Laura3

Ive made it to day 4 and so now im starting to think about why year after year addictions are still a problem. In a way im jealous of people who are only alcoholic or addicts. If this were my only problem I believe I wouldve resolved it years ago, but I also have a battle in my mind from severe depression, anxiety, the rare occasion of mania and delusions which are embarassing so I wont go into detail but when I start thinking about these delusions it torments me, and I just want to drown them away with drinking or drugs. I wish there was an easy solution, doctors always just overmedicated me with the same pills it was insanity they just did the same thing over and over again. Maybe they didnt understand what I needed because I didnt tell all and was also using but I dont feel they would help in any way. My fear is that I will be driven to drink again by depression or trying to drown out my thoughts. I only got this far because my depression let up lately. Its pretty common for people with mental health issues to drink andd most programs like AA dont address this. 12 steps simply dont work for me. I wont be returned to sanity, or I doubt it at least. Not saying im going to drink now, just wondering what the future holds

Laura3

The attitude to both problems are completely different. Its not our fault and we are not in control of mental illness yet we are completely responsible for drinking or using. It makes everything kind of blurred, not sure what to feel responsible for or not. AA attitude of its all your fault doesnt work for people like me

PuckLuck

I am right there with you, Laura, having a dual diagnosis myself. I've dealt with it my entire life. Alcohol has always been my go-to to numb my mind and quiet the racing thoughts, but it only makes everything 10x worse. I've been on tons of medications that did not work and only made me feel like crap so I understand the whole being overly medicated thing too, which I feel is incredibly harmful honestly. Most psychiatrists are always very willing and eager to write you a prescription, that's for sure.

I've heard incredibly asinine (and dangerous) statements about mental health in AA. I just tried my best to ignore it. Barstool psychiatrists aren't very helpful.

Bottom line is, when I dried up for 8 months it really improved my mental state drastically. More than anything ever has in my life. Did I still have issues? You bet, but they were a lot easier to deal with.

Laura3

Congratulations on 8 months!

PuckLuck

Oh no, not now. That was in the past.

Anna

I'm not an AA person, but I also deal with depression. It took me a long time to get properly diagnosed and to find a medication that worked. I think it was my 3rd medication and I had to try different amounts to find what worked for me, but it was worth it. I don't feel medicated, and it simply levels the playing field for me so I have a fighting chance with my depression. Have you tried different medications?

neferkamichael

Hey Laura, I praise you on 4 days of sobriety. I've read another thread you have several times now and have relived my day 1, day 2, day 3, and on and on, Those day were frightening, terrible, with plenty of suffering. Now at 10 years sober all that is gone. Please pay attention to your AV(Addictive Voice), it's real there and will use every trick in the book to get you to drink. Being sober has not solved depression problems, financial problems some what.. Everyone here is rootin for you and glad to help. You can do it.

Laura3

I tried a lot of medications but im better off without them. Diet and lifestyle seem to have more of an effect on my mood

PuckLuck

This has been my experience as well, Laura.

And if I can also add, what really irked me about the mental health professionals I have seen is that 95% of them reach for their prescription notepad before they even genuinely talk to you in-depth about what is really going on. It's a business and they have little time and hundreds upon hundreds of patients to see and want to push product.

Laura3

Thanks neferkamichael!

Laura3

It seemed that way at times, theyd start talking and be mistaken then check their notes. Im done with them. I dont even believe their science anymore. I think mental health is also about physical health, its something imbalanced in the body

biminiblue

I agree that some people have to try several meds.

HOWEVER! None of them are intended to be used with alcohol or street drugs. They simply cannot work as prescribed. Being honest with myself and my health care professionals is really the only way.

I got off all my meds long before I quit drinking.

The quitting drinking part was the most effective mental health intervention I've ever found.

Surrendered19

It is a rare alcoholic or addict that would have an otherwise healthy and issue-free mind. Our affliction seems to nearly always go hand in hand with some sort of mental challenge - depression and anxiety are legion among us, as is past trauma, bi-polar disorder, pandemics - you name it we all seem to have some of it. You can get sober though Laura3. Drinking made all of my issues so much worse. The lie of relief was 30 minutes (max) of maniacal drunkenness followed by the daily downward slide into drunken behavior, followed by unconsciousness, then hung over, rinse, repeat. The daily cycle made everything else impossible to deal with. My other issues are still with me but now I can deal with them in a much more effective way.

PuckLuck

This is very true, although it was disturbing how I was honest with my Dr. about drinking and he/she whoever it was at the time still wrote me prescriptions, which is nothing short of pure medical negligence.

Left a bad taste in my mouth, that's for sure.

Anna

I agree. My medication helps to correct a chemical imbalance in my brain, so it's a physical thing. And, I still need to pay attention to diet, exercise and to my outlook on life. All those things help to keep my depression manageable.

Laura3

Yes im tired of feeling sick, I took a nap earlier and in the dream I woke up with a hangover and headache and stumbled to the bathroom barely able to walk. I woke up and the thought of drinking made me sick

Laura3

I tried many pills at many different times in my life at times not using anything else. I dont think they help me or I never got a prescription that worked. Antidepressants dont work for about half of people

NONIA

When I went to rehab one time they gave me 18 pills breakfast !
I can't spell .
The doctor in charge was a former drunk and dr. Understood what we were going thorough .
I spent 30 days there .
I felt great after .
I wish I went there long ago .
You can do it !

Laura3

Thanks NONIA!

biminiblue

I don't think any of the drug circulars say, "Please take with alcohol."

I mean, I agree that doctors are way too fast on the prescription pad and I hope to never take another drug that's supposed to make me feel better - but I had to get honest with myself...had I ever tried it any other way? From the time I was 12 years old I was taking either prescription drugs or street drugs or alcohol to change how I felt.

Turns out I'm perfectly capable of dealing with life without any of them. It took me a very long time to believe that, but I'm a believer now.