Sense of doom anxiety and fear
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Sense of doom anxiety and fear
Going through some meloncolly and fear sad and alone feelings today. Slipped at xmas again 😢 trying hard to make it this time. Did you feel like this just a strange disconnected melloncolky lingering anxiety etc. I know it will pass but is this normal
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Booze messes with your brain something crazy. It won't change unless you stop 'aggravating the situation'.
In your experience and observations, what didn't work the last time? What is something different that you are trying this time?
Best of luck
In your experience and observations, what didn't work the last time? What is something different that you are trying this time?
Best of luck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
I used to call that my "3am's" when I was still drinking. A horrible place to be, entirely self-inflicted as it is. I'm sorry you're still going through this. There is a way out, as I'm sure you know. Hope you are able to put down the booze for good.
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
I’m going to have to put more effort into it try everything again but iv tried so many times I’m tired of trying. But I can’t go in like this I hate feeling so vunrable and down I really do . Just feel so helpless have had good stints then I binge again then this bla bla bla. I am fed up of letting myself down. I have to find a way out gone in far to long this cycle
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,706
Originally Posted by eve123 
Just feel so sad and lost
If you stay stopped this feeling should clear, it's hard, I know that all too well too. Have you a plan about staying stopped, Eve?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
I have that on occasion, so obviously I think it's normal, and I don't worry about it because it absolutely does pass. Of course it depends on the intensity and the frequency. When I was drinking, I experienced it probably more than I do now. At one time, I would have said that when you are sober, it won't happen anymore, but it does.
Maybe you drank to obscure that feeling and now you are feeling the full force of it. It it's bothersome, I would talk to a counselor. If you want to deal with it on your own, I'll tell you what I do. It may or may not apply to you, so keep the talking to a professional on the table.
When I experience it, it starts like an inkling, something in the back of my mind. If I wasn't paying attention to this part of myself, I may not even notice it, but I pull it up and look closer. That's when I identify the melancholy, a sense that something bad is about to happen. It's not scary. I'm just observing it. When I apply logic to it, I realize that there is nothing logical accounting for the feeling of doom, because I actually DON'T have to ability to see the future. I most likely don't have a reason for these feelings. If I've done something wrong in my past, there's nothing to do about it now. I suspect it's something I learned or had thrust upon me during my formative years. If so, it's in the past and no longer applies. I'm not going to deal with it now, because it's not debilitating, and it's always fleeting. I've simply got more interesting and enjoyable things to think about.
My guess is that a professional would take a deeper interest in this, like here's something we can talk about, and we should because it's unhealthy. But to me, it's just a slightly annoying nuisance on par with a red light that lasts too long. I don't care about it and I don't worry about it. In sobriety, you still have many of the old problems. Sobriety is not a state of perfection. You may sink your teeth into a problem and understand it, or you can ignore it if you choose. Somehow you have to decide what is really important. I don't know if I'm good at that or not. What I am sure of is than most of the issues we see as important, simply aren't that important.
Maybe you drank to obscure that feeling and now you are feeling the full force of it. It it's bothersome, I would talk to a counselor. If you want to deal with it on your own, I'll tell you what I do. It may or may not apply to you, so keep the talking to a professional on the table.
When I experience it, it starts like an inkling, something in the back of my mind. If I wasn't paying attention to this part of myself, I may not even notice it, but I pull it up and look closer. That's when I identify the melancholy, a sense that something bad is about to happen. It's not scary. I'm just observing it. When I apply logic to it, I realize that there is nothing logical accounting for the feeling of doom, because I actually DON'T have to ability to see the future. I most likely don't have a reason for these feelings. If I've done something wrong in my past, there's nothing to do about it now. I suspect it's something I learned or had thrust upon me during my formative years. If so, it's in the past and no longer applies. I'm not going to deal with it now, because it's not debilitating, and it's always fleeting. I've simply got more interesting and enjoyable things to think about.
