JADIII

Well, I havent been here in a while (day 4) so thought it would be good to post as I feel pretty rotten and could use some guidance or maybe commiserate with you guys. I have no urge to drink to start which is a good thing but I feel like a zombie. I'm noticing every movement of my body and my eye has been twitching for the last few days which gets me nervous that it's something else. I've barely spoken to my wife and kids and when I get up I just want to go back to bed. Of course this whole f**ing Covid things and every single commercial or news show says it's getting worse and worse so that doesnt help me and my job stability. Needless to say, I'm under a lot of stress.

The good thing is that I'm not having any detox issues (so far) and have lost 3 or 4 pounds but my energy to do things is 2 on a scale of 1 to 10. I work throughout the day and pretty much go to bed and sleep for 10-12 hours and wake up and do it again. When I was drinking I never, ever slept 10 hours.

Thanks, I'm not new to this forum but new to quitting and have even been seeing a therapist to help with that. Any words of wisdom would be welcome as I'm pretty lost and feel like a cardboard cutout of myself.

JADIII

Of note also and something that is scary to me. I know about the AV and it just seems so easy to have a drink and everything will look rosy again. That's the trap I fall into over and over again. I do have a benzo that may help that was prescribed so was wondering your thoughts on that also

lessgravity

Nice job on day 4. Like me, I notice that your join date was a long time ago my friend. Based on that the idea that "it just seems so easy to have a drink and everything will look rosy again" needs to be absolutely vanquished from your mind. We have wasted so much of our lives in thrall to the bottle. For me I needed to accept a total paradigm shift - permanent sobriety only. And of course I know you know this but you need to put everything on the table, get the leverage from your life (your family, your kids, your health, your money, your spirit) and do the work to accept you can't ever ever pick up again. It can be done. Takes work. But your life is worth it.

redlboro

Well done on day 4. Try not to worry about the twitchy eye. I used to often get it in early sobriety 👍

JADIII

Thanks, I went to the optometrist this morning and he says that alcohol is a definite trigger and adding stress to it only makes it happen more and more. Lesson learned. FYI, he says to go get tonic water (sans the gin) and drink that and it will help a ton. Who knew.

MaximusD

You are in the worst of it now. There was another thread where the person was feeling okay then day 5 they had a huge setback but day 6 and beyond were huge improvements. Don't let these next hours break you as you are just on the cusp of better days ahead but if you drink you have to start back at the beginning and do it all over again.

LumenandNyx

Is your therapist in recovery? I ask because if she or he isn't - they're not going to be able to relate or identify with your situation. And that is extremely important to have in early sobriety.

My words of wisdom are - - - - - - - wait for them - - - - - - - - wait - - - - - - - no matter what you do, don't swallow alcohol again. Ever.

Dee74

congrats on day 4 JAD

A lot of people find the various 'class threads' helpful - why not check out the Class of July 2020 thread? All you need to do to join is post in it

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-two-6.html

D

stickyone

Congrats on day 4. Seems like your doing okay from your post. Think of the positive you are still employed, you are getting alot of sleep. I would say let you're body rest a bit. If you're schedule allows you to sleep 10 hours, then it seems you have alot of time to focus on recovery. With 7 hours of sleep you will have 3 hours to workout, attend online meetings, follow up on doctor appointment, read. And as far as the covid19 it's out of our hands , the only thing we can do is practice social distance and keep from passing it to others. As far as the medication goes the benzo take only if necessary, not to mask anything. I'm on day 70 clean from opiates. I haven't had any alcohol since September if 2012, but I am still a recovering alcoholic. Hope all is well.

Khorhey

Day 25 here. Done this 4 or 5 times in the last year. The first week is miserable. It gets better. Almost feeling normal now. Starting over isn’t worth it.