Anxiety
Anxiety
I was feeling really good today until about 1PM rolled around and now I’m so anxious I feel like I’m coming out of my skin. I went to a SMART meeting on Monday, therapy yesterday, and am scheduled to see my GP tomorrow. Things are progressing but this anxiety kills. It doesn’t help that I can’t sleep that well and keep having these bizarre and frightening dreams. I had the desire to drink earlier to alleviate the anxiety, which was acute like panic, but didn’t. I have to run out to pick up my kid from school and I’ll be passing all the old haunts and don’t feel good about it. I won’t drink, but my goodness I want to.
You can find healthy ways to deal with your anxiety such as meditation, yoga and exercise. And, you might like to try this. It's simple, but it works:
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Anxiety was one of the big things, if not the biggest, that had me locked into my drinking cycle. There is, and will always be some anxiety, but I've managed to sort through or let go of much of it.
Why are you so worried?
Why are you so worried?
Samantha
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
I was feeling really good today until about 1PM rolled around and now I’m so anxious I feel like I’m coming out of my skin. I went to a SMART meeting on Monday, therapy yesterday, and am scheduled to see my GP tomorrow. Things are progressing but this anxiety kills. It doesn’t help that I can’t sleep that well and keep having these bizarre and frightening dreams. I had the desire to drink earlier to alleviate the anxiety, which was acute like panic, but didn’t. I have to run out to pick up my kid from school and I’ll be passing all the old haunts and don’t feel good about it. I won’t drink, but my goodness I want to.
It is brain damage. It is permanent, hence kindling.
Every day that I suffered as my brain learned what it felt like to be drug free hardened me and burned the hell of healing into my long term memory.
If getting clean was easy, nobody would do it. I quit about 1000 times when it was easy.
Until I couldnt stay clean without hellish anxiety and insane panic attacks, staying clean meant nothing.
Now staying clean means everything.
Thanks.
Every day that I suffered as my brain learned what it felt like to be drug free hardened me and burned the hell of healing into my long term memory.
If getting clean was easy, nobody would do it. I quit about 1000 times when it was easy.
Until I couldnt stay clean without hellish anxiety and insane panic attacks, staying clean meant nothing.
Now staying clean means everything.
Thanks.
I thought I had ruined my brain and could never recover from anxiety and other harms of drinking for 35 years. Instead I've grown sharper, wiser, and more stable with recovery. We're each different in our drinking and our recovery.
Many slightly anxious people start drinking heavily because drinking relieves their anxious symptoms. Unfortunately, they never learn to cope normally with anxiety, just to drink or drug it away.
To cope with anxiety in early recovery, I went to AA meetings where I felt safe, and spent a lot of hours here every day. I also started learn to meditate and to visualize calming images during stressful occasions, which has helped me a lot over the long haul.
Many slightly anxious people start drinking heavily because drinking relieves their anxious symptoms. Unfortunately, they never learn to cope normally with anxiety, just to drink or drug it away.
To cope with anxiety in early recovery, I went to AA meetings where I felt safe, and spent a lot of hours here every day. I also started learn to meditate and to visualize calming images during stressful occasions, which has helped me a lot over the long haul.
I know how you feel. It’s very overwhelming. I practice square breathing, read inspirational quotes, read Bible scripture, talk about it with my SR classmates, etc. I used to drink to overcome social anxiety, and it’s scary not having that crutch anymore, but being sober feels so much better than being hungover.
My blood pressure was high for the first time in ages, still within the normal range but high for me. The doc prescribed some Ativan for the next few weeks and I’m going to continue working on the breathing and redirection stuff I do with my therapist. I do have some external triggers (I was being stalked and harassed for the bulk of the last year, so anytime I have to return to the place it began I have a massive flare up—I need to go there this Sunday to give a presentation, so I guess I should have seen it coming).
Taking everyone’s advice to be kind to myself and take things slowly. I feel like I should be doing more because as little as I did when I was wasted I was somehow more productive in lots of areas. Oh well. Easy does it, I guess. I’m still super early in recovery (day 10) so I’ll try to adjust my expectations of myself.
Taking everyone’s advice to be kind to myself and take things slowly. I feel like I should be doing more because as little as I did when I was wasted I was somehow more productive in lots of areas. Oh well. Easy does it, I guess. I’m still super early in recovery (day 10) so I’ll try to adjust my expectations of myself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
I used to think I was an anxious person. I thought I was condemned to a lifetime of anxiety. I discovered when I quit alcohol that 99% of my anxiety was caused by alcohol, yet in fact I thought alcohol was helping me medicate it. How wrong I was!
Now I am alcohol free, I have minimal issues with anxiety. I make sure I eat well, exercise, sleep well, limit caffeine intake, and most of all, don't drink = no anxiety.
Now I am alcohol free, I have minimal issues with anxiety. I make sure I eat well, exercise, sleep well, limit caffeine intake, and most of all, don't drink = no anxiety.
I have room for improvement on the issues of caffeine intake and eating well.
Sorry to hear that you had a problem with being stalked and harassed last year. I'm sure that would cause some anxiety. Is all of that over now?
Sorry to hear that you had a problem with being stalked and harassed last year. I'm sure that would cause some anxiety. Is all of that over now?
Oh yes the anxiety! It sucks! I am not sure what came first... anxiety or drink? Or was it drink than anxiety? Oh well, all i know is drinking cant be helping it. And i have heard so many times that drinking just makes anxiety worse. Hang in there.
I'm specifically responding the the nightmares part of your post. I had them and very bizarre and frightening and auditory screams in the dreams would wake me up.
These eased with sober time. The super intense bad dreams tapered big time after like ~5 nights and sleep got a lot better after 3 weeks of hell.
So keep at it! Congratulations on day 10!
These eased with sober time. The super intense bad dreams tapered big time after like ~5 nights and sleep got a lot better after 3 weeks of hell.
So keep at it! Congratulations on day 10!
Dee is right - anxiety is common in early recovery. The ativan should help with that, just try not to take it for too long cause they're very addictive. The longer you're sober, the less anxiety you'll feel. It gets better!
The stalking moved online, so the dude is posting an assload of stuff about me constantly on social media—offering to give me expensive gifts, pleading for me to stop being so cruel by ignoring him, etc. It’s humiliating. We had a lot of acquaintances who haven’t blocked him on social media. Oh well. I can’t control what he does or what anyone thinks about it. It was a fight to have him expelled from the institution we were both mutually a part of because it took ages for folks to take it seriously. I don’t think I’m in physical danger but the psychological impact has been massive.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)