Dee74

We will certainly help you any way we can, but you need to put the bottle down yourself - none of us can do that for you.

Drinkings not actually helping you IMO - I think maybe you, like many of us did, are simply trying to put off the inevitable really hard decisions you need to make..

Try for a day one and let us support you - everytime you need support, check in

Once you cut that out of the picture I think you'll find your mind will be a lot clearer and you can work out what comes next for you

D

LilyLady1

SaintMaryLost, please reach out to your county social services. Explain your situation--the Parkinson's, dementia, and history of physical and verbal abuse, being dependent on his insurance, doing his job--and they can tell you about resources to help you. Hopefully, there is a way for him to be placed in a memory care unit due to the dementia, where he will be cared for by those trained in dealing with this. Yes, he'd lose the job you are doing for him and with it the health insurance. But there may be disability payments or other supports to cover care and keep you housed and fed. And you may be eligible for COBRA extension of insurance for 18 months. (May I ask how old you and your husband are? Sorry if I missed that.)

Wishing you peace and health. There are those in social services who can help you get there.

DreamCatcher17

I am sorry for your story and what you have going on in your life.

I feel like to some extent I have been there. I would drink to escape the situation I was in.

When I read what you are going through my fist thought is
"She needs to get out of this relationship for her own self, self-worth and sanity." Health Insurance, jobs, money, living situations, friends, people to help are all around you. Is it easy? NO! Will it be worth it? YES! All day YES!!!!
Could you imagine yourself in a place of peace with you and your surroundings?
Could you imagine how grateful you would be moving forward in life the sooner that would happen?

I get it, leaving an abuser is HARD. I have been there.
Do you know what is worse?
Staying and drinking your life away. Taking away the pieces of you that are going to take longer to rebuild the longer you stay, the longer you accept the abuse, the longer you drink.

That is my opinion, anyway. Speaking from a little experience, concern, and hopefulness!

I will pray for you and that you have the strength and the courage to do what you believe to be the best thing for you!

Be well,
DC

Surrendered19

SML, bit of a house of cards you are living in and it will collapse with you in it. I would leave with the clothes on your back, end the charade, and get your spouse in touch with social services. There are people who know how to take care of him and it really doesn't sound like to me you are the best person to be doing that anyway. It might not look like you thought it would but there is a peaceful, healthy, quiet and satisfying life ahead for you. But you have to be humble and largely start over. I lived in a big grand house and my spouse and I had everything we wanted. And I was a miserable insane drunk, near death at the end of my drinking career, who made everyone around me miserable. Now I live in a very small home, some would say a tiny home, with my two daughters and I am at peace and am sober. The life I thought I would live did not end up happening. But this other life provides me daily happiness and peace and I see a long road ahead that I want to be on. I wish you safety and sobriety and a good simple life. It is yours if you want it.

Bethany57

My heart breaks for you, Do you have anyone you can confide in and tell this to? Maybe you can stay with one of your children (are they adults?) or a close friend. This is beyond the call of duty. You don't deserve this and will destroy you. You husband can get help. I know here in US if you have no money you can get some aide to come in for a few hours a day. I wish I could help you. Please reach out to someone you trust. Life may be difficult at first but you can get through this.

ReadyAtLast

I agree with others to leave, go to womens refuge abuse services. They are there to help and will guide you with shelter, healthcare and options. This is no way to live. For the sake of health insurance. Yet you are under so much pressure and abuse you will drink yourself to an early grave. as others have said, they have started afresh with nothing but now have peaceful and healthy lives.

Surrendered19

How are you doing today SML? I hope you are as well as can be and thinking about a quiet peaceful future that awaits you.