Why Is Sobriety So Easy?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
The first is the trickle of articles that no amount of alcohol is safe turning into a flood, kind of like being in the late 50's/early 60's for smoking.
Hopefully the trend of education around the dangers of alcohol will continue. DS, at 18, is much more aware of the negatives than I was at his age.
-bora
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
You triggered thoughts and memories about how extremely difficult and, at times, heartbreaking it was for me to quit and then to get through at least the next three to five years before I felt just okay.
I knew who and what I was and that I would never try to get sober without a lot of help. All of it made a big difference.
Thank you
I knew who and what I was and that I would never try to get sober without a lot of help. All of it made a big difference.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Your experience is not atypical at all. Most people, if they so decide, just stop, and continue to practice their bows untroubled.
Others, as you will see here have great difficulty in stopping for reasons multifarious. In my case, psychic pain, and a need to escape that pain. Others will have their own strong reasons. Think too, genetics....
So too, "skewed" observations from clinical practice. Never reliable as reflection the whole.
I can see you are glad you stopped, as am I doubly glad that I have stopped. Best choice I have ever made. A choice I intend carrying to the future grateful for the atypical opportunity to resolve, or at least try resolve, the underpinnings to the reasons why. More arrows in my quiver than ever before.
You are not atypical at all. Be glad.
Others, as you will see here have great difficulty in stopping for reasons multifarious. In my case, psychic pain, and a need to escape that pain. Others will have their own strong reasons. Think too, genetics....
So too, "skewed" observations from clinical practice. Never reliable as reflection the whole.
I can see you are glad you stopped, as am I doubly glad that I have stopped. Best choice I have ever made. A choice I intend carrying to the future grateful for the atypical opportunity to resolve, or at least try resolve, the underpinnings to the reasons why. More arrows in my quiver than ever before.
You are not atypical at all. Be glad.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Yeah, I agree with what others have said here. People quit drinking all the time, and it’s no big deal. But if you’ve been reading some of these articles online and taking “do I have a drinking problem” quizzes, it can give you the impression that you’re a desperate alcoholic, when you’re not.
You were drinking habitually, but not addicted. You were headed down the same dead end road as the rest of us, but you had the sense to recognize where this was going and take the next exit. I used to drink like you did, but I kept going. I should have quit early on, when it would have been no big deal, but I kept going until it got really hard to stop.
It’s good that you’re asking these questions because you don’t want to get complacent. You know that you have a tendency to drink habitually, and people who drink habitually tend to end up increasing the amount they drink until they are drinking habitually AND excessively. It’s so great that you stopped when you did. I definitely encourage you to stay stopped; you and your wife don’t need that crap.
You were drinking habitually, but not addicted. You were headed down the same dead end road as the rest of us, but you had the sense to recognize where this was going and take the next exit. I used to drink like you did, but I kept going. I should have quit early on, when it would have been no big deal, but I kept going until it got really hard to stop.
It’s good that you’re asking these questions because you don’t want to get complacent. You know that you have a tendency to drink habitually, and people who drink habitually tend to end up increasing the amount they drink until they are drinking habitually AND excessively. It’s so great that you stopped when you did. I definitely encourage you to stay stopped; you and your wife don’t need that crap.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 31
That societal pressure is just so sneaky indeed. When we first quit people thought we were really wierd and the corollary to quitting is obviously you shouldn't quit unless you have a serious problem so people don't necessarily think less of you, but they thing something is more wrong than it is and that makes them uncomfortable. The truth is that they don't want to admit that they too are most likely needing to quit. The real truth is that science has discovered and in the last couple years is sure that there is NO SAFE DOSE so I am very comfortable in my opinion and assertion that everyone needs to quit regardless of how much they drink and how it affects them.
It wasn't hard not to cave in though. I was able to just do more nice things. It wasn't long before everyone we knew was dumbfounded at all the other activities, hobbies and things we are able to enjoy, despite how much we work. The example is rather obvious so when you have so much to show for it there's really nothing to be ashamed of and this led just about everyone we know to also quit themselves. In no time at all instead of drinking buddies I have buddies for all the other outdoorsy activities we like. This is very wonderful.
I am still feeling improvements in my mind, my body after over 1 year. I cannot believe even though the amounts weren't that crazy (as defined by a weight loss of only 10lbs and not really eating any different) how much it was holding us back. Memory, energy, focus. No longer do I stop mid sentence because I forgot what I was talking about. But I do notice that in other people our age and I always wonder about their drinking patterns! No longer do I struggle to get out of bed. No longer do I lament the fact that I CANNOT FOCUS.
