Jeni26

So, 4 years ago I was sitting in my car outside work having a full blown panic attack. I’d had a bottle of wine the night before...just 1 bottle...it wasn’t even a full blown binge where I’d drunk myself into blackout.

Just one bottle of white wine...

But this felt different. More serious. I was falling apart and I wanted to turn away from work and drive myself far away and end it all.

I was done, but I had really lost faith that lasting sobriety was possible for me. I’d had a couple of years, then a few months, then days....but sobriety was slipping further and further away from me and I felt like an observer to my own story...watching but powerless to change its course.

So, I had to really learn how to pick up the pen and start writing my own happy ending. I went back to AA. I took up a service position and had a home group. I did a Big Book study, I went on a retreat and was helped and then helped others. I kept in daily contact with some very close friends and shared how I was feeling. I got a sponsor.. I did everything I was told. I prayed and begged God to help me.

And, slowly I rebuilt.

Today, I look back on those early days and the memories of how difficult that was are so clear in my mind.

I never want to return to that person sitting in her car who thought the only option was to end it all.

Today I’m free and happy and my life is full of wonderful opportunities.
My kids are making their independent lives and I am changing careers and re-training. Life is good.

I’m beyond grateful I got this chance and I won’t throw it away in a hurry.

If I can do it, so can anyone.

Dig deep my friends who are struggling. Happiness is just around the corner

Xx

Steely

Thank you so much for posting on your 4th anniversary Jeni. Congratulations on turning your life around. So easily it could have been different, hey?

I listened astutely when you said you'd had a few years, a few months, days, until slowly sobriety began to slip away. The same has happened to me.

I'm 47 days sober today and hope I am able to do just as you have done. I really do want it.

Thanks Jeni.

Ravel

Congratulations, Jeni, four years! You must be so proud today, thanks for sharing!

Beautifully put, I hope you will add chapter after chapter (and I hope you're going to share them here)! Thank you!

Dee74

Glad to read this - congrats Jeni

D

Geenie

Jeni I would read your posts when I first joined here in 2012 and the struggles you were going through in the early days! You achieved something I was not able to, long term sobriety. I am only on day 32 and find it all a struggle at times, the foggy head etc, but find your post today really inspiring, so thank you for the wonderful update.

Sammy1980

For about two years I felt the same way you did sitting in your car! It was a horrable way to live. I finally was able to crab on to day one and never let it go. Today I am on day 50 and know that I will never go back.
Great job on 4 years it must feel wonderful.

aasharon90

Awesome accomplishment..!!!!

Jeni26

Hi. I got sober in 2012 then threw it all away in Dec 2014. After that, the longest I managed was 8 months or so. Then it all started unravelling....and I just couldn’t get any proper sober time at all. I almost convinced myself that it was because I didn’t want it enough.

But I did want it, the devil on my shoulder lied to me all the time about how it wasn’t possible for me to stay sober.

I’m just so grateful.

Well done on your sober time xx

Jeni26

Well done on 50 days. That’s awesome ❤️

Derringer

Awesome 👍 Jeni

​​​​​​​It's darkest before the dawn

Congratulations on your 4 year milestone.

Reid82

Congrats on 4 years sober!

DriGuy

Congratulations. I'm happy you posted.

sugarbear1

Congratulations!! You've helped me a lot in here over the years!

Zebra1275

Congratulations on 4 years!

Hevyn

Jeni - I remember how you agonized over the relapses. I've had a similar journey. I'm so very proud of you for treasuring & protecting your precious sobriety for 4 yrs. As you said, we are free. No more self-sabotage. Congratulations!

Jeni26

You’ve been here since the beginning of my journey and have been one of my biggest cheerleaders dear Hev ❤️

Jeni26

As you have helped me ❤️

August252015

I am SO proud of you! Grateful to have been and be part of your journey starting with our Feb class. xo

brighterday1234

ptown

Thanks for sharing and, as always, seeing the community on here really inspires me. Your part about sitting in your car really resonates with me. So many times sitting in the parking lot of my apartment complex hoping that I'd change but never quite getting there. This time is different and I'll be sure to let you all know when I'm at 4 YEARS instead of the 4 days I have now!