Flowing

Hi all.

I'm curious as to when people started to enjoy things they used to enjoy prior to addiction taking over their lives?

I have many hobbies, cycling, motorbikes, fishing, hiking but I find myself having to force myself to do them and convince myself I'm enjoying them. I think the ease of picking up a bottle has made me lazy.

When, in your experience, did things become more natural, more organic and less forced? Maybe there's a way to get this process sped up?

Thanks

treeguy24

I don’t think it’s uncommon when you’re used to doing things under the influence it seems different and maybe even less enjoyable or you’re less engaged so to speak when you start doing them sober.

I would just take it day by day and go with the process. The longer you’re sober, the better you start to feel right? You have to just keep working through it. Not everyone’s journey through recovery is the same, so I’m not sure you can necessarily put a specific timeframe on when you may start to feel more “back to normal.”

Maybe talking about those feelings when you’re experiencing them could help? Even posting about it on here like you are now.

tomls

Most things that I used to do I don't do anymore cause I was always under the influence.

DriGuy

For sure, Drinking requires no strength, skill, talent, or learning curves. I can't think of many things that are easier than drinking, but people do make it a hobby. I worked with a guy who used to invite me over to his house with the explanation, "We'll sit around and drink some beer." Oh great, two guys sitting around talking macho and drinking beer. And this was my thought back when I was drinking myself. It's just not a productive activity that accomplishes something you can truly be proud of.

Gabe1980

I am trying to find them.....there was loads of things I used to do but know I feel quite lost when it comes to hobbies. I am reading more again but I want to DO more. Thank you for this thread, I think it will be really helpful.

SoberInCLE

I believe what you are experiencing is a natural part of the recovery process Flowing. I binge drank for 30 years and for the first year of my recovery I often felt the same way, and often had no energy. Your brain is messed up and not producing enough feel good chemicals because it was getting an assist from the alcohol. It will rebalance as long as you don't start drinking again.

I am five years sober and enjoy all those activities that you mention to the same degree as before. It's even better now that I don't have to plan in the drinking.

Steely

Keep getting logged out.

Steely

I had many interests before alcohol took over Flowing and agree with Treeguy that it take time to reestablish a life now that we are alcohol free. For me, alcohol was associated with just about everything I did. Without it I felt naked. Didn't know how to do these things anymore without feeling the 'loss'. Memories of 'enjoying' a drink around these activities. Feelings of 'missing out'.

Maybe trying something completely different would be an idea? Something you have never done before? I'm off to the art gallery this weekend to get myself a bit of Kulture. . Slowly, I'm introducing new things.

I know life is good Flowing, just got to make friends with it again.

Flowing

Thanks everyone.

As you've suggested I'm sure it's just a time thing and a casecof staying sober.

The thing that scares me is that I've had 4 months sober in the past and things didn't really get any better in this regard which was a big factor in leading to relapse.

I suppose every recovery is a new recovery though and doesn't have to follow the same paths as previous ones, I'm going to try to regain some passion for activities that don't involve alcohol.

Thanks

Wastinglife

I used to play tennis, golf, ski in the winter. Play poker. Computer games online. Drinking replaced them all. Drugs too, but alcohol was the reason I lost everything.

I don't even have job or driver's license anymore, but one day once I beat the booze, I can do these things again!

Robbie64

I don't know if I've had hobbies that drinking replaced. My problems with alcohol started relatively soon after I started to drink and when I was in my early to mid 20s. Up to that point I loved playing and watching sport, listening to music and walking. I don't think any of those could be termed a hobby and when I was drinking I listened to music all the time and watched a lot of sport on TV. I've not picked up playing sport since getting sober but I do like to go for a walk although I'm restricted in how far I can walk, probably about three miles on one walk, on fairly level ground, at the most.

I've tried to think of things I could pick up as a hobby, to fill the void left by not drinking, but I can't think of anything that appeals to me. It's something that is seen as an integral part of recovery and leading a sober life and I've thought long and hard over the years about what I could do but nothing comes to mind.