My guess is that a professional would take a deeper interest in this, like here's something we can talk about, and we should because it's unhealthy. But to me, it's just a slightly annoying nuisance on par with a red light that lasts too long. I don't care about it and I don't worry about it. In sobriety, you still have many of the old problems. Sobriety is not a state of perfection. You may sink your teeth into a problem and understand it, or you can ignore it if you choose. Somehow you have to decide what is really important. I don't know if I'm good at that or not. What I am sure of is than most of the issues we see as important, simply aren't that important.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by eve123
I’m going to have to put more effort into it try everything again but iv tried so many times I’m tired of trying. But I can’t go in like this I hate feeling so vunrable and down I really do . Just feel so helpless have had good stints then I binge again then this bla bla bla. I am fed up of letting myself down. I have to find a way out gone in far to long this cycle
Even something as simple as saying "today I won't drink no matter what" is action. Or making the commitment to post here on SR every day, no matter if you feel good or not.
How about creating an actual list of the things you will do today to stay sober? Put in on your phone screen, tape it on your fridge or type it up in a post here. Then tomorrow look at it and see if you need to add anything or change it. But for now just worry about today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
Wow, I really like what driguy said. I go through that exact same thing.
Eve I know the EXACT feeling youre describing and I couldnt take it anymore.
The drinking made it SO much worse in the end my life was torment.
I went for meds (not saying you should) simply because I was absolutely done - with everything. And the alcohol that used to calm me turned on me, which is probably a good thing, but it sure didnt feel like it.
I have many ups and downs now, today Im feeling very depressed, but nothing like the nightmare I experienced with alcohol.
Get the alcohol out of your system. Its making it so much worse for you.
Eve I know the EXACT feeling youre describing and I couldnt take it anymore.
The drinking made it SO much worse in the end my life was torment.
I went for meds (not saying you should) simply because I was absolutely done - with everything. And the alcohol that used to calm me turned on me, which is probably a good thing, but it sure didnt feel like it.
I have many ups and downs now, today Im feeling very depressed, but nothing like the nightmare I experienced with alcohol.
Get the alcohol out of your system. Its making it so much worse for you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 184
I shouldn't be, but I'm always astonished how terrible alcohol makes me feel emotionally after a binge. It's somehow even worse than the physical withdrawal. I don't think I can survive it too many more times, so here's to a clean new year!
I'm on anti-depressants which aren't for everyone but they are helping me stabylize. Long term, living healthy has to help mental health too - eating, sleeping exercising better...
I'm on anti-depressants which aren't for everyone but they are helping me stabylize. Long term, living healthy has to help mental health too - eating, sleeping exercising better...
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
This was huge for me in early sobriety. I've done a lot of reading in recent years and eventually I figured out that the feelings of doom, anxiety, and fear were not entirely about withdrawal, or post acute withdrawal. Many studies have shown a correlation between trauma and addiction. Some studies show that there is a better than 50/50 chance that any given person who meets criteria for a substance use disorder also exhibit symptoms of post traumatic stress. If this is the case for you as it is for me, I recommend addressing the post traumatic stress.
Doom: This can be what some call hypervigilance. Those who have been traumatized often feel as if their survival mechanism (or fight, flight, freeze) is kind of "stuck on," so we feel dread, we feel unsafe, even when there is no direct evidence that we are in danger.
Anxiety: This is the sympathetic nervous system in action. It keeps us safe when we are in danger, but when that anxiety is "stuck on" due to trauma, we feel anxious even when there is little if any need for it.
Fear: What is fear if not high anxiety? And what is anxiety if not a sense of dread and doom? Together, they are interwoven into our neural networks, and often the primary reason we relapse. We don't want it so we numb it. We don't want to feel it, we don't want to remember, we just want to dissociate.
Dissociation: Alcohol, in particular, was a major tool to help me dissociate, to space out, to forget, to check out, to provide relief from doom, anxiety, and fear. The problem, though, is temporary relief just made it worse with time.