Thank you for your posts. I still think I am an alcoholic on some level. The hard facts would support that. I was just lucky quitting was on the easier end, for that I will be eternally grateful like so many other beautiful things, all of which are blotted out by alcohol whose only real function is just that mild as the trouble we were having was. We were stupid to ever do it in any amount, and even more stupid not to quit sooner. Thankfully we are not brain dead as all you really need to be intelligent is to learn from your mistakes which we did!
I would posit one more thing about moderating your alcohol consuption; it's useless. It's not even that an alcoholic cannot moderate their consumption, moderation does you no good. I know by definition an alcoholic cannot but let's say an alcoholic can. You probably might too if you try hard enough, let's assume that is true. Well it still doesn't do you any good to have a few because even one or two here and there is still harmful, and a few drinks here and there is all you need to feel crappy, groggy, foggy and not yourself. Reminds me of that movie Wargames with Matthew Broderick: the only winning move is not to play.
It wasn't hard not to cave in though. I was able to just do more nice things. It wasn't long before everyone we knew was dumbfounded at all the other activities, hobbies and things we are able to enjoy, despite how much we work. The example is rather obvious so when you have so much to show for it there's really nothing to be ashamed of and this led just about everyone we know to also quit themselves. In no time at all instead of drinking buddies I have buddies for all the other outdoorsy activities we like. This is very wonderful.
I am still feeling improvements in my mind, my body after over 1 year. I cannot believe even though the amounts weren't that crazy (as defined by a weight loss of only 10lbs and not really eating any different) how much it was holding us back. Memory, energy, focus. No longer do I stop mid sentence because I forgot what I was talking about. But I do notice that in other people our age and I always wonder about their drinking patterns! No longer do I struggle to get out of bed. No longer do I lament the fact that I CANNOT FOCUS.
Thank you for your posts. I still think I am an alcoholic on some level. The hard facts would support that. I was just lucky quitting was on the easier end, for that I will be eternally grateful like so many other beautiful things, all of which are blotted out by alcohol whose only real function is just that mild as the trouble we were having was. We were stupid to ever do it in any amount, and even more stupid not to quit sooner. Thankfully we are not brain dead as all you really need to be intelligent is to learn from your mistakes which we did!
I would posit one more thing about moderating your alcohol consuption; it's useless. It's not even that an alcoholic cannot moderate their consumption, moderation does you no good. I know by definition an alcoholic cannot but let's say an alcoholic can. You probably might too if you try hard enough, let's assume that is true. Well it still doesn't do you any good to have a few because even one or two here and there is still harmful, and a few drinks here and there is all you need to feel crappy, groggy, foggy and not yourself. Reminds me of that movie Wargames with Matthew Broderick: the only winning move is not to play.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: SE Arizona
Posts: 1,099
Throughout my drinking “career” I seldom drank much more than the equivalent of a bottle of wine per day: every day. I drank enough, and consistently enough, that when I would stop I would get mild withdrawal symptoms. These would be gone within two weeks but then, feeling good again, I had to deal with breaking the habit of drinking. I never had cravings for very long but the habit can cling like pinesap. All of the adds for ethanol I see seem to help keep the habit I’m trying to break on the front burner. In the past, breaking the habit of drinking has taken the better part of a year. I have never considered myself to be an alcoholic though, just an habitual, heavy drinker who likes himself much better when sober. I’m working on the habit part of my sobriety right now. I welcome your support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 31
Hello Cascabel that is interesting what you say. Yes a bottle of wine every day is a lot. Please remember the "moderation" amounts touted before are probably based on flawed studies probably run by alcohol companies and that while both your and our consumption exceeded that, there really is no point because all doses are harmful.
Knowing that it's bad for you is what got us to stop; what kept us "staying stopped" is the realization that there is absolutely no benefit at all. The taste, the food pairing, the socialization, the perception of relaxation is all a bunch of lies. Everything improved so much that I cannot imagine wanting to ever partake in any alcohol again.
Knowing that it's bad for you is what got us to stop; what kept us "staying stopped" is the realization that there is absolutely no benefit at all. The taste, the food pairing, the socialization, the perception of relaxation is all a bunch of lies. Everything improved so much that I cannot imagine wanting to ever partake in any alcohol again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Originally Posted by Gcesp 
flawed studies probably run by alcohol companies and that while both your and our consumption exceeded that, there really is no point because all doses are harmful. Knowing that it's bad for you is what got us to stop; what kept us "staying stopped" is the realization that there is absolutely no benefit at all.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
Originally Posted by Sober45
I agree. When I first quit, I spent some time looking at the industry as a whole. Realizing that corporate giants are getting rich off of others' addiction was a big step in recovery for me. I felt angry towards the whole industry which really helped me stay determined. I'm really happy that the "no amount is safe" movement is happening.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
I think its good to stop now then continue on and let things go downhill
I went into recovery a year ago and this is the 2nd time I stopped drinking.