Resurgence

Hey Flowing,

Totally relate to what you're saying. In my first couple of sober months; pretty much anything I did was forced.

I'd say the way to speed it up is to just do a thing. And if that thing doesn't work for you, try something else.

Perhaps make a list of say, three activities to complete in a week. Dedicate a period of time each day to try each of those things. Mine went something like this:

• Monday - Listen to a philosophy podcast (I'd previously consumed philosophy in a drunken stupor, so it never stuck).
• Wednesday - Walk/run for half an hour.
• Friday - Follow an online drawing tutorial.

In my experience, procrastinating and questioning when it all will fall into place never worked - it just prolonged inertia, which generated anxiety.

I understand that in early sobriety's choppy waters, we just want things to be easier. But I don't think those things get easier - we get stronger.

FWIW, my longest period of sobriety is also four months, so I'd appreciate some Flowing wisdom further down the line

D122y

I enjoyed things sober from day 1, but I suffered and still suffer all the time.

The addiction hurt me so bad, I am not sure how much life force I had left.

I recall the first week sober, I was walking at work and it was like I was walking in a haze. Fortunately, doing my job generally I am sitting down or leaning on a wall.

I remember waiting in line to see a show. I could not do it without wobbling around. I was jealous of the folks next to me that could do it comfortably.

After this amount of clean time most of my weakness seems to be mental. I can do some fairly difficult physical activities, but it seems like when I am sitting around the house, I feel weak.

Suffering and time. After just a few weeks, given reasonable sleep and diet, the body is much stronger. The mind takes time time time.

Thanks.

fishkiller

Kinda reminds me of the fisherman who quit drinking. He quickly realized he hated fishing. It was just an excuse to drink.

I started at a very young age so my hobbies were sports and biking. I am too old for sports now, except fishing which I still enjoy immensely and have had more time to do since I am not hungover or too drunk to operate a boat.
I have recently bought a bicycle which I need to ride more. I really enjoy it when I do it but I am not in the shape I was so it is a workout. Probably why I don't do it much.

Don't take this the wrong way because 4 months sober is great but it takes a while for the brain to adapt to being without alcohol. Everyone is different but at 8 months now I am just starting to see things differently in respect to activities and not relating things to alcohol.

We also change as we age so things we enjoyed years ago may not appeal to us anymore and that's ok too. Find something new.

Keep on working through. You never know what may come. I recently took up fabricating and sewing canvas. NEVER in a million years would I have thought I would ever own a sewing machine but here I am.

thomas11

I didn't force it. If I didn't feel like doing something, I didn't do it. But after awhile it comes back naturally. I'm back to my hobbies and activities that I enjoy.

CincyFin

When I was a kid I loved building car models. So, I got into it again as a newly sober 48 year old. Except this time I had the money to buy all the cool stuff I needed! I bet I built 20 models or so. It helped pass the time and kept me busy and focused. I enjoyed going to hobby shops again.
I also read a lot. I spent a lot of time in bookstores and got a library card for the first time in years.

Donnylutz

When I left treatment and started outpatient I almost immediately went back to my hobbies, particularly figure skating. It's possible your hobbies have changed, that happens to people that don't drink too. Just take it a day at a time, and listen to your wants and needs. Without alcohol, you'll find you have A LOT more free time....do what feels good. Doesn't really matter what you do.

Zencat

Flowing
Yep, kite flying, 1/25 scale model building mostly cars, HO scale electric slot-cars are my some of my main interest. Non stop drugging took all that away from me. Wellness is cool!

saoutchik

I would just select the hobby out of those you listed that you have to use the least "force" to do. Also, I'm sure that it is not just drinkers who's interests change over time so maybe that is what has happened in your case. I would not be too anxious over this situation, it will probably resolve itself.

least

I didn't really have any 'hobbies' per se, but now that I'm consistently sober, I am much more interactive with my dog and cats. My favorite thing to do is to walk my dog. We get good exercise that way, plus sunshine and fresh air. Just getting out for a little walk refreshes me, and Billie just loves her sniffing time and I get a kick out of watching her 'checking her peemail'.