What to do? There are many methods to address this problem. Meditation, for me, became a practice whereby I learned again to sit and feel, sit and think, sit and crave, sit and ride the waves of doom, anxiety, and fear, and do nothing about it. Just sit. This is not easy at first, but it's the opposite of running from, numbing, or drowning those feelings. It takes courage.
Many therapies for doom, anxiety, and fear (trauma response) involve the body. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk is an excellent introduction to this concept. Regular exercise, yoga, walks... these are a good place to start, but if you have suffered significant trauma, you might consider a therapist that offers EMDR, somatic, or other body-based therapies for trauma.
Or, maybe it's just PAWS, but chances are, doom, anxiety, and fear are at least in part due to trauma. How many of us have never been traumatized?
Doom: This can be what some call hypervigilance. Those who have been traumatized often feel as if their survival mechanism (or fight, flight, freeze) is kind of "stuck on," so we feel dread, we feel unsafe, even when there is no direct evidence that we are in danger.
Anxiety: This is the sympathetic nervous system in action. It keeps us safe when we are in danger, but when that anxiety is "stuck on" due to trauma, we feel anxious even when there is little if any need for it.
Fear: What is fear if not high anxiety? And what is anxiety if not a sense of dread and doom? Together, they are interwoven into our neural networks, and often the primary reason we relapse. We don't want it so we numb it. We don't want to feel it, we don't want to remember, we just want to dissociate.
Dissociation: Alcohol, in particular, was a major tool to help me dissociate, to space out, to forget, to check out, to provide relief from doom, anxiety, and fear. The problem, though, is temporary relief just made it worse with time.
What to do? There are many methods to address this problem. Meditation, for me, became a practice whereby I learned again to sit and feel, sit and think, sit and crave, sit and ride the waves of doom, anxiety, and fear, and do nothing about it. Just sit. This is not easy at first, but it's the opposite of running from, numbing, or drowning those feelings. It takes courage.
Many therapies for doom, anxiety, and fear (trauma response) involve the body. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk is an excellent introduction to this concept. Regular exercise, yoga, walks... these are a good place to start, but if you have suffered significant trauma, you might consider a therapist that offers EMDR, somatic, or other body-based therapies for trauma.
Or, maybe it's just PAWS, but chances are, doom, anxiety, and fear are at least in part due to trauma. How many of us have never been traumatized?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Eating well, sleeping well and exercising are all good things for you to incorporate into your recovery plan. I think that the emotions you are feeling will begin to lessen as you move on in your recovery. And, you're right, each time there is a relapse it gets harder and harder to get back on track. Make a plan that works for you and you will get through this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,598
Yes, I have felt those feelings Eve. 
I have not fully shaken them, but things are improving. Someone ^^^ said, "don't aggravate it". and that's all alcohol did for me. It made it worse.
Great posts from DryGuy and zerothehero.
Trauma and loss have influenced my drinking for sure.
I'm trying to do the things Zero talks about Eve. Getting out, yoga, good food, etc. and if trauma maybe a therapist will help. A good one.
I do understand Eve.
We can change it. ❤️
I have not fully shaken them, but things are improving. Someone ^^^ said, "don't aggravate it". and that's all alcohol did for me. It made it worse.
Great posts from DryGuy and zerothehero.
Trauma and loss have influenced my drinking for sure.
I'm trying to do the things Zero talks about Eve. Getting out, yoga, good food, etc. and if trauma maybe a therapist will help. A good one.
I do understand Eve.
We can change it. ❤️
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Hi Eve!
I need the support of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I go to meetings, do service, and see a sponsor once a week. There's also plenty of support available here at SoberRecovery. Here's a couple good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7353123 (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 469)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ry-2020-a.html
I need the support of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I go to meetings, do service, and see a sponsor once a week. There's also plenty of support available here at SoberRecovery. Here's a couple good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7353123 (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 469)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ry-2020-a.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Eve,
I’m so glad you came here and posted about how your email feeling. I definitely felt the same way in early recovery.