The first time was about 10 years ago and I stopped for a year and a half to get back into good physical shape. Back then stopping wasn't hard for me and I wasn't a "problem drinker" but I knew I was heading down a dangerous road back then. Thats because I started to go out a little too often, stayed out just a little to late and drank pretty hard on some occasions. Back then we all just laughed off our hard drinking sessions as blowing off steam.
When I started back again about 8 years ago, I started slow but the last 3 years things sped up. I was binge drinker more and more. At the end, I would drink non stop vodka for 4 or 5 days until my body gave out. To quit this last time, I went to outpatient therapy and moved to a different state where the only people I knew was my partner and her family. Thats a far cry from the first time when I just stopped drinking and intensified my exercise routine. As people say, this is downward spiral and can happen slowly before it speeds up beyond control. its far better to stop now then trying when you are crashing.
I went into recovery a year ago and this is the 2nd time I stopped drinking.
The first time was about 10 years ago and I stopped for a year and a half to get back into good physical shape. Back then stopping wasn't hard for me and I wasn't a "problem drinker" but I knew I was heading down a dangerous road back then. Thats because I started to go out a little too often, stayed out just a little to late and drank pretty hard on some occasions. Back then we all just laughed off our hard drinking sessions as blowing off steam.
When I started back again about 8 years ago, I started slow but the last 3 years things sped up. I was binge drinker more and more. At the end, I would drink non stop vodka for 4 or 5 days until my body gave out. To quit this last time, I went to outpatient therapy and moved to a different state where the only people I knew was my partner and her family. Thats a far cry from the first time when I just stopped drinking and intensified my exercise routine. As people say, this is downward spiral and can happen slowly before it speeds up beyond control. its far better to stop now then trying when you are crashing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Not everyone gets addicted to a substance, or not to the same extent, even if they use it excessively relative to average. Your post reminds me of my smoking history. I smoked for ~20 years, sometimes pretty heavily. I could often easily stay away from it for a few days or weeks and would usually restart in some kind of social/recreational situation. Almost never smoked in my home. I quit for good when I was ~35. It was a bit gradual - initially just reduced it (and had no problem with that), but sometimes would pick it back up. Eventually, I just never bought more cigarettes and never smoked again. It was very easy for me, only rarely had very minor cravings, usually only when others around me would smoke. Then never tempted again and didn't need to make any changes in my life to achieve that. I think my smoking was definitely a habit, but not a strong addiction. I liked smoking back then, but could quite easily moderate it and stop. For many people, giving up smoking (or other forms of nicotine) can be extremely hard.
With alcohol, on the other hand, it was very different, incredibly difficult to stop and I experienced very intense, frequent cravings for a long period of time. My alcoholism was definitely a solo habit and I did it at home, alone. I was most definitely heavily addicted to drinking and couldn't simply stop using my willpower alone. I also had to remodel my life in some quite major ways to be able to stay stopped. Nothing about it was easy for me even though I didn't lean on or otherwise use help from other people all that much, more just making a program for myself and a dramatic makeover using many things from established methods.
I would also say don't worry about it being easy, just be grateful for your good luck and never drink again, so it will never become a more serious problem!
With alcohol, on the other hand, it was very different, incredibly difficult to stop and I experienced very intense, frequent cravings for a long period of time. My alcoholism was definitely a solo habit and I did it at home, alone. I was most definitely heavily addicted to drinking and couldn't simply stop using my willpower alone. I also had to remodel my life in some quite major ways to be able to stay stopped. Nothing about it was easy for me even though I didn't lean on or otherwise use help from other people all that much, more just making a program for myself and a dramatic makeover using many things from established methods.
I would also say don't worry about it being easy, just be grateful for your good luck and never drink again, so it will never become a more serious problem!
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
I think you figured out what was going on early. I knew something had changed after my first blackout but I kept drinking another 10 years. I know someone that quit right after their first blackout. I managed to get out before I had the legal/ family troubles so I consider myself extremely fortunate. I had to go through 2 years of intensive recovery because I let it go on as long as it did. I remind myself every day that I dodged a bullet. I hope you do too.
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Originally Posted by Gcesp
That societal pressure is just so sneaky indeed. When we first quit people thought we were really wierd and the corollary to quitting is obviously you shouldn't quit unless you have a serious problem so people don't necessarily think less of you, but they thing something is more wrong than it is and that makes them uncomfortable. The truth is that they don't want to admit that they too are most likely needing to quit. The real truth is that science has discovered and in the last couple years is sure that there is NO SAFE DOSE so I am very comfortable in my opinion and assertion that everyone needs to quit regardless of how much they drink and how it affects them.
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