I知 back after 6 years of trying ( unsuccessfully )
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 870
I知 back after 6 years of trying ( unsuccessfully )
Hi, my name tells you a lot ! I just can稚 seem to stop drinking .. although I do manage to string a few days together here and there. My withdrawals are getting much worse and frighten me .. all my binges without exception come after altercations with my son who is now 20 and has huge behaviour challenges. He uses my drinking to bribe me into giving him huge amounts of money by saying he値l post a video of me drunk on Facebook . This would destroy me me personally and professionally ! I知 so desperate to stop ! Help !
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Welcome back!
I was just posting for someone else about how I needed help to quit drinking. I went to the hospital, where they checked me out and gave me two IV's, then sent me to a no-cost detox. At detox, I was medicated and with others who were dealing with addiction also. After detox, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has kept me sober.
There is help out there--please get it!
I was just posting for someone else about how I needed help to quit drinking. I went to the hospital, where they checked me out and gave me two IV's, then sent me to a no-cost detox. At detox, I was medicated and with others who were dealing with addiction also. After detox, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has kept me sober.
There is help out there--please get it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Originally Posted by Icandothis2013 
. He uses my drinking to bribe me into giving him huge amounts of money by saying he値l post a video of me drunk on Facebook .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
You are being abused my friend. You might not be able to accept the fact that your son with behavioral problems is capable of abusing a vulnerable adult, but that is what is happening. You are the vulnerable adult in this case, in case you might not want to accept that fact either. You don't have to live like that. That is awful what he is doing to you. It is criminal behavior. Get rid of your son and get to an ER. At best they will help you detox and start a new life in a safe way. At worst you get away from your absolute BEAST of a son for a few days.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
all my binges without exception come after altercations with my son
As to staying stopped and preventing any future binges, what have you done in the last 6 years to help you in that aspect? Have you tried AA or SMART or AVRT or any other methods? Do you have support or are you going solo? What hasn't worked and why? What can we do to help?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
That sounds a lot like blackmail to me.
There are laws around that kind of thing, I would contact a lawyer.
If he's living with you, I doubt he would really go through with it - that would likely mean you retaliating legally...and if you lost your job, (which I doubt, unless you're doing something illegal) then wouldn't he lose his home?
I'd call a lawyer.
Regardless, stop drinking AT him. That isn't solving anything and it's trying to kill you.
There are laws around that kind of thing, I would contact a lawyer.
If he's living with you, I doubt he would really go through with it - that would likely mean you retaliating legally...and if you lost your job, (which I doubt, unless you're doing something illegal) then wouldn't he lose his home?
I'd call a lawyer.
Regardless, stop drinking AT him. That isn't solving anything and it's trying to kill you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
I wouldnt tolerate that emotional and financial abuse another minute.
You need him out if he lives with you.
If he doesnt you need to cut contact with him until youre treated respectfully.
Stop drinking for YOU.
Many people here have and are doing it in many different ways.
Your son needs his own life and out of yours.
You need him out if he lives with you.
If he doesnt you need to cut contact with him until youre treated respectfully.
Stop drinking for YOU.
Many people here have and are doing it in many different ways.
Your son needs his own life and out of yours.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome back to SR. I promise you life is so much better sober, you just need to take those steps to help you get there. What have you tried in the past? Have you tried AA, outpatient, counseling? If not, you may want to investigate which might work with you.
As far as your son goes, I would cut him off financially, and if he痴 living with you set some rules for him or tell him he needs to leave. Also, let him know posting a video of you without your permission is against the law and if he does so you will be pressing charges against him.
What can you do today to help you get a start on sobriety?
As far as your son goes, I would cut him off financially, and if he痴 living with you set some rules for him or tell him he needs to leave. Also, let him know posting a video of you without your permission is against the law and if he does so you will be pressing charges against him.
What can you do today to help you get a start on sobriety?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Icandothis. I know you've posted about this very same issue with your son in the past. Until you set boundaries with him really nothing will change much unfortuantely - and you've gotten some great suggestions about how you migth go about that, both here in this thread and in past threads you've started about the same subject.
As far as the drinking goes, you can start working on that problem any time you want and SR can definitely help. You may also want to seek out some help from a local support group or resource.
As far as the drinking goes, you can start working on that problem any time you want and SR can definitely help. You may also want to seek out some help from a local support group or resource.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Your son is an extortionist.
I seriously would not put up with it for a minute, career or no career. Your integrity is of greater value and worth.
How much can he care for you if he threatens such things? My son pushed me once, and he saw the door quick smart. We are really good now, but don't push mumma, ever.
I seriously would not put up with it for a minute, career or no career. Your integrity is of greater value and worth.
How much can he care for you if he threatens such things? My son pushed me once, and he saw the door quick smart. We are really good now, but don't push mumma, ever.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome back icandothis
I think the best answer to all your problems is to get sober and stay that way. There's no shame in being sober.
Your son will lose his leverage for his pathetic schemes, and you'll be able to put boundaries in place against him and and stick to them.
Support makes all the difference. Keep posting!
D
I think the best answer to all your problems is to get sober and stay that way. There's no shame in being sober.
Your son will lose his leverage for his pathetic schemes, and you'll be able to put boundaries in place against him and and stick to them.
Support makes all the difference. Keep posting!
D
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
I知 back after 6 years of trying ( unsuccessfully )
Obviously, what ever sobriety tools you are using are not working.
It's time to do something drastic. What about inpatient treatment, or daily AA meetings?
And speaking of drastic, kick your 20 year old son out of the house.
Obviously, what ever sobriety tools you are using are not working.
It's time to do something drastic. What about inpatient treatment, or daily AA meetings?
And speaking of drastic, kick your 20 year old son out of the house.
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