anxiousrock

I drank last night. I blacked out on much less than I usually drink (probably because I lost weight). But this morning I'm okay...not drinking still thank God for that. I'm anxious and I want to not be, but I'm hoping that I didnt do anything stupid. Just having some tea now.

DariaM

You should come and join us over in the August class thread!!

LumenandNyx

Doesn't feel very good, does it ... I can relate.

The plus side to this equation is that you don't ever again have to sit with your tea and wonder how many people you offended the night before.

It doesn't look like drinking alcohol is doing you any favors. Life's not so bad over here on the sober side AND - - - check this out! There's room for you!!.

Anna

I had blackouts towards the end of my drinking days and I would be so paranoid afterwards, wondering what I had done or said. Ugh, awful times. I'm glad you posted Anxiousrock, and I hope you can tweak your plan so that you stay sober.

anxiousrock

I will

anxiousrock

I hope so too. I really want to be okay.

LumenandNyx

I just came across the post you wrote the other day.

You wrote "I'm about a month sober and I feel like no amount of sleep will help me. Is this normal? I have not been able to nap, just sleep at night.
I'm exercising a lot, as is recommended in recovery, working, playing some games, watching a bit of hockey now that it is back. I eat healthy for the most part and if I give in to cookies or a burger I exercise more than enough to worry about it.
Maybe I'm just tired of 2020?
Anyone else feel like this? I want to stay on the sober train and not give in because I feel crappy, which is usually what happens."

Staying sober for a month is no easy feat and it can take a lot of hard work. What happened?

D122y

What a grim reminder of what is in store for any of us that decide to relapse.

I pray your posting, a good deed, causes the Lord to touch your soul and allows you to never touch booze again.

I know that if I relapsed it would be 10x worse than I have ever felt.

The recovery time with each relapse becomes exponential and as it progresses there becomes no recovery, only insanity.

I believe it has something to do with total booze consumed over a lifetime and my body's ability to heal.

I pray you get well and never never never drink again. Booze is poison to everyone. It is a learned behavior and it can be unlearned.

We all can be born again non drinkers from now on. Proud and protective of our sober time.

Thanks.

MaximusD

Samantha, this is awesome that you DID post and came right back. This is the key that will have you be successful once and for all. Kudos to you! Also, sounds like you aren't getting too down on yourself. Again kudos. I think you are on the cusp of getting this.

thomas11

You owned up to it and came back, shows some maturity. Glad you are just having tea now.

anxiousrock

me too. But now I'm exhausted and my anxious mind won't let me relax.

anxiousrock

The anxiety is really setting in when i woke up this morning my work computer and email were up.....not happy about that and just praying I didn't do anything stupid.
I hate blackouts so much

owen90

We're all here for you. You can only control what you do from this moment on. Try not to dwell on things you may or may not have done. I know it's hard to control anxiety when it's setting in. Don't let it get hold of you, distract yourself with SR, go for a walk if possible, anything to take your mind off things. Sending you positive vibes.

Nic233

I can relate to the blackouts and anxiety that follows. They got worse for me with every relapse and attempt to drink, and I’m only newly sober again myself so it’s fresh in my brain for now.

i think it’s fantastic that you’ve come straight back into SR. you can’t change last night, it’s done and it’s out of your hands now. Stay close to SR and ditch any alcohol. I hope you feel better soon

Hevyn

Sounds like you learned something valuable, anxiousrock. It's no fun, not relaxing, not helpful in any way. You don't need it in your life.
Glad it didn't turn into a binge & that you wanted to talk about it.

copperfield

Go for you for posting and checking in! Today's a brand new day!

anxiousrock

SR has helped me a lot. Thank you all so much for being here.
I'm still anxious but I went for a long walk in the rain and just had some dinner despite feeling sick, and now watching the hockey game.

anxiousrock

I am so glad it didn't turn into a bender. It easily could have. I had today and the weekend off....glad i stopped.

Dee74

I'm glad you made it back Samantha

Sounds like you need a better plan.
What are you using for support besides SR?

D

anxiousrock

I do need a better plan but other than a handful of people no one knows about my issue and those that do know think I've got better so not much support really. Sometimes I do the AA meetings but I've never felt like I really belong there.