Newbie here and in need of support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 4
Newbie here and in need of support
It took a while for me to admit this, and I find it hard to even type, but I’m an alcoholic.
it started around feb 2019. A relationship broke down and years of trauma (cancer, rape, abuse, divorce and my child being seriously unwell). It was an odd gin here and there. Then it became that it was all day, starting around midday. I’d wake up, hungover, feeling exhausted and I’d be straight on it to boost both my mood and energy levels.
in this time, I’ve gained around 1.5 stone. And I hate that I have become reliant upon a substance to get through the day. I quit 3 weeks ago, cold turkey. Though the past two days, I’ve slipped up and relapsed. In those two days I’ve probably had 5 drinks (that would usually be my daily average).
i know these days are hard on everyone. But as a single parent to two young children, away from family and in lockdown while trying to home school, work and also study - stressed is not the word.
im here as I feel I need that support. I’ve been a secret drinker but now I need to talk. And I’d love any help, or advise on how to kick this once and for all.
Thank you, and also hello!
it started around feb 2019. A relationship broke down and years of trauma (cancer, rape, abuse, divorce and my child being seriously unwell). It was an odd gin here and there. Then it became that it was all day, starting around midday. I’d wake up, hungover, feeling exhausted and I’d be straight on it to boost both my mood and energy levels.
in this time, I’ve gained around 1.5 stone. And I hate that I have become reliant upon a substance to get through the day. I quit 3 weeks ago, cold turkey. Though the past two days, I’ve slipped up and relapsed. In those two days I’ve probably had 5 drinks (that would usually be my daily average).
i know these days are hard on everyone. But as a single parent to two young children, away from family and in lockdown while trying to home school, work and also study - stressed is not the word.
im here as I feel I need that support. I’ve been a secret drinker but now I need to talk. And I’d love any help, or advise on how to kick this once and for all.
Thank you, and also hello!
Reality...what a concept!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: CT, USA
Posts: 1,232
Welcome Cherry🤗 You have come to the right place! We have all been where you are. The most helpful thing to me in early sobriety was checking in here at SR as frequently as necessary. It also helps to have a list of things you enjoy doing, so if you get a craving you can consult it, and sometimes just in the time it takes to read your list, the craving will pass.
I am sure many others have great advice so I will leave them to it!
I am sure many others have great advice so I will leave them to it!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Well done for admitting you have a problem with drink, Cherry. You will find caring support here.
School holidays are nearly here so things will get a bit easier in that you will not have to do the home schooling.
Welcome to SR. 🙂
School holidays are nearly here so things will get a bit easier in that you will not have to do the home schooling.
Welcome to SR. 🙂
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 4
Thank you all for such a kind welcome. I was hoping it would be like this so I can talk to like minded people without fear of judging.
I will have a read around and see what tips I can pick up. I know that one of my main issues/triggers is stressed. And that need to get away from my thoughts, so I know I need to find a healthier approach.
I will have a read around and see what tips I can pick up. I know that one of my main issues/triggers is stressed. And that need to get away from my thoughts, so I know I need to find a healthier approach.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Hi Cheryl, welcome to SR. Well done for quitting 3 weeks ago, you've proved you can do it, so maybe treat that as a rehearsal, and now go for the final quit.
One of the tools that helped me, was to separate out the 'thought' of a drink, and call it my AV (Addictive/Addict/Alcohol Voice). My AV is the thought in my head that suggests a drink will ease stress, relax me, be a reward for working hard etc., .......when I decided not to drink, at all!
One of the tools that helped me, was to separate out the 'thought' of a drink, and call it my AV (Addictive/Addict/Alcohol Voice). My AV is the thought in my head that suggests a drink will ease stress, relax me, be a reward for working hard etc., .......when I decided not to drink, at all!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 4
Thanks, think that’s a good way to think about. That and also i think even journaling my thoughts will help. I just know i can’t go on like this. I’ve lost confidence, I’m not big at all. But i was a very petite girl before, active, happy and didn’t drink.
I have learnt I have a very addictive personality. I’m literally all or nothing I’m pretty much all aspects.
This one substance has managed to get a hold of me and is slowly sucking all the life out of me.
and i don’t want to allow this b@st@rd to do so.
I felt I needed to write that so I can look back if feeling the temptation.
One positive is I sought help in my GP. I was nervous to do so, as I thought I’d have social services knocking my door down. I requested some liver function tests and blood count to be done. I’m a nurse, but also after having treatment for cancer I’m well aware my liver has probably taken a beating. However they all came back fine thank god!
apologies for the waffling on! But think i need to journal somewhere safe and anonymous. I don’t want to end up wasting my life at the age of 28!
I have learnt I have a very addictive personality. I’m literally all or nothing I’m pretty much all aspects.
This one substance has managed to get a hold of me and is slowly sucking all the life out of me.
and i don’t want to allow this b@st@rd to do so.
I felt I needed to write that so I can look back if feeling the temptation.
