. I think planning how you will stay stopped and recover is so important, as the others have said. Evenings are tough, you said, so what you can do to make things a bit easier. I really couldn't be around people who were drinking alcohol for quite a long time. If you do keep your plans this weekend, it will be really important that you give it lots of thought ahead of time. Have a way out if things get too hard.
Good job on getting to Day 3. I think planning how you will stay stopped and recover is so important, as the others have said. Evenings are tough, you said, so what you can do to make things a bit easier. I really couldn't be around people who were drinking alcohol for quite a long time. If you do keep your plans this weekend, it will be really important that you give it lots of thought ahead of time. Have a way out if things get too hard.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,947
I too had those evening cravings. I had friends who drank at lunchtime, but I wasn’t interested.
Well done on reaching the right decision. It’ll be tough, but hang on in there for a few weeks and you’ll soon get out of the habit of daily drinking. The cravings will go on a few weeks longer I’m afraid, but these fade over time.
Please make sure you do quit with no “rewards” after 7 days or whatever. It messes things right up. Good luck and well done again.
Well done on reaching the right decision. It’ll be tough, but hang on in there for a few weeks and you’ll soon get out of the habit of daily drinking. The cravings will go on a few weeks longer I’m afraid, but these fade over time.
Please make sure you do quit with no “rewards” after 7 days or whatever. It messes things right up. Good luck and well done again.
I hope the support you find here can help you get sober for good. Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 41
Welcome, Long Way to Go! I am glad you made a decision to quit and that you found your way here. I did the same thing as you less than a month ago, I quit drinking and after a few days found this forum. We have safety in numbers here, you will find wonderful people who offer encouragement and support, and people going through the same things that you are so we can relate to each other and not feel alone.
For me the first step was learning a lot more about addiction and recovery by reading and posting on this forum, I joined some online AA meetings which are available basically every half hour every day, and watching some YouTube videos. This helps me to build a foundation to understand what I am going through and what to expect, and that there is more light at the end of the tunnel than we can imagine!
I totally relate to how you are wondering and worrying how you will handle social situations and triggering environments. I just went through my first big test last week with an anniversary celebration and I have another one coming up in a couple weeks with a good friend coming into town. Like others have said, make a plan, set yourself up for success, and do not hesitate to ask for support. You are on the right track! Have non alcoholic beverages and foods you enjoy ready to go at your disposal. Exercise has helped me. You are right to expect that it won't be easy, but it is certainly not impossible, and your expectations will play a big part. Whether you think you can or can't you are probably right. I know you can!
For me the first step was learning a lot more about addiction and recovery by reading and posting on this forum, I joined some online AA meetings which are available basically every half hour every day, and watching some YouTube videos. This helps me to build a foundation to understand what I am going through and what to expect, and that there is more light at the end of the tunnel than we can imagine!
I totally relate to how you are wondering and worrying how you will handle social situations and triggering environments. I just went through my first big test last week with an anniversary celebration and I have another one coming up in a couple weeks with a good friend coming into town. Like others have said, make a plan, set yourself up for success, and do not hesitate to ask for support. You are on the right track! Have non alcoholic beverages and foods you enjoy ready to go at your disposal. Exercise has helped me. You are right to expect that it won't be easy, but it is certainly not impossible, and your expectations will play a big part. Whether you think you can or can't you are probably right. I know you can!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by LongWaytoGo2
Thanks for the reply..In my head I guess I see myself doing the same things we would be doing normally, handing out candy, kids making smores.. But I just have a coffee or can of soda with me instead of my usual beer. I just realistically don't think it will be that easy, and the uncertainty of what I will feel like is what worries me.
we can change, and adapt, to a new normal
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
