copperfield

Hello,
I am currently off work because I am a musician. It's been since March 16th and I feel like I am losing it a bit. I had a call back for a second interview for a dream job but found out I didn't get the job this week. Actually, the waiting process for them to let me know, I also did not handle well. It was a really bad week for me and I am finding that being home with nothing to do is really starting to get to me and get me down. I had a 3 day bender last weekend and then drank again last eve and blacked out. Is anyone else struggling with being home and not working or having anything to do? I feel meaningless...

Dee74

I needed to find meaning and purpose when I stopped working.
Now I'm at the point where I couldn't give away my days to drinking again - it's just unconscionable to me.

why not write some songs, learn a new instrument, teach yourself to sight read notation if you haven't already?
or go in a completely different direction - build something - needn't be music related just involving yourself in 'hand work' like carpentry.

This virus is dreadful and I hesitate to imply there';s a good side to it, but it has given a lot of us the opportunity of free time.

You can squander that or use it wisely.

I'm sure you'll come up with lots of ideas if you're open to them

D

brighterday1234

Dedicate your life and time to recovery. That’s how those who have achieved lasting sobriety and contentment have achieved it in my experience. Recovery needs to be a daily practice in my experience and it’s a great way to fill your time positively .

RecklessDrunk

Some of my favorite alcoholics have been musicians. Stevie Ray Vaughan's story is pretty inspiring.

I was a functioning alcoholic and I was dedicated to my job and running and lifting. This made it easy to get sober. I replaced the drinking with meetings and everything got easier. I had a schedule in place, places to be, things to do. My willingness to open myself to God facilitated this but the days were pretty cut out for me.

I had steady employment for well over a decade at the same place. Then one day I didn't. Corporate America is constantly changing and these company structures can end up like a game of musical chairs and once in a while you are the odd person out. Not that Corporate America is a bad thing, it does provide employment, products, and innovation, its just the way it is.

I was unemployed for the better part of a year, a couple "consulting" gigs came up and I had severance pay and unemployment. It got frustrating though for quite a while. What am I going to do when the money runs out?

I tried to keep as normal a schedule as possible. Starting off with a little extra time to pray and meditate. Showered and dressed every morning, no matter how stupid this sounds. Worked on finding a job, resume tweaking, sending, contacting with employers (lots of head hunters), worked on skills, new programming language kept my mind sharp. I kept a strict diet and exercise schedule, kept my body sharp. Lots of prayer, kept my spirit sharp. While I had the advantage of the quiet weekdays I scheduled one half day a week to go to the beach and relax and feel the warm sun on my skin. For that little bit of time I was not allowed to stress about my future. A little bit of forced enjoyment of God's blessings.

I wish I could play music. I would imagine that could take up a lot of time and keep you sharp. One thing I noticed about musicians is they can make good teachers. Teaching an instrument or some kind of craft even part time could probably help. I would at least loosely plan the day and try and make the free time an asset. The day is a blank sheet of paper it has not been written.

LumenandNyx

I think you've been offered some great ideas here.

This virus has afforded many of us the gift of free time to do with - anything we want. Take advantage of it.
Do you consider yourself defined by your work or do you define it?
Do you live to work or work to live?

If you're missing music - make some. Write some. Find other out of work musicians and create something together. The list goes on - you know?

Put on your thinking cap and get busy!

tornrealization

I was furloughed for 8 weeks and I may get furloughed again since new lockdowns are happening. So I've been sober a year and some change when that happened but it was triggering because solo drinking without work worries was my favorite. So instead I made it a goal to come out of it sober and working in a diet, running and doing some things I've let go around the house and such to keep it productive. I've been jobless before and the stress is immense but it's the anxiety and worry was better this time because alcohol wasn't amping it up to outrageous levels like last time. I also did play some video games I otherwise wouldn't have had time for and did some walks in open parks during slow times on weekdays. Here's what I absolutely knew ....anything I was going through was going to be made worse in my mind and actions with booze. Being sober I was giving myself a chance to be rational and worry less. The furlough could've turned permanent, I planned my steps for that...even if it meant moving in with family or taking a newer temporary type job. Booze brain would've told me...you're never gonna work again so don't even try. That's not realistic.

copperfield

Thank you everyone for the kind words. Tornrealization you are completely correct that booze brain does not help the anxiety and brings negative thoughts on. Thank you for that reminder - hearing it from someone else really resonated

MaximusD

Hi Copper, it was pretty hard at first but I just developed a routine of things that I do and time started passing by just fine. I used to go CRAZY after a few days home. Even in a single day I would often have to break it up with a trip to the store or something. Now I am home days without going anywhere but on walks and am used to it. It took some work though.

I had a friend who was trying to get a job with the state. He applied to dozens of positions. The first 30 were rejections, then in the final 10 he had 3 offers and had to figure out which one to accept. It is the old many failures before you get it kind of thing but this time I know it actually happened to someone. Keep it up!