One positive is I sought help in my GP. I was nervous to do so, as I thought I’d have social services knocking my door down. I requested some liver function tests and blood count to be done. I’m a nurse, but also after having treatment for cancer I’m well aware my liver has probably taken a beating. However they all came back fine thank god!
apologies for the waffling on! But think i need to journal somewhere safe and anonymous. I don’t want to end up wasting my life at the age of 28!
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,945
No liver damage and 28 plus you had the guts to see your GP 👍
I waited till 48 to get that far. Well done! It seems unthinkable not to drink at first, but after a few unpleasant weeks, it seems almost normal. It’s relatively easy after that as long as you stay quit. Throw that gin away as it’ll look too tempting after a bad day.
I waited till 48 to get that far. Well done! It seems unthinkable not to drink at first, but after a few unpleasant weeks, it seems almost normal. It’s relatively easy after that as long as you stay quit. Throw that gin away as it’ll look too tempting after a bad day.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Sorry, Cherry, I typed Cheryl! You're not waffling, journalling your thoughts is a great idea. You'll be able to reflect back, note patterns in your thinking which lead to a drink suggestion. Good news about the LFTs. Please don't let your AV tell you you're young and the other folks on SR stopped drinking much later...my experience is AVs are opportunistic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 4
Thanks for all the encouragement guys. I was hoping this would be a nice community!
Just been on a nice walk, and although i did have a little relapse. I’ve noticed that the super annoying sweats have gone. I knew that they were withdrawals of alcohol. But it was always so embarrassing to do the school run and have to wipe off sweat. this plus the shakes! Really don’t miss those! These are the things that I need to keep reminding myself about.
Just been on a nice walk, and although i did have a little relapse. I’ve noticed that the super annoying sweats have gone. I knew that they were withdrawals of alcohol. But it was always so embarrassing to do the school run and have to wipe off sweat. this plus the shakes! Really don’t miss those! These are the things that I need to keep reminding myself about.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,469
Welcome, you are doing a brave thing coming here and admitting your addiction to alcohol. For that, I am proud of you!
The times we are living in are very odd and stress is high.
I too am a mother, worked from home, teaching my 5-year-old (he is not self-sufficient), tending the home, cooking, and all the other hats I had to wear in 1 day while COVID began here. I was home for 3 months.
I could not have imagined adding drinking to that, that would have just added to the stress of everything.
When I approach life sober and of a clear mind, the result is often less stressful and if it is super stressful, I am the one creating that.
Living sober has its bad days, good days, and so on. But my worst day sober is nothing like my "best day" drunk.
Be well,
DC
The times we are living in are very odd and stress is high.
I too am a mother, worked from home, teaching my 5-year-old (he is not self-sufficient), tending the home, cooking, and all the other hats I had to wear in 1 day while COVID began here. I was home for 3 months.
I could not have imagined adding drinking to that, that would have just added to the stress of everything.
When I approach life sober and of a clear mind, the result is often less stressful and if it is super stressful, I am the one creating that.
Living sober has its bad days, good days, and so on. But my worst day sober is nothing like my "best day" drunk.
Be well,
DC
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi Cherry. You are so smart to get this figured out now and not let it go on for years and years. Getting sober and getting healthy will be so good for all of the issues you describe. This pandemic has thrown so much at people and it comes down particularly hard on single parents. But all of the things you describe - your past and your present - will still all be right there with you whether you drink or not. So when grappling with those challenges, you might as well be clear-headed, calm, healthy and sober. I hope you stick around and post often and tell us how it is going.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome, Cherry. This is always a safe place and we don't judge our members. We're all here to help ourselves and each other.
It sounds like you're ready to do this. Journaling helped me, especially in getting rid of the anger I had towards myself for ending up addicted to alcohol. It also helped me to change my daily routine so that I was doing something specific and different at the time of the day when I'd be most tempted.
It sounds like you're ready to do this. Journaling helped me, especially in getting rid of the anger I had towards myself for ending up addicted to alcohol. It also helped me to change my daily routine so that I was doing something specific and different at the time of the day when I'd be most tempted.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Cherry, when you feel that stress creeping up get on the floor and do a workout. Look up some mobility or other excersises you can do. That has helped me immensely. I have a 2 year old and he joins in with me in between tackling me if I am sitting up 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 56
Cherry, the things that allowed me to drop my addiction was to turn my life over to my Higher Power and by becoming more loving towards people and helping them. It has been like the silver bullet that really allowed me to stop. I started by posting positive messages on post it notes in bathrooms. Since then, I have expanded it to help people in any way I can think of (like posting on this forum). I firmly believe my addiction was meant for me to grow in my relationship with my Higher Power and to become a more loving person.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Hi Cherry. Awesome to have you here! Congrats on making such a positive decision for you and your life too. There is a ton of support, good advice and empathy here. I would just ask any questions that you have or things that worry you and you will always find someone that can help. 
xxx
xxx
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