I used to think drinking helped my anxiety, but truthfully, it just made it worse. I was continually avoiding whatever I didn’t want to think about and would find myself waking up in the middle of the night panicked about one thing or another.
I have been sober for four years and some of the things that have been the cornerstone of my recovery are:
-Reading and posting on SR daily
-Getting outdoors for a walk each day, the combination of exercise and nature helps.
-Mindfulness techniques: I have worked really hard to remain focused on the present, it is the only thing I have control over.
-Reading recovery books, I learned so much from each person’s story.
You can do this. If you have a counselor to talk to that may help with the anxiety as well. Also, think about joining the January of 2020 class, it helps to have others at the same point in their recovery journey.
Looking forward to seeing your posts here!
❤️Delilah
I’m so glad you came here and posted about how your email feeling. I definitely felt the same way in early recovery.
I used to think drinking helped my anxiety, but truthfully, it just made it worse. I was continually avoiding whatever I didn’t want to think about and would find myself waking up in the middle of the night panicked about one thing or another.
I have been sober for four years and some of the things that have been the cornerstone of my recovery are:
-Reading and posting on SR daily
-Getting outdoors for a walk each day, the combination of exercise and nature helps.
-Mindfulness techniques: I have worked really hard to remain focused on the present, it is the only thing I have control over.
-Reading recovery books, I learned so much from each person’s story.
You can do this. If you have a counselor to talk to that may help with the anxiety as well. Also, think about joining the January of 2020 class, it helps to have others at the same point in their recovery journey.
Looking forward to seeing your posts here!
❤️Delilah
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,388
I can remember a sense of doom that seemed to cling to me when I was first getting sober. It's a trick my mind was playing on me, making the struggle I needed to go thru to not drink somehow seem useless and pointless, that drinking was inevitable. All lies my brain was throwing up at me in order to get some more of that poison it had gotten used to and craved so desperately.
A general anxiety I'd get struck me differently. Now I believe it to be a fear of all the future complications that staying sober would bring. Being a drunk and staying one is relatively simple in a sense, still a horror movie of course. Kierkegaard called anxiety "the dizziness of freedom", the disquiet we feel from the choices life presents us with. Having to choose etc.
A general anxiety I'd get struck me differently. Now I believe it to be a fear of all the future complications that staying sober would bring. Being a drunk and staying one is relatively simple in a sense, still a horror movie of course. Kierkegaard called anxiety "the dizziness of freedom", the disquiet we feel from the choices life presents us with. Having to choose etc.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi Eve
I had to make the connection -
me drinking = feelings of doom melancholy fear sadness and anxiety when I sober up.
If you look at your last few threads you'll see similar themes - tho you may not have connected it all in your head - those feelings are the cost of drinking for you.
If you can work hard at not drinking at all - finding support and using it - and making the necessary changes in your life to support your wanting to be sober - you really never need to feel this way again
think about a plan - what could be your first step in not drinking again ever?
D
I had to make the connection -
me drinking = feelings of doom melancholy fear sadness and anxiety when I sober up.
If you look at your last few threads you'll see similar themes - tho you may not have connected it all in your head - those feelings are the cost of drinking for you.
If you can work hard at not drinking at all - finding support and using it - and making the necessary changes in your life to support your wanting to be sober - you really never need to feel this way again
think about a plan - what could be your first step in not drinking again ever?
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I just came out of holiday season binge that ended with me in the ER for serious withdrawal symptoms. I couldn't sleep for days and was expecting the end of the world. I was scared of my own shadow and hallucinating bright flashing lights.
It's normal. Take it day by day. Hour by hour even. I still feel anxious and can't sleep but I am relieved that the 2010's are over. Lost decade for me. Hope you feel better soon. Hang in there!
It's normal. Take it day by day. Hour by hour even. I still feel anxious and can't sleep but I am relieved that the 2010's are over. Lost decade for me. Hope you feel better soon. Hang in there!
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