I hate the fact I can’t drink in moderation and have to quit completely
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I hated that, too. AT FIRST. I knew I needed to quit, and I was ready to do it, but I was ANGRY that I have a disease that makes me have to abstain forever, or run the risk of ruining my life and health completely, or dying in a horrible way. Yeah, I felt pretty sorry for myself. That anger kept me drinking longer than I probably should have. Finally got to a point where fear and misery outweighed the anger and procrastinating. Even after I quit I was mad for a while. That didn't last long. Life got so much better, pretty quickly. I never wish I could drink "normally" anymore. Any drinking at all just doesn't appeal (except for a very occasional craving that comes out of the blue and quickly disappears).
I think most of us here understand exactly how you feel, and I also think most of us will tell you that feeling goes away after the benefits of being sober start to show up in your life.
I think most of us here understand exactly how you feel, and I also think most of us will tell you that feeling goes away after the benefits of being sober start to show up in your life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
Posts: 702
I was a binge drinker and kept thinking I could be one of those people who could have 1 or 2 drinks. I would be successful a few times, but always ended up abusing alcohol at some point. I don’t even know how many times I’ve quit. If you’re an alcoholic, you can’t drink in moderation. I’m on day 26, and the thought of when I’ll have my next drink is starting to fade. I don’t envy the 1 or 2 drink people like I did in the beginning. Plus, I’ve tried so many times to quit, it’s just not worth going back to anymore.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
When alcoholics say stuff like this, it usually means they want to keep drinking alcoholically and not suffer the consequences, rather than be a “moderate” drinker. If you drink to get drunk, you already have a problem.
I’ve had to get rid of the option to drink, and it’s now a relief to me. Moderation is a special kind of purgatory and I never want to have to put myself through that awful mind wrestling and craving and that horrible itch that comes with attempting to moderate. It’s a terrible place to be. I hope you can come to accept that it’s nkt you *cant* drink, you don’t *have* to drink. There’s nothing controlling you. You’re free.
I’ve had to get rid of the option to drink, and it’s now a relief to me. Moderation is a special kind of purgatory and I never want to have to put myself through that awful mind wrestling and craving and that horrible itch that comes with attempting to moderate. It’s a terrible place to be. I hope you can come to accept that it’s nkt you *cant* drink, you don’t *have* to drink. There’s nothing controlling you. You’re free.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Think about quitting while its still a choice. I know 3-4 people didn't have the choice because they died. Others didn't have a choice because they had a stroke and were handicapped. Something to think about.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
Originally Posted by DaisyBelle7 
I was a binge drinker and kept thinking I could be one of those people who could have 1 or 2 drinks. I would be successful a few times, but always ended up abusing alcohol at some point. I don’t even know how many times I’ve quit. If you’re an alcoholic, you can’t drink in moderation. I’m on day 26, and the thought of when I’ll have my next drink is starting to fade. I don’t envy the 1 or 2 drink people like I did in the beginning. Plus, I’ve tried so many times to quit, it’s just not worth going back to anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 7
I feel exactly the same AI34 , over a third of a year sober now for the first time in decades and as my metal health improves so the fantasy of drinking in moderation grows in the background , but as i said decades of blackouts and serious incidents sort of smash that fantasy to pieces , yes i am angry that i cant join in with all the moderate drinkers and drug users , but i am mostly angry at my self for all that wasted time and the pain i have caused to my family, give sobriety a try , just to see whats on the other side , all the best DP66
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
I felt the same for many years, so I didn't stop. Just kept trying to control it. Of course I failed - and over time there was so much destruction & damage in my life. I ended up drinking all day, completely dependent on it, or I'd be shaky & sick. If we could control it we would have long ago. I'm glad you realize what needs to happen. The resentment you're feeling will ease up & hopefully disappear as you enjoy a new life free of it. You're not missing out on anything, Al34.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Al
I think most folks here can identify with that feeling.
As you say tho, you know you have to quit.
This may sound sappy but the longer I'm sober the more I love my life, and who I am.
Give yourself the chance to find that out for yourself
D
I think most folks here can identify with that feeling.
As you say tho, you know you have to quit.
This may sound sappy but the longer I'm sober the more I love my life, and who I am.
Give yourself the chance to find that out for yourself
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
Sorry you feel this way.
What is so great about drinking alcohol that you feel so strongly about?
I will have to say I do not share this feeling.
I hate that I let myself get so far down this road that I must struggle to get out off of it.
We put ourselves in this situation. No one else did.
I hope you get over it and get sober.
What is so great about drinking alcohol that you feel so strongly about?
I will have to say I do not share this feeling.
I hate that I let myself get so far down this road that I must struggle to get out off of it.
We put ourselves in this situation. No one else did.
I hope you get over it and get sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 68
Yeah, I get it, and I'm sure everyone here gets it. And I have to say, I spent a great deal of time both before and after quitting thinking that exact same thing, feeling that exact same way.
But we have to just be honest with ourselves. Even if you can drink in moderation, what does that benefit you?
The truth is, it does nothing good for you, at all. Even in moderate amounts, it dulls your senses and slows you down. And at the level most of us here drink, it's basically poison, a powerful neurotoxin that will slowly destroy your body and mind and rob you of everything you have.
Our society portrays alcohol as fun, glamorous, sexy, exciting, on and on. It's none of those things. It doesn't make you funner, sexier, more exciting or anything. You think it does and other people may think it does because they're under the same illusion, provided by the drug.
You ever been the only sober person in a room full of people buzzed on alcohol? Been a long time for me, but I do recall how silly and annoying they all seemed.
But we have to just be honest with ourselves. Even if you can drink in moderation, what does that benefit you?
The truth is, it does nothing good for you, at all. Even in moderate amounts, it dulls your senses and slows you down. And at the level most of us here drink, it's basically poison, a powerful neurotoxin that will slowly destroy your body and mind and rob you of everything you have.
Our society portrays alcohol as fun, glamorous, sexy, exciting, on and on. It's none of those things. It doesn't make you funner, sexier, more exciting or anything. You think it does and other people may think it does because they're under the same illusion, provided by the drug.
You ever been the only sober person in a room full of people buzzed on alcohol? Been a long time for me, but I do recall how silly and annoying they all seemed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi Al. You wouldn't have fun drinking in moderation, even if you could. We don't like moderation. A few drinks would do nothing for you. What you hate, what we all hate if we're being honest, is that we can't drink to excess, feel that drunken buzz, feel the high of weed, and all of that at absolutely no financial cost, and at no cost to our minds and bodies and relationships and careers. We want to chew on dynamite with a guarantee that it will never explode.